Retribution
by Jun-I
Summary: What is Kambei and Kyuzo's connection before S7? Will a linked past destroy the hope for a shared future? Mild yaoi. Chapter 35: Things come full circle when Kyuuzou finally returns to a special place he had visited as a child. Story completed!
1. Fight!

Pairing: Kan/Kyuu  
Synopsis: Kyuu's POV on the Episode 4 match. Did Kanbei and Kyuuzou have a previous association???

**Warnings:  
- **Kyuuzou is male and is not trying to be a woman, but his perspective falls into an ambiguous gender space. So if the idea of "third gender" Kyuuzou bothers anyone, be warned - it's only going to get 'worse' in later chapters.

- Mention of female OCs - but none of them are even remotely interested in men.

- Characters may express some prejudices by making broad generalizations about certain groups of people.

**Disclaimers:  
- **The opinions expressed by Kyuuzou or any other character are NOT intended to reflect the writer's opinions.

I do not own Kyuuzou, Kanbei or any of the characters from Gonzo's S7. Am not making a profit off this fic.

**OCs:** The people Kyuuzou refers to as his 'sisters' are not his legal sisters. They are his Sensei's older students. None of the female OCs in this fic will be involved with men, so there will be no het to be concerned about. The women only serve to fill in Kyuuzou's background and motivations.

* * *

**_Kyuuzou POV:_**

I set out to look for the leader of that ragtag band of unemployed samurai who had been giving my colleagues so much trouble. My incompetent bunch of co-workers probably could have done a half-decent job if they set their minds to it, but the problem with people is they don't try hard enough.

I dropped by the band's hideout but couldn't find their leader. So I decided to try my luck by following that little samurai and the peasant girl with the needlessly exposed belly button (I still wonder why she doesn't catch a chill when the rest of us are bundled up in layers and layers). I could not see what Ukyo saw in her, but just the same, I was planning to kill her after I was done killing the samurai. It would be better for her that way.

Just as expected, the kids led me right to their leader, an unkempt middle-aged samurai badly in need of a haircut. I stayed out of sight but the samurai sensed me before he saw me. This was no common foe. The day might just turn out to be interesting.

Since the older man had already called me out, I decided to make my flashy entrance and intimidate him a little bit. I took the shortcut down that flight of 70 stairs and made my impressive landing, something I'm sure the ojisan cannot do even if his life depended on it. The dark samurai introduced himself as Shimada Kanbei and then asked for my name. I didn't even know why I bothered to tell him. He'd be dead soon enough. But maybe I shouldn't have given him the impression I was willing to entertain idle conversation, for the next thing he said was, "It seems you're a samurai so I was hoping to have a chat with you."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Just what sort of lame pickup line was that? I was not there to make small talk, so I decided to let my blades do the rest of the talking. Told him to draw his sword but he still would not give up trying to chat me up.

"You are indeed a samurai," he continued. Whatever. It is so like the typical arrogant male to presume to tell people they barely know who or what they really are. My social classification is an ambiguous issue, but that was none of his business anyway.

My second sister Mizuho had always told me that I was better than other men. That I was special - purer, higher, smarter. That because I was untainted, I had the potential to reach the heights of mastery in the warrior arts, a level that 'common men' can never achieve. She said the superior potential of my kind was recorded in the wisdom of the ancients. I once wondered if Mizu really believed what she said, or if she was just being kind. But so far, no 'common man' had been able to prove my sister wrong. This over-the-hill ojisan in need of a shave, a bath and a good shampoo would be no different. I would walk away from this fight with my clothes still smelling fresh and my hair still unruffled.

The long-haired samurai had finally drawn his sword, so I wasted no time in launching my attack. I was doing well, or so I thought. The older man was taller and had a longer reach, but I was younger, swifter and more agile. I had slain much bigger opponents before. I closed in for the kill but he was better than I expected. Before I realized it, we were stuck in a deadlock - I had my sword at his throat but I felt his blade against my skin. I knew I had cut him but at the same time, that warm redness was trickling down my neck. Good thing I was wearing a black turtleneck, and not white. I wondered, just for a brief moment, if I'd live to go home and do laundry. Then I dismissed the thought. He was the one who was going to die today. And he was the one with the laundry problem since he was wearing what I guessed to be that off-white color the mail-order catalog describes as cream, ecru, light tan, beige, or whatever. For a split second, I had the crazy thought as to whether other people think of 'Spray n Wash' just before they die. But then this Shimada Kanbei had probably never even heard of laundry stain remover, looking at him.

We were both contemplating our next move. If I put more pressure on his neck, he could certainly do the same to mine. I was closer to him than I had ever been, and I took a good look at his face for the first time. With a start, I realized I was almost half certain this Shimada Kanbei was him - the man I saw 15 years ago. The man in my memory was much younger, wore no beard, had shorter hair, but all that could have changed in the long years since that day. The fact that his name is Shimada was almost too coincidental. For a moment, I stared at his face, unsure if I was trying to remember or trying to forget.

The unkempt samurai must have noticed me studying him, and like the typical egotistic male, he misunderstood my intent and assumed I was checking him out. He leaned in towards me with an inappropriately dreamy expression and made that outrageous remark that I won't even dignify by repeating. Just as I recoiled in revulsion, the pressure on my neck eased unexpectedly. That cunning creature had taken the opportunity to retract his blade and slip the crossbar of his sword between my blade and his neck. Sparks literally flew between us as metal scraped against metal. He forced my blade away from his face in one swift circular motion while he sidestepped to close in on my right. All this while, he was gazing into my eyes in a manner that was nothing short of suggestive. The nerve! I dove, parrying his back-handed strike with my right sword and then throwing him two parting slashes as I spun away from him into a side flip. My blades missed him as he rolled out of the way. But his counterstrike failed to touch me too.

While the older warrior scrambled to his feet, I made a beautiful landing a few meters away, putting a bearable distance between us. Much as I reveled in my superior agility, I recognized that not only was my opponent physically stronger than I was, I had underestimated his skill level. I needed to attack with greater speed, and then move out of his range.

Then that Kanbei fellow came up with another lame pickup line about seeking some highly skilled samurai for an 'unspecified purpose'. Euuw. Would he never stop trying?!! "Er, Mr Shimada," I mentally suggested, "Maybe you should try the personal ads?"

Next thing he did was proposition me about joining up with him to fight the Nobuseri. I wasn't going to buy into his game this time. I flew at him with full intention of ending things there and then. I was surprised at my own fury. No opponent had ever succeeded in making me angry; they were too insignificant. Sensei told us never to get angry, because it gives a clearer-thinking enemy a weakness to exploit. But I didn't care at that moment. "This man is going down!!! Now!!!"

I came down on him with a flying leap but he intercepted my right blade with his sword and my left with his scabbard. For a moment, I was suspended in mid-air. He was supporting my whole weight on his arms. Force-against-force, many fighters could potentially have dominated me but it had never been an issue because my speed and vastly superior technique always more than made up for any differential in physical strength - until now.

My Sensei had told us, "If a small hundred pound woman uses her whole weight against a bigger man's hand or finger, guess what is going to give way? The hundred pounds, or the hand?" The only option I had now was to use my entire body weight as leverage against the taller man. I swung my knees up and kicked him in the hand and chest, launching off him. This sent him flying a few yards back to the foot of a nearby storage shed full of metal poles.

All right, all right, don't give me the "It's against the samurai code of honor to kick someone" lecture. I don't take the rigid principles of samurai honor as seriously as some of those other guys, notably the infamously inflexible Tessai. Just because I'm quiet does not mean I'm deadpan serious all the time. One has to be flexible if one wants to survive. That's what my seniors taught me. Even Big Sister Haruko, the only one of us who was born a samurai, said. "Your first priority is to kick the guy's a."

Anyway, I counterattacked that annoying Kanbei, slashing my way through the barrage of metal poles he was flinging at me. He was desperate, and on the defensive. Good. This was how things should be. I chased right up to him. But he vaulted out of my way onto the beam of the shed using one of the metal poles. As I looked up at him, he tried to cut me off using the pole as a weapon.

"Length is not everything! I'll cut him down to size!" I thought. With two clean strokes I sliced through a lower beam and one of the pillars of the building. I did not have to go up there to chase him because I could bring him to my level.

As the building came crashing down, my enemy was forced to rejoin me on the ground. We found each other amidst the flying dust and crossed swords again. It was then he seized me by the hand. No opponent had ever gotten this close before, and no man had ever laid hands on me! I would have pulled away, but his grip was like iron. He spoke into my ear, breathing heavily.

"I can't defeat you, but before you kill me, there is something I have to finish no matter what."

I froze. I've heard someone say something like this before, but she wasn't saying to it me. She was saying it to him, possibly the same man who now stood beside me. The dreaded memories forced their way into my consciousness, and against my will, I began to shudder. I bit my lip and stilled my shivers through sheer force of will, hoping my opponent had not noticed.

"If you'd excuse me," the old samurai continued. "Please let me go."

Then he loosened his grip, sliding his fingers across the back of my hand and over my wrist with deliberate slowness before letting go of me. I was too stunned at that moment to even feel outraged. Then as reality sank in, my blood pressure shot through the roof. I was now utterly convinced that Shimada Kanbei fully intended to molest me with his every move!

Shimada stepped ahead of me and said without even looking back, "You're called Kyuuzou, aren't you?"

The coward! After he had molested me, he didn't even dare to look me in the eye! He continued talking, "You'll have to wait until I destroy the Nobuseri before we fight again. Please wait for me until then."

Ask me to wait for him? That brazen creature! If he is who I think he might be, he has no right to...

But then the annoying samurai added, "... or would you strike me down right now?"

Right now? That wasn't a bad idea. I considered it. Sure, slashing someone in the back isn't the most honorable thing to do, but then sexually harassing one's opponent isn't an honorable thing either, last time I checked. If I cut him down where he stood, we would be quite even. But if I killed him now, I would never know if he was that samurai ...

I didn't get to make my decision that day, for a badly-designed fool of a robot jumped down on us, prematurely announcing his presence by shouting, "Danger, Kanbei!" I had anticipated him anyway, because I saw his reflection in the blade of my katana before he leaped at me from behind with his oversized sword. I struck his weapon out of his hand with my left blade, and was about to cleave the mecha in half with my right blade when Kanbei knocked my sword out of my hand. I swear this guy is more than aggravating! That he would condescend to disarm when he could have moved to maim or kill shows that he does not take me seriously enough! I will make him regret this! He is exactly the kind of irritating creature my sisters refer to as the 'typical male'!

I had enough 'fun' for the day. It seems this Kanbei's strategy is to make his opponents drop dead from anger when he cannot beat them fair and square! I had no desire to put up with his annoying presence for one second longer, so I took off. Well, that ojisan lucked out this time. I'll settle this when I'm less pissed off and can fight with a clear head.

* * *

**Notes:**

- Kyuuzou is, in a way, color blind. That is why he is guessing at the color of Kanbei's clothes. He has not always been 'color blind,' so he can mentally perform a color correction based on past experience. For the reasons behind his color blindness, see companion fic Unforgiven.

- The 'untainted' (celibate) male warrior as superior in skill and power to other men is a recurring motif in Chinese martial arts fiction. Eunuchs, monks, and other (heterosexually) celibate men are over-represented among super-warrior characters. Kyuuzou can be read to fit the androgynous (or gay) martial artist/cold blooded killer stereotype found in East Asian martial arts film and other fiction. Such men are set apart from other men both by their deadliness and by their gender ambiguity/sexual orientation, some examples being Yurimaru of _Ninja Scroll_, Dongfang of _The East is Red_, and Bijoumaru of _Azumi_, just to name a few.


	2. Red Warrior

Retribution  
Chapter 2: Red Warrior  
-------------------  
Author: Jun-I  
Pairing: Kan/Kyuu

Synopsis: Gorobei exercises his astute powers of observation on Kanbei/Kyuuzou.  
Warning: Emphasis on Kyuuzou's androgyny. Anyone too attached to Kyuuzou's 'masculinity' probably should not read much further. ;-)

Disclaimers:  
- The opinions expressed by Gorobei or any other character do not necessarily reflect the writer's opinions.  
- I do not own Kyuuzou, Kanbei or any of the characters from Gonzo's S7. Am not making a profit off this fic.

Notes:  
- OC: Shimada Shizuka. She is female, but like all female characters who appear in my fic, she has no love interest role to play in relation to men. She is a good many years older than Kanbei and Gorobei.

* * *

Gorobei watched the red-clad warrior depart. What a strange person. His deep voice didn't quite fit with his almost feminine appearance. Watching him speak was like watching an identity theft awareness ad on TV. But this was not the only strange thing. The other strange thing was that Kyuuzou was the second person in a week to remind Gorobei of Major Shimada Shizuka, the first one being Shimada Kanbei. Kanbei had a vague resemblance to Shizuka; and since they shared a family name, Gorobei suspected they might be related. But Gorobei did not want to pose private questions to a man he had only recently met. And there was something forbidding in Kanbei's demeanor that discouraged casual conversation.

Kyuuzou, on the other hand, looked nothing like dark Shizuka, but the way he moved reminded Gorobei of the Major when she was in battle. The woman was built more like Kanbei, taller and heavier, and Kyuuzou was slimmer and more graceful, but they used similar techniques and had the same deadly relentlessness. As far as Gorobei knew, Shizuka had never been defeated in single combat. Major Shimada had the kind of charisma that inspired a fierce loyalty in those who followed her. Gorobei counted himself fortunate to have worked as her aide. Even if Kanbei turned out to be just half the leader the Major was, Gorobei would be glad to follow him to the end. It was a pity that Major Shimada disappeared. Deserted, some said.

It was more than 20 years ago. They had returned from a battle one day when the Major said to him, "Gorobei, do you enjoy killing?"

Gorobei was young then, little more than a child. He was still giddy with the delicious rush that came from a good fight. The young soldier answered the commander, "But don't you enjoy killing too, Major? You're so good at it. In fact, you're more skilled at it than anyone I know!"

The Major looked at him dubiously, then she said, "Well, just because I'm good at something does not mean I have to like it."

She paused and added, "Think about it, Gorobei. We're out there killing ourselves. And who gets to benefit the most? Arms dealers and weapon makers, not to mention a large sector of the manufacturing industry."

"Are you well, Major? Did anything unusual happened today?" Gorobei was getting concerned. His commander had never talked like this before.

"Nothing, I just ran into an old friend on the battlefield."

"Old boyfriend?" Gorobei ventured.

"No," the woman replied, "A childhood friend. We used to play 'house' and dolls together. Now we're playing with swords and cannons. Strange how time changes things."

They never spoke of the matter again. A ceasefire was negotiated sometime later, and Major Shimada asked for leave to go home to see her parents. That was the last Gorobei saw of her. The Major never returned to the base, and her parents claimed she never went home. Then the conflict flared again, and Gorobei no longer had time to think of anything other than how to stay alive.

Kanbei's voice transported Gorobei back to the present. "I want him!" the long-haired warrior declared in a tone that sounded almost ... lustful, if Gorobei did not know better. Gorobei's eyebrows raised right up to the heavens. Did he hear that right? Good thing Kyuuzou was already out of earshot. The angry androgyne would have gotten a heart attack. Either that, or Kanbei would be in mortal danger... again.

Gorobei turned to Kanbei. Seeing that the other samurai was still gazing after the distant figure of Kyuuzou as if entranced, Gorobei chuckled. He would never have guessed that Kanbei had this side to him, but then he hasn't known the man for all that long. Gorobei didn't think Kyuuzou was particularly pleasant-looking - that was a sourpuss face if Gorobei had ever seen one - but he supposed Shimada Kanbei had other priorities besides 'beauty'.

"I can see why Shimada has fallen hard," Gorobei mused, "That red samurai has all the deadliness, grace and flexibility of a female fighter, and could almost pass for one too, if not for his voice and the lack of certain assets."

He sidled up to Kanbei. "If that scarlet samurai wasn't a man, I would think that he is a member of the 'sisterhood'. With the double katana and the red dress..."

Gorobei's sudden appearance snapped Kanbei out of his state of enchantment. "The 'sisterhood'? You mean the Red Wolves, that illegal warrior organization outside of the samurai class?"

Gorobei chuckled. This was most amusing. In normal circumstances, it would be impossible for him to sneak up on Shimada Kanbei unnoticed. "I guess Kanbei's mind was really occupied." Gorobei thought. Then he noticed that the other samurai was still dreamily caressing the neck wound Kyuuzou had given him. Gorobei suppressed the urge to explode into loud laughter. He could be having so much fun with this, but he knew better than to tease Shimada Kanbei.

"Yes," Gorobei said, keeping a straight face with some effort, "I'm talking about the Red Wolves. As for them being outside of the samurai class, one should note that there was some overlap between the Wolves and the samurai, not to mention other social classes. Membership in the Wolves was by choice, not by birth. Daughters of samurai, merchants and peasants were all found among the 'wolf-sisters'."

Kanbei looked at him quizzically, "You have quite an imagination, Gorobei. Even if Kyuuzou is really a woman, it is not possible for him/her to be a 'wolf-sister'. There are no Red Wolves left today. That organization was banned two hundred years ago when the Imperial Court decided that the class-mixing in the 'sisterhood' disturbed the social order."

Gorobei said, "Ah, but the ban simply drove the organization underground. There is a rumor that some remote all-female dojos today are really 'sisterhood' fronts. The women would never admit it though... but back to that strange warrior. He reminded me of a 'wolf-sister' because double katanas were popular with the ladies. This trend started centuries, if not millennia ago. When women took up arms in the past, they were usually facing multiple opponents. The double swords helped them against numerical odds. They were a practical bunch, those Red Wolves. Like the warrior we just saw, they wore no jewelry whatsoever - no rings, earrings, or necklaces. They considered unnecessary adornments to be liabilities in combat. The female fighters of old also favored black or dark red dresses because they could not stop to replace sanitary pads or tampons in the middle of combat. And if there was anything the Red Wolves couldn't stand, they couldn't stand their enemies laughing at their asses..."

With that, Gorobei burst out laughing. Kanbei frowned at him. "You know a lot about this illegal organization, don't you?"

Gorobei countered, "Judging by the events of the last few days, it seems that we samurai are going the way of the Red Wolves - outlawed and on the brink of extinction. And as to why I know a few things about this 'illegal' organization, I have some interest in women, so I make it a point to study their history and their methods. But I understand that not everyone shares my interests." He blinked innocently at Kanbei. It was only too obvious to the sharp-eyed and quick-witted veteran that his leader was drooling over the delicious ambiguity of that willowy androgyne.

A small smile came to Kanbei's lips. He could play along with Gorobei. "Well, I still don't think that strange samurai, be he male or female, is a Red Wolf. A REAL wolf-sister would NEVER work for Ayamaro and his son..."

Gorobei chuckled, "You do have a point."

Then Gorobei had an idea. "Let's play a game," he said, "I'll bet you that red samurai will take up your offer. If I win, you'll have to buy me dinner."

"Very well, "said Kanbei, "The bet is on. But I think you will lose. He seems every bit the sort of person whose 'no' means 'NO!'"

Gorobei grinned. He would win this one. If he read the signs correctly, that Kyuuzou was definitely playing hard-to-get; telling Kanbei he "wasn't interested", and yet leaving the door open for the besotted samurai with a parting line like, "We'll be seeing each other again, anyway."

* * *

Author's Notes:

- Kanbei's attraction to Kyuzo's androgyny is in line with traditional East Asian preferences. Here are some quotes from pp 174-175 of "Male Colors - The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa Japan":

"... the scientist Sugita Genpaku (1733-1817) declared that eight out of ten retainers of the shogunate 'look like women and think like merchants.'... Androgyny was not even necessarily thought incompatible with samurai virtues. Saikaku, writing of a daimyo's retainer 'famed as one of the most beautiful youths of the time,' describes him as 'soft and yielding in manner'; he might at first glance be taken for a girl, 'but he possessed the stalwart heart of a warrior.' ... The fascination with gender bending had ancient roots."

Similar preferences existed in China and Korea but in the interest of space, I won't cover them here.

- The Red Wolf 'sisterhood' is in part inspired by the Golden Orchid Sisterhood, a late-Imperial era organization in Guangdong, China. Not a fighter organization. They have been termed 'marriage-resisters' but they are NOT manhaters. They have been known to enlist the help of men in achieving their goals, that is, to spend their lives living with female friends. A member of the organization would get a man to marry her in name to keep her parents happy, and then live apart from her 'husband' with the female collective. Not surprisingly, the Sisterhood attracted many women who were into 'yuri'.

The League of Righteous Harmony (Yihetuan) - the organization behind the Boxer Rebellion – had an all female unit called the Red Lantern Unit. Through Chinese history, many rebel armies/organizations, although predominantly male, had all female units under the leadership of a female officer.

Think of the Red Wolves as something like Golden-Orchid-Sisterhood-meets-Yihetuan. ;-)

- As for the idea that the adaptation of double swords resulted from numerical pressures on the battlefield, I got that from reading about the Siamese army under General (later King) Tak Sin. At that time, Thai territory was occupied by the numerically superior Burmese army. Tak Sin trained his soldiers to use double swords so that one Thai could (potentially) fight two Burmese. He actually succeeded in driving the Burmese back.


	3. Reminisces of a Samurai

Retribution  
Chapter 3: Reminisces of a Samurai  
-----------------------------------------  
Author: Jun-I

Pairing: Kan/Kyuu  
Summary: Kyuuzou recalls his life before S7. Where Kyuuzou got his nice red dress from :-)

Warnings and disclaimers: See first chapter.  
Notes: The people Kyuuzou calls 'sisters' are not his legal sisters. They are his Sensei's older students. There is no love interest involving the women.

* * *

As Kyuuzou walked back to his employer's compound, the memory of that botched match played itself over and over in his head like a faulty video recording. He tried to push the image of Kanbei out of his head but it kept coming back - his face, his voice, his touch ... The red-eyed samurai wanted to kill Shimada Kanbei, but more than that, he needed to kill that nascent emotion that he could not, and would not name.

"It was just a stupid game that lowlifes like Shimada like to play." Kyuuzou told himself. "No need to think too much of it." But then why did the memory of that man's shameless declaration, his intense gaze, his hand on Kyuuzou's, and his breath against his face fill him with an indescribable dread? The angry androgyne strode past the guards at the doors of Ayamaro's mansion, ignoring their greetings. He was still lost in thought. "If Shimada Kanbei had not appeared, I would have remained as I was - untouchable, unfeeling and unperturbed. I worked hard for years to achieve this mental state, and in one day, he took it all away. How I detest this man!!!"

Kyuuzou saw Hyogo coming down the the corridor. Hyogo took one glance at Kyuuzou's wounded neck and grinned mockingly, but Kyuuzou disregarded the other man and walked past him resolutely before Hyogo could squeeze a word in. He was still fuming. "If my sisters were there," Kyuuzou thought, "they would have pulverized that ill-mannered Shimada for even daring to eye me so brazenly, not to mention for speaking those impertinent words and taking advantage of the situation to touch me inappropriately. But I don't need their help. I can finish this one on my own."

As Kyuuzou slid open the door to his room, it dawned on him that he neglected to take his prescription that morning. He was in such a hurry to go chase Kanbei, he forgot the antidepressants. "Little wonder my brain is trapped in this obsessive thought pattern!" Instead of checking his bleeding neck wound in the mirror, the samurai zoomed straight to the medicine bottle and popped twice the prescribed dose into his mouth. Just two years ago, Kyuuzou would not have considered taking mood-controlling medication, but Ayamaro had ordered his bodyguard to see the doctor after numerous complaints from other municipal employees about Kyuuzou's anger management issues. The doctor gave him a prescription which he would have thrown out if Ayamaro had not been so insistent that he follow the regimen. Anyway, it must have worked, for his colleagues did not seem as afraid to talk to him as they once were. Not that he cared. But at least Ayamaro was not getting anywhere near as many complaints about Kyuuzou as before.

At any rate, effective as the drugs were, Kyuuzou knew that they would take effect only after a number of hours. "If they worked as fast as I wanted, they would be illegal," he sighed. He would have to resort to mental gymnastics to keep Kanbei out of his mind until the medication kicked in.  
Kyuuzou usually avoided thinking about the Great War, but at this moment, self-inflicted mental pain was preferable to letting his thoughts wander back to that dark warrior who had mastery of him, even if only for a brief moment. The silent samurai opened the gates of memory and allowed selected recollections to filter into his consciousness... During the war, he and his 'sisters' left Sensei to join the army. Haruko went first, followed by Mizuho and Ayame. Finally Kyuuzou joined them. At sixteen, Kyuuzou was the youngest of the four.

Ever since he came to live with them, he noticed the three 'sisters' would leave Sensei's mountain home once in a while, claiming that they were going to visit the parents of one of the girls. They would be gone for days at a time. Then Kyuuzou would hear rumors floating about town. Rumors of three masked fighters roaming the cities and countryside, skirmishing with marauding soldiers or rescuing kidnapped women from the private security forces of wealthy men. Kyuuzou had once asked if he could accompany his seniors on their trips down the mountain. They told him he couldn't come along, because it would not be 'convenient' to bring a boy to stay with their parents. And that they were planning to go kimono shopping, something which he presumably would not be interested in. The three females did not always come back to Kyuuzou with new clothes but Mizuho and Ayame sometimes returned with unexplained injuries. Though as time passed and the two younger female fighters became more experienced, such injuries became rarer. Kyuuzou had been jealous beyond words. The girls were getting to see all the action, testing their skills in the 'real world', and he was stuck at home waiting.

The fact that the three people closest to him lied to him over this one thing hurt him more than he wanted to admit. After all he had done to fit in with the girls, they still saw him as an outsider. But then, it was he who first deceived them, so perhaps he had no right to complain. If the women didn't want him in, it was fine by him! Women and their misguided 'save the world' mentality! He wanted no part in this foolishness! Sometimes the three fools created more problems than they solved, for they were not always around to 'save the day' when the cronies of villains they had slain returned to exact revenge on the hapless victims.

But whether he liked his 'sisters' or hated them, they were destined to remain together for at least a while longer. Their Sensei had insisted that the four of them try to stay in the same battalion so they could 'take care of one another'. Sensei seemed to think that the prejudices of comrades might be nearly as dangerous as the weapons of enemies. Of the four of Sensei's students, three were female, and Ayame and Mizuho were not from samurai families. Kyuuzou knew his class status was also somewhat ambiguous. His gender ambiguity was even more of a concern; Sensei and Haruko worried that his androgynous appearance might attract "the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of man". Since Kyuuzou had never at any point in his life heard them mention "the right kind of attention from the right kind of man", he had to conclude that such a thing simply did not exist. Speaking of "the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of man", wasn't that exactly what happened with Shimada Kanbei earlier in the day? Damnation! Why was he thinking about that man again?!!

Kyuuzou masterfully steered his thoughts back to the past. After joining the army, he realized that the women, particularly those from non-samurai classes, had to work twice as hard to gain the same recognition as the men. Not that his sisters and himself had much trouble with getting recognition. They outfought all the male samurai in the regiment. But Kyuuzou also noticed another thing - the samurai men seemed to accept Haruko more easily than they accepted him. After making a few flashy kills, the samurai woman was welcomed as "one of the guys." It seemed that a mannish woman was better than a girlish boy. Such was his fate - to be shut out from both the worlds of men and women. But it was his own decision to take the 'middle way'.

The crimson samurai had chosen a lonely road, but he had no regrets and blamed no one. And he was not the only one of the 'four sisters' to make a controversial choice. Mizuho decided to mechanize. "All to gain and nothing to lose," she said. Once Sensei learnt that Mizuho wanted to become a mecha warrior, she sent Mizu a letter telling her that mechanization was for cowards who did not have the courage to live as women. Mizuho was always the mildest of the three 'sisters', so Kyuuzou was surprised when she tore up the letter in a fit of rage, shouting, "Nobody, nobody, has the right to control what I can or cannot do with my body! Not even Sensei!" Then she stormed off. Kyuuzou tried to follow after her but Haruko stopped him and told him to let her be. Haruko then spoke of how Mizuho had an aunt who was forced into the harem of a rich man, and a cousin who was carried off by rampaging soldiers. So perhaps Mizuho did have reasons for wanting to exchange the body of a woman for the body of a machine.

Haruko seems to know a lot about other people's families' private matters, thought Kyuuzou. She was also the one who told Kyuuzou that his mother was born a samurai, and revealed to him his mother's family name. The young samurai always thought that his Sensei was too harsh in her judgment on Mizuho's choice. Just how different was Mizuho from Haruko who dressed as a man during her travels because it was 'safer that way'? Sensei never said anything about that. There was always a gaggle of village girls following after 'handsome Haru', and half of them remain undeterred even after learning she was really a woman. Haru was also the one who taught Kyuuzou to change his voice. She would drop her voice to a low register so she could pass for a man. Haruko trained Kyuuzou to develop a deeper speaking voice so that his 'masculinity' would not be 'challenged'; she said it was 'safer that way.'

Not that it mattered what anyone thought anymore. Once Mizuho converted to a mecha warrior, she had to transfer to a different regiment. Neither Ayame, Haruko nor Kyuuzou were present at the battle in which she was ... destroyed. Sometimes Kyuuzou still wondered if it would have made a difference even if they had been there. They were all mortals, beings of finite power. Of his three sisters, Mizuho was the one Kyuuzou liked the best, back in the day when he still knew how to 'like' people. Ayame was protective of him because of 'guilt', Haruko paid him attention for the sake of his mother, but Mizuho needed no reason to be kind to him. Why did it have to be her? But then she was not the first one to leave him...

Kyuuzou shook his head disgustedly to clear away the wave of self-pity. Mizuho died the way she wanted, in combat. She had always told him there were worse ways to die. It was just as well that she was no longer around. Kyuuzou was not sure if Mizuho would still like him if she had lived. She would have a fit if she knew what sort of establishment he worked for. Ayamaro she just might have barely tolerated, but Ukyo was another story... Kyuuzou was not sure how he managed to tolerate Ukyo either. Whenever the spoilt, ignorant brat declared how he hated mechanized samurai, Kyuuzou felt like slicing him to ribbons. But that would have gotten him fired, and a warrior needed to eat.

His two remaining sisters would probably not approve of his employment 'choice' either. But they too were not around to judge him. Haru stayed on Mount Keian to run Sensei's dojo. Ayame, having acquired a list of garment factory contacts from her textile merchant parents, went up north to start a job retraining-and-placement program for war veterans called "From Swords to Sewing Machines". Kyuuzou deliberately headed in a different direction - to Kougakyo, where he heard that wealthy merchants were hiring bodyguards.

The young samurai took no active measures to stay in touch with his two seniors. But he still felt obligated to reply to their letters once in a while. Ayame had sent Kyuuzou a care package by Turtle Express some months back - it contained a stylish long dress made by participants in the "From Swords to Sewing Machines" progam. With it was a letter offering to train Kyuuzou to be a seamstress if he moved to where Ayame lived. Kyuuzou liked the dress – he wore it everyday. Still, the scarlet samurai could not really see himself as a seamstress. Ayame also wanted him to introduce all the veterans he knew to her program. But Kyuuzou did not have much of a social circle; the only war veterans he had contact with all worked for Ayamaro. To pass them on to his sister would mean poaching from his employer. Whatever else one could say of Ayamaro, municipal employees during his administration had great health insurance - 100 percent prescription drug coverage, no copay needed. (Hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery, however, were not covered, much to Hyogo's disappointment.) And whatever else could be said of Kyuuzou, he was not beyond gratitude.

Kyuuzou was still carefully formulating a tactful response to Ayame's letter, because one wrong sentence could open the floodgates and bring on a tirade from her about "men and their foolish pride" and "have you noticed almost all the ronin are men, while most of the women veterans have already reintegrated?" (not that there were that many women veterans to start with, Kyuuzou wanted to say, but decided it was not a good idea to talk back to Ayame) and "just as well that you stupid men all starve to death or get yourselves killed in duels and then we women will take over the world and reproduce by cloning." Ayame's words could cut almost as sharply as her swords. As far as Kyuuzou knew, his sister wasn't on medication.

Over the course of the war, Third Sister's disposition had evolved from a near-constant state of irritability into a volcanic temperament given to occasional but vicious bouts of rage. Her conduct deteriorated even further after Mizuho died. It was almost as if Mizuho's restless, unhappy spirit had returned to rest with Ayame. Ayame was now carrying the rage and pain of two women, instead of just one. Kyuuzou suspected Third Sister started to relish killing, if only just to conquer the sense of powerlessness that came with loss. The red samurai sometimes feared her. Although the young man heard that she had calmed down somewhat after the war, he was still not keen on staying in touch. Even so, dealing with an explosive Ayame was still preferable to thinking of a sleazy Kanbei. Speaking of the letter, he would go write it right now.


	4. Turning Point

Retribution  
Chapter 4: Turning Point  
------------------------------------------

Author: Jun-I  
Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo, Hyogo/Soubei (implied)  
Synopsis: How Kyuuzou decided to join Kanbei.  
Warnings: See Chapter 1

Notes: About Hyogo's ex-boyfriend, I would assume their relationship was BEFORE the guy mechanized.

Disclaimers:  
- The opinions expressed by Kyuuzou or any other character are NOT intended to reflect the writer's opinions.  
- I do not own the seven samurai or any of the characters from Gonzo's S7. Am not writing this for profit, just for fun.

* * *

_Kyuuzou POV:_

Just as I expected, when I next saw Hyogo, he lost no time in mocking me about the nick on my neck that Kanbei had given me. Hyogo then declared he was going out to challenge Kanbei too. That was not a surprise either. Hyogo was one of the most competitive bitch queens I had ever met; he was always trying to outdo me and impress the boss. Quite willing to resort to backstabbing to further his career too. Good thing Ayamaro was far from a complete fool and could discern the true nature of things, or I'd have been done in by Hyogo's lies a long time ago.

I let Hyogo go his way. No point telling Hyogo that Kanbei had already promised himself to me! My colleague had no scruples. All he wanted was to prove he can succeed where I failed. Not that the garish queen who wore too much foundation and the wrong lipstick color stood a chance with Shimada Kanbei anyway.

But just to be sure, I followed Hyogo from a distance. He will NOT touch what is mine alone to kill! I shouldn't have worried anyway. As I predicted, Hyogo was no match for Kanbei. I could not resist silently cheering Shimada on while he kicked Hyogo's butt. Don't get me wrong though. I was only taking Kanbei's side temporarily cos' I liked Hyogo even less. But well, I had to admit that dark ronin is kind of attractive for an irritating ojisan. Actually ... I guess one could say that for an older guy, he is rather hot ... objectively speaking. Not that I care anyway.

Ran back to Ayamaro's place before Hyogo and gang returned. There was more drama waiting for us though. That same day, the visiting Imperial Envoy from the Capital was murdered right under my employer's roof! How bizarre! My employer went into a panic and ordered the arrest of all samurai within the city limits. My own suspicion was that the killer came from within our compound. With the strict security clearances it would have been near impossible for unauthorized personnel to gain access to Ayamaro's guest rooms. But I kept my mouth shut - if there was treachery within our ranks, people who suspected too much might be next in line for extermination.

Kanbei and his ronin gang were of course targets of this citywide sweep. The next day, we received word that they had apparently been eliminated. The vertical railway transport they were using to escape had been blown to bits the night before. My heart sank. Now my chance of ever knowing if Kanbei was the one seemed even more out of reach. But even if he was a closed case, I had already lost my peace. After the war, I had chosen to live with no thought for the past or for the future, but Kanbei's appearance forced me to remember Mother. What would she think if she saw me now? The life I'm living, and the people I spend my time with? Ayamaro was my first employer after the army. I wasn't too picky, I just wanted to get paid, but ... my sisters were now happily working at their stereotypically feminine 'make-the-world-a-better-place' professions while I was just drifting from day to day. But I did not want to have my sisters' jobs anyway. I did not know what I wanted.

I was in an ugly mood that day, so the ronin who crossed my path suffered for it. Hyogo and I were going about our work cleaning up the city streets when Ukyo interrupted us. As was his habit, the foppish wimp commandeered us for his own purposes, something that Ayamaro had explicitly told him not to do. Under normal circumstances this imposition would have annoyed me. I was wrapping up the day's work so I could get home early enough to watch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. But this time, I was willing to go along with Ukyo's plans. The mechanized samurai who interrupted my duel with Kanbei had been seen in the pleasure quarter, or so Ukyo said. If he was alive, it meant that the rest of his gang might have survived. Ukyo wanted to hunt down the robot and find the peasant girl. I, on the other hand, would love to locate Kanbei.

We tracked Kikuchiyo to the House of the Fireflies. Sure enough, we found the entire gang there, but they made their escape with the help of a new guy - some samurai called Shichiroji who could seriously use a makeover from the Fab Five. We chased them by boat into Shikimori territory, but had to turn back on Tessai's insistence. Well, at least I got to know Kanbei was still alive.

I returned to my quarters, and much to my annoyance, found another letter waiting for me. Was it Ayame again? I had not yet sent my reply to her earlier letter. I took a look at the sender's address and noted with relief that the letter was from Haruko, our Big Sister who almost never wrote, busy as she was with Sensei's dojo. I opened the letter and it turned out my relief was short-lived. Haruko was writing to tell me that Ayame, concerned by the months of silence following her letter to me, had done some investigation on my mailing address and found out that I was located in Ayamaro's compound. After the paranoid tendencies of women, she frightened herself with the ridiculous possibility that I had been kidnapped and forced into Ukyo's harem.

Ayame was going to come to Kougakyo to 'rescue' me, but fortunately thought it wise to run the idea by Haruko first. Haruko, being more sane, told her that it was more likely that I was working as a bodyguard, as I had said in a letter to them four years back. Still, Ayame said she was planning to come to 'rescue' me even if I was a bodyguard for Ayamaro, because it meant I had fallen in with a bad crowd that no self-respecting young woman should be hanging around.

Having read thus far, I was truly alarmed. Much as I was not entirely fond of Ayame, I had absolutely no desire that the lowlife Ukyo, or any of Ayamaro's men for that matter, should ever lay their eyes on my unfortunately not-too-ugly sister. Sure, Ayame could more than take care of herself, and she was probably a little too old and much too angry for Ukyo's tastes, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. If he could go for Kirara, he could go for anything! Now I had to do whatever it takes to prevent her from coming to Kougakyo, even if it meant giving up my employer's excellent medical benefits. How irritating!

I read on. Now that Haruko was done writing about Ayame, she moved on to me. "How can you hang out with the kind of creatures that Mizuho, Ayame and myself had risked our lives fighting?" Haruko was asking. Ah ha, after having withheld information from me all these years, Eldest Sister finally admitted to the nature of their clandestine activities. They knew I knew they went out to fight, but they never told me what they were fighting for. I did not know if her confession gave me any satisfaction now though. If I was really working for that pervert Ukyo, Haruko stated, then perhaps my mother had died to protect a life not worth saving. The words cut me more badly than swords ever could. Worse, I could not find any reason to disagree with Haru.

I dashed off a letter to Ayame and Haruko, telling them NOT to come to Kougakyo and NOT to worry about me. I was in the middle of a transition, I wrote, and moving on to something better. I would let them know more as soon as I was able, I said. Hopefully that would keep Ayame from coming to Kougakyo. I already had enough trouble on my hands at the moment.

I thought it unwise to use the office mailbox for this particular correspondence, so I went to the post office furthest away from Ayamaro's place to mail my letters. When I returned to my employer's compound, I learnt that Hyogo had gone with the Nobuseri to intercept Kanbei's band when they exit the Shikimori mountain. So typical of Hyogo to leave me out of the loop 'by accident' and go off on an operation without me. I headed out after him. But this time, I was no longer interested in competing with him for a better score on our annual performance review.

The Shikimori realm had many exits. I did not know exactly which one Hyogo was going to, but somehow I managed to turn up in the right place. It was almost as if I was able to sense and follow Kanbei's ki energy. Perhaps he is really that man from years back - the man I should be seeking for but never expected to find; there seemed to be no other explanation. I arrived not a moment too early - Kanbei was fighting a Raiden. Then the coward Hyogo intervened by using a cannon to disarm Kanbei. The Nobuseri closed in to finish the wounded samurai but I wasn't going to let it happen. That man and I have unfinished business.

I can be as much a bad ass bitch as my sisters if I want to be. I jumped on the Raiden and carved it up with a rapidity and precision that would have made my Sensei proud. As the incapacitated mecha went crashing down, I vaulted off the wreck and made sure I landed facing away from Kanbei so that I would not have to make eye contact with him. I was not in the mood to entertain flirtatious glances. And in case this guy got the wrong idea again, I had to ensure he knew where I stood. "I'm the only one who can kill you." I said to Kanbei. Hopefully that made it clear enough that we have a 'business-only' relationship.

Anyway, it seemed that Hyogo did not appreciate my nice handiwork, for he snarled and fired the cannon at me. I had timed the volley and would have dodged it easily, but that busybody Kanbei decided to come to my 'rescue' and intercept the shot with his katana. Just why is it that everyone thinks I need rescuing when I really don't?

Hyogo was working himself into a hissy fit and would have partied with us some more if his mechanized Nobuseri ex-boyfriend Soubei did not insist on leaving. That left just Kanbei and me for the moment. He turned to me. "I'm afraid you won't be able to go home to your friends," he said. Whatever. They were never my friends. I started walking away without a backward glance at him. I had no real plan as to what my next move would be. Now that I'd found Kanbei, I did not know how to get him to answer the questions I needed to ask; in fact, I was not even sure if he was the one with the answers.

In the meantime, the other samurai had gathered around us. Gorobei stepped in front of me but Kanbei told him to let me go. All the while I could sense Kanbei's smouldering gaze on my back. Does that man have nothing better to look at? I walked on, contemplating my next move, "Should I just follow him from a discreet distance until I figure out how to confirm if he is the man I saw 15 years ago? ..."


	5. Competition

Retribution  
Chapter 5: Competition  
---------------------------

Author: Jun-I  
Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo (later)  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

Note: Ayame is Kyuuzou's senpai (Sensei's senior student). She is three years older than him and is NOBODY's (or at least no man's) love interest. Kyuuzou called her 'goddess of speed' when he was a child (see companion fic Wolf Warriors). He doesn't like her, but he wouldn't mind being like her.

* * *

_Kyuuzou POV:_

I walked on into the desert, still contemplating how I should follow after Kanbei without giving him the impression I was interested in him. Without planning to, I had caught up with one of the Nobuseri who left Kanbei and me behind just a while ago. "Hmm... while I'm at it, I might as well take this one out." I thought. "It's been a long time since I've thrown one of those Ayame-style lightning-fast series of combination techniques."

I think I might have out-Ayame'd Ayame on this one. Seconds later, the Raiden lay before me in smoking ruins. It was a piece of cake.

Just then, a series of cannon balls flew past me. It was Hyogo again. Fortunately he had really bad aim. Then when he saw that I had noticed him, he began his little speech about how much better it would be for me to forget about Kanbei and return to Kougakyo. That hypocrite. First he tried to kill me, and failing that, started to talk peace. And while he was spinning his sugary words, the Yakans were closing in around me. They also brought the captive robot Kikuchiyo with them, all trussed up. Kanbei's gang must have been watching all this while; they decided to jump in to rescue their comrade at that very moment. They did a fair deal of damage on those tea kettles.

Suddenly faced with four highly skilled samurai and the loss of half of his tea kettle collection, Hyogo shifted gears. He offered me the chance to duel with Kanbei there and then, with him as the judge. If I won, I would be able to return to Ayamaro without consequences. If I was killed, Hyogo would kill Kanbei himself. I did not believe for one second he meant to keep his word. Kanbei didn't seem interested in Hyogo's game either; I saw him slide his sword back into its sheath.

The lying queen was just waiting for Kanbei and I to be occupied with each other. Then he would put a bullet through one of us. Don't think I did not noticed his gun trained on us while he was selling me this sweet deal. We had no choice but to play Hyogo's game. Kanbei and I looked at each other squarely in the eye. Was he thinking what I was thinking? As we moved our hands to our swords, I wondered if Hyogo's finger was on the trigger. My back was to Hyogo. Kanbei was the one who had a view of the cannon. If Hyogo pulled the trigger, would Shimada act in both our interests?

I would never know, for just then, I heard Hyogo's cannon go off. But neither Kanbei nor I were hit. There was no time to waste, however. I spun around and sliced up both the cannon and Hyogo. It was later that I realized Hyogo's shot was actually directed at the child samurai Katsushiro, who had attacked from behind to free Kikuchiyo. Even then, I was not sorry. I still think Hyogo had every intention of killing me first chance he got.

As I looked down at my dying ex-colleague, he asked, "Why, Kyuuzou?" I replied, "I want to try living a real life, for once." With his last breath, he called me a fool. So be it then. I once thought my sisters were fools. Perhaps they were. But they slept well at night and were proud to look themselves in the mirror every morning. Would it be so wrong for me to desire the same?

Kanbei turned to me and asked me if I would accompany him, I mean, them. Without even a glance at him, I asked, "When are we leaving?"

"Now," he replied. As he turned to leave, the peasant priestess pushed her way through the crowd and came up to him. "This person is an enemy!" she declared.

Such unprovoked rudeness! Having a conversation about me right in front of my face, without even looking at me. Her eyes were only on Kanbei. How annoying! If she pisses me off further I may have to bitch slap her all the way back to Kanna. Not the first time I've attracted hostility from random females I've only just met! For some odd reason, they seem to see me as 'competition' even when I have no interest in competing with them. But then if I could survive Ayame, this Kirara is really nothing.


	6. The New Girl

Retribution  
Chapter 6: The New 'Girl'  
-----------------------------

Author: Jun-I  
Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo (later)  
Synopsis: Kyuuzou's early training as a fighter recalled.  
Warnings: See Chapter 1

Disclaimers:  
- The opinions expressed by Kyuuzou or any other character are NOT intended to reflect the writer's opinions.  
- I do not own the seven samurai or any of the characters from Gonzo's S7. Am not writing this for profit, just for fun.

* * *

Flashback: 15 years earlier

Ayame jumped onto the large boulder and squinted as she peered down into the valley. A peasant girl of about 10 was making her way up the mountain path. The strange girl had overly thick, stubborn straw-colored hair which stuck out in all directions. Ayame proudly stroked her own dark hair, neatly dreaded into many slender locks. She studied the approaching stranger. The younger girl was carrying a traveling bag on her back, one 'real' sword and twin wooden swords. She also carried a dagger in her belt.

The younger girl came closer. Ayame saw that her weary face was streaked with dirt. "Sure as the sun rises, this girl cannot come close to matching my prettiness," Ayame confirmed her initial impression of the new arrival. The younger child was probably not very bright either, if she could not detect a watcher's presence. When the blond girl passed right under her rock, Ayame barked, "Hey you!"

Kyuuzou looked up, surprised. Until then, he had not noticed the sturdy girl standing on the rock above. The girl was darkly handsome and carried twin swords – one in her sword belt and the other across her back. Kyuuzou guessed she was probably about three years older than him.

He addressed her politely. "Older sister, is this the way to the house of Aikawa Sensei?"

The golden-eyed girl looked down at him, unsmiling. "And what business may you have with Aikawa Sensei?"

"I am Kyuuzou, daughter of Shizuka, who used to be a student of Aikawa Sensei. I would like to study with Aikawa Sensei, as my mother had done."

Ayame made no answer, but bounded away over the boulders. Kyuuzou gazed after the dark girl with some admiration. He wished he could move like that older girl, so lightly and so effortlessly. "That must be one of the Sensei's students," he thought. "I'll just follow her."

But he realized that she was already nowhere to be seen. He shrugged, and continued his slow ascent up the path. He reached a large house and was shown in by an even older girl with wavy hair and chestnut brown skin. She introduced herself as Mizuho. Mizuho had a warm, friendly face. Kyuuzou liked her already.

Mizuho led Kyuuzou past the training hall. He peered in and saw the golden-eyed girl he had met earlier. If the strange girl had been practicing her sword fighting a moment before, she probably stopped before Mizuho and Kyuuzou came into view. She was standing casually, swords sheathed, observing him with not-too-friendly eyes. "That's Ayame," Mizuho said. Kyuuzou gave Ayame his best friendly, submissive smile. He of course could not imagine that the older girl was at that moment mentally compiling a catalog of his physical imperfections – "irises too small, weak profile, crooked lower teeth, mismatch in size between upper and lower jaw" etc etc.

Mizuho led him to a sparsely decorated study. Inside, an old woman sat, reading a book. She was neither fat nor thin, tall nor short. On her right was a young woman, broad- shouldered with blue-black hair.

"That's Sensei," the girl said to Kyuuzou. "And the young woman is Haruko, our senior student. I'll go in and announce you." She left him kneeling by the door while she went ahead.

Mizuho came back out and ushered him into the room. Kyuuzou bowed before the old woman, while following Mizuho's departing figure out of the corner of his eye. He would have felt better if she had stayed. The old lady looked stern, but not cruel. What made him nervous was how she seemed to be reading him with her sharp eyes while remaining unreadable herself. "You are Shizuka's daughter, you say. How is your mother?"

"She... she passed away last month," he forced the words out as his vision clouded with the memory of the reed floor mat soaking up that ever-widening pool of blood. Kyuuzou heard a sharp intake of breath from the tall young woman. But if the old woman was saddened or surprised, she did not show it.

"My condolences to you, daughter," the Sensei said evenly.

"I wish to return my mother's sword to your keeping." Kyuuzou said, offering up Shizuka's sword with both hands.

"Only one sword?" Sensei asked. "Where is the other one?"

"It was stolen," Kyuuzou replied with downcast eyes.

Haruko received the sword from the child and brought it over to the old lady. Kyuuzou continued, "Mother told me before, if anything ever happened to her and Aunty, that I should come to look for you."

"You have an aunt?" the old lady inquired slowly.

"Aunty Rumi. She's my mother's friend. She lived with us. She was like a second mother to me."

The tall woman with the blue-black hair bent and spoke to the old sword mistress, "Sensei, Shizuka-san had mentioned Rumi-san to me. They were friends from their youth, before Shizuka-san joined the army."

"Where is your aunt?" The old lady asked the child.

"She is dead too." Kyuuzou bit his lip to stop the tears from forming in his eyes. This past month, every time he thought he had no tears left to cry, he would still surprise himself. But he never let the tears fall. His mother would not have wanted that. Shizuka's son does not cry.

"I see... How old are you?"

"10, I think. Mother said I looked about two when she and Aunt Rumi found me."

"Where did you come from?"

"I was found in Tamatani Village or what was left of it. I grew up in Shirase Village, over the West Mountains. That's where I came from."

"It is quite a long way for a child to travel alone."

"The neighbors were kind. They gave me food for the journey."

"Well, you can stay with us for a while," the old woman said slowly. "Do not expect to learn anything until you show yourself to be worth teaching. You will start with doing chores. You will bring water, fetch firewood, wash the laundry, and scrub the floors. If you can do that well, maybe we will teach you the use of the sword. If you misbehave, you will be asked to leave."

Kyuuzou prostrated himself. "I am in your debt."

Kyuuzou was determined to be the best house servant Sensei ever had. He worked diligently at his chores, and when he was done with the housework, he practiced his sword forms by himself. Unknown to him, the old sword mistress and Haruko observed him from afar. Another pair of eyes watched him with envy. Ayame knew raw talent when she saw it, and Kyuuzou had already been well-taught by the peerless Shizuka.

With Kyuuzou around, Ayame had fewer chores. But everyone was nice to Kyuuzou, because she was an orphan and the daughter of Shizuka. "What's the big deal about Shizuka anyway?" Ayame wondered. The girl did not know that woman. Haruko was the only student here who was old enough to have met Shizuka while Shizuka was still at Sensei's. Sensei wasn't training Kyuuzou yet, but Ayame had overheard Senior Student and Sensei discussing her 'great potential.' It would only be a matter of time before Kyuuzou joined them in the training hall.

Kyuuzou noticed very quickly that Ayame did not like him. Sometimes, right after he had drawn water from the well, she would happen to walk by and kick the bucket over 'by accident'. Or he would find dirt on freshly cleaned laundry and have to wash it again. He tolerated this and all the other tiny torments she needled him with for the chance of continuing with his training. Ayame was the closest to him in age among Sensei's three students, but it was just as well that she had no desire for his friendship. The more distance he could maintain from the girls, the less likely they were to find out that he was not what he claimed to be.

But Ayame was never one to give up, a trait that she could apply for both good and ill, as he was to find out time and again ...


	7. Catfight!

Retribution  
Chapter 7: Catfight!  
------------------------  
Author: Jun-I

Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo (later)  
Warnings: See Chapter 1

* * *

Shichiroji sighed. What was Kanbei thinking when he put him in the same group with Kirara and Kyuuzou? Being a catfight referee was not in his job description when he signed on for the Kanna Project. He'd be lucky if he got them to Kanna without the two tearing each other's hair out. It was going to be a long trip.

---

_Kyuuzou's POV:_

We had to split into three teams for the journey to Kanna. I swear that Kanbei gets a kick out of irritating other people, because he put Kirara and me in the same group. That girl would be nothing but trouble, I predicted. Shichijiro told me to walk slower and wait up for her. I ignored him. I'm not one to believe in being condescending to women. My sisters NEVER asked anyone to make things easier for them just because they were female. Kirara's legs are not that much shorter than mine. She could keep up.

The witch - I mean 'priestess' - put on a positive front and said that she needed no special consideration. But I swear she gave me an evil look. She even managed to overtake me by the time we got to the mountain path overlooking Kanna's neighboring village. Told you she had that competitive streak in her. Nearly killed herself trying to walk faster than me though. She was totally winded by then. Shichi asked her if she wanted to take a break. She turned and took one look at me, then immediately declared that she was fit to go on. Fine, suit yourself, lady.

Then she started having this conversation about me, but not addressed to me - within my earshot - again!!! How rude was that!? Shichiroji and Kirara were going on about why she didn't like me, and it was all because of Kanbei, and stuff like that. Why is she so obsessed with that man?

I would have frozen her with my best icy glare if not for the fact that we had more pressing concerns. I sensed something following us. Shichi felt it too. Someone was watching our movements. My suspicions were confirmed when a disc with a laser eye flew around the side of the mountain. I recognized it as a mecha of the Jumping Rabbit model.

Shichiroji asked me, "Ready to make a move?" My hands went to my sword hilts but Kirara restrained me. "Why are you doing this when you don't know if it is a friend or a foe?" she preached.

She insisted we continue our journey to the village and gave me a lecture on not taking lives needlessly. I had been so conditioned from childhood to submit to female authority that I allowed this inexperienced youngster to overrule my better judgment, something which I regretted almost instantly. How stupid was I to listen to a teenage girl whose good sense dictates that she should wear a scarf around her shoulders in the cold mountain air while keeping her belly exposed at the same time?

The three of us walked on for a while without incident, until we came to a fork in the road. Kirara said we could take either path. Then she stood there wasting precious seconds looking at her piece of tacky jewelry. Well, since she got to make the last decision, I thought I should get to make this one. I took the right fork without waiting for her to make up her mind. That annoyed her and she immediately started having this critical conversation about me with Shichi, concerning my alleged lack of communication skills and why she did not want to bring me to her village, blah blah. All this was going on while I was still within hearing distance.

I had no mood to argue with her though, for at that very moment I felt vibrations in the ground. "They're coming!" I warned my companions. Sure enough, a disc-like shell burrowed out of the earth in front of us. I cleaved it down the middle but it split into two Jumping Rabbits. Hideous creatures they are. How anyone wants to mechanize to become such a creature is beyond me.

I took one on, and Shichi took out the other one that was closing in behind me. I sliced off one of the mecha's arms and it retreated, flying away from me. Out of sheer luck or not, it landed on the rock behind which Kirara was hiding. All she did was stand there and stare while the robot fixed its big green eye on her. Had it been one of my sisters in her place, she would have wasted no time in punching the robot's eye out, or at least led her opponent in a game of hide and seek around the rock. But I guess the witch is not like my sisters.

Since Kirara was not doing anything to help herself, I rushed over and cut the creature's legs off from under it. The thing began to fall – in Kirara's direction. Again, if one of my sisters had been in her place, she would have simply moved out of the way. But Kirara just stood and stared. She finally decided to scream and throw her hands over her face mere seconds before the thing would have flattened her. Like that would have helped. By now my patience was wearing pretty thin.

It was up to me again. I dove in and took the robot's head off with an upper cut, sweeping the metallic carcass out of her way. But the fallen head shot a laser beam at me, searing my left sleeve. I put my sword through the metallic head. Take that for making a hole in my favorite dress!!! Then I realized my left arm was bleeding.

Meanwhile, Shichi had finished off the rest of the attackers and was heading over to us. "I knew something like this might happen. That was why I wanted to make the first move back there," I said to no one in particular. I finally had the satisfaction of seeing a guilty look on the face of that know-it-all Kirara. Shichi, however, made no effort to back me up. I was a little miffed. As before, he was on her side. I was beginning to realize that Shichiroji was the sort of fellow who ingratiates himself with women by always taking the lady's side in a disagreement, no matter who was really right. He was discriminating against me because I don't have boobs.

A "thank you" from Kirara would have been nice too, but it wasn't forthcoming. Irritated at both my companions, I walked on ahead. After a long period of silence, Kirara finally spoke, "Kyuuzou-sama, why do you want to defeat Kanbei?"

So, it's about that man again? I owed that woman no explanation. Besides, the reason was so multi-layered and complicated that I couldn't explain it to a stranger even if I wanted to. So I just said, "It's because we are samurai."

She said no more to me after that, until we got to the winged rock. We were the first party to reach the meeting place, so there was nothing to do except to sit and wait for the rest.


	8. Conciliation

Synopsis: Kyuuzou's perspectives on the end of the journey; Kyuuzou's childhood experiences recalled. Anyone too attached to Kyuuzou's masculinity should NOT read further.

Warning: implied self-mutilation. Again, anyone too attached to Kyuzo's manhood should NOT read further.

_

* * *

Kyuuzou's POV:_

We were the first party to reach the meeting place, so there was nothing to do except sit and wait for the rest. Then Kirara said to me, "Pretty dress you have. Where did you get it?" A desperate attempt at conversation, but still, it was better than listening to her talk about Kanbei.

"It was a gift," I replied coldly.

"I'm sorry it was torn in the fight," she said. Perhaps this is the closest she will ever get to apologizing for overriding my judgment and getting us into trouble.

"Believe me, I am more sorry than you are," I responded. "Do you happen to have a sewing kit?"

"Yes I do," she hesitated. "But if it is alright with you, Kyuuzou-dono, let me sew up the torn sleeve."

Well, well. Now she was talking.

I was content to sit by in silence while she did the sewing. But I think the girl liked to chat… about rather personal topics. After Shichi had gone off somewhere to find a restroom, Kirara broke the silence. "You're different from other men, aren't you? Kyuuzou-dono."

"Is it that obvious from the way I look?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

"It's not by sight that I know," she said, "A water priestess can feel the ki of other people. You have a colder energy, different from a man's and yet not exactly like a woman's. You're special. Maybe that is why Kanbei-sama looks at you differently."

Oh, so it's back to that man again. Kanbei looks at me differently? I don't know about that. But I have noticed that she looks at him differently. I chose not to point that out though. Instead I said, "About me being … different. Can you not mention that to anyone else?"

"Of course," she replied, "I am in your debt. Thank you for saving me when I was in danger." She handed me the patched dress with both hands.

"You're welcome," I said as I put my dress back on.

---

_Flashback: 15 years earlier_

Kyuuzou had not yet been at Aikawa Sensei's for three months before his secret was out. One morning, Ayame and Mizuho marched up to the sword mistress and Haruko, dragging the unfortunate Kyuuzou between them.

"We caught him when he was taking a bath! Now we know why he only washes when no one is around. He's really a boy!" Ayame declared as she threw the boy down on the mat in front of Sensei. Kyuuzou did not dare to look up at the girls. Ayame's gloating expression was disturbing enough, but what he feared even more was the look of shock and betrayal on Mizuho's face.

"See, he isn't even a real girl!" Ayame tried to flip open Kyuuzou's yukata to prove her assertion, but Kyuuzou pulled his clothes even more tightly around him, almost in tears.

"Is he really even Shizuka's child?" the girl sneered. "If he lied about being a girl, what else could he have lied about?"

Kyuuzou broke away from the two girls and prostrated himself at the Sensei's feet. "I'll be good! I'll work hard! I'll cook and clean! Only let me stay and learn!"

The old woman fixed her gaze on him with an expression that was close to disappointment. "The fact that you lied to us about being a girl has voided your initial acceptance."

"Forgive me!" Kyuuzou cried. "Mother told me about you before she passed. I just wanted to…"

"We have our traditions. We don't teach boys. There are many other places where boys can learn to be fighters," Sensei said impassively. "I'm sure you can find a better teacher somewhere else."

Then she turned to Haruko. "Pack his things and show him to the gate."

Kyuuzou knew the discussion was over. But he beat his head on the floor and begged. "Please, please! You have to teach me so I can avenge Mother!"

Sensei looked down at him with a pitying gaze. "All the more you can't stay. I don't accept pupils who follow the way of vengeance and hate."

Haruko came over and took him by the arm, but Kyuuzou refused to rise. The child wept, "Please let me stay! I'll do whatever you want! I'll be a girl if it means I can stay!"

Ayame barked, "You want to be a girl? That can be easily arranged." A sharp clink told him that her sword had already shifted an inch out of its scabbard. Sensei stopped the girl with a stern stare. Ayame's blade slid back into its sheath as she sighed disappointedly.

Haruko grabbed Kyuuzou's arm firmly and yanked him to his feet. Minutes later, Kyuuzou found himself unceremoniously dumped outside the dojo with his meager belongings. It was already autumn. Kyuuzou knelt among the fallen maple leaves as Heaven and Earth seemed to spin around him. Where would he go? Mother's head and body lay in two different places. Aunty was gone. His first parents were also dead – two of the charred corpses in that burnt farming village.

One of the last things that Mother had said to him was, "We have only six more years to go together, we can make them six miserable years, or we can make them six good years." But that haughty, cold young samurai wouldn't grant them even six miserable years…

Mother's words came back to him again, "If only you were a daughter, then you would not be so difficult…" He remembered the look on Mizu's face when she found out that he was a boy. Then he recalled Ayame's ringing threat, "You want to be a girl? That can be easily arranged…"

The child resolutely unsheathed his dagger. He had helped peasants do the operation on pigs and cattle before. It was really quite simple. Kyuuzou took a deep breath as he said to himself, "Shizuka's son does not flinch from pain."

--

Ayame was sweeping leaves in the courtyard. It was a good day. She was finally rid of the aggravating newcomer. Everybody who studied with Sensei had to pay tuition, but that Kyuuzou would get a free education because Sensei and Haru thought he was the orphaned 'daughter' of the beloved Shizuka, until now. Finally, the truth was out, and Kyuuzou could go back to wherever he came from. Her triumphant train of thought was punctured by a long, almost animal-like wail of pain coming from just outside the dojo. Ayame dashed out of the gate and saw Kyuuzou collapsed under the maple tree. She ran up to him.

--

In the training hall, the sword mistress watched as Haruko went through her sword forms. As Haruko finished the last form and bowed to her teacher, the old woman said, "You don't have your usual focus today. Whatever is on your mind, you have to put it aside when you have a sword in your hand."

The senior student turned to her teacher. "Sensei, if I might be so bold as to say, I feel bad about sending Shizuka's child away. He probably has nowhere else to go."

Haruko never knew what Sensei's response would have been, for they were interrupted by a series of loud shrieks coming from outside. "I'll go and see what's wrong!" Haruko said as she darted out of the training hall.

The woman ran out of the gate and saw Ayame standing over Kyuuzou under the maple tree and shrieking loudly. Kyuuzou was lying on the ground in a dead faint. There was blood on his clothes. Ayame was holding Kyuuzou's dagger. "You -" Haruko began as she rushed up to Ayame.

"I didn't do it!" the girl turned at the sound of the woman's voice. "I found him like this!" Panic was written all over Ayame's face.

Mizuho, meanwhile, had arrived, and was peering down at Kyuuzou over her sisters' shoulders. A look of horror crossed her face as the scene registered with her. Haruko gathered up the bleeding, unconscious child in her arms and carried him back towards the house. Ayame stood gaping after them, still in shock. Then she caught Mizuho's accusing stare. "Perhaps you should learn when to keep your mouth shut," the wavy haired maiden said to the youngest girl. Then Mizuho picked up Kyuuzou's travel bag and followed after the senior student.

* * *

Author's Comment:

The self-mutilation aspect is partly inspired by the Chinese martial arts novel/movie Xiao Ao Jiang Hu in which the villainous super-warrior (another androgynous, mysterious and silent killer like Kyuuzou) neuters himself to reach the next level in his quest for greater skill - the level of martial arts beyond the merely physical, the level of k, which requires the mental concentration and focus of energy that non-celibate men do not have. Thus, it is said that the best ki masters are women – regardless of lifestyle – and celibate men. Not proven by fact, just a fictional stereotype, I believe. But even this belief had its roots in the theory of energy centers – chakras.


	9. Spirits of the Fallen

Retribution  
Chapter 9: Spirits of the Fallen  
-------------------------------------

Author: Jun-I  
Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo (later)  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

Synopsis: Kanbei's perspective on Katsushiro's first kill (not first person). How Kanbei got his scar.

Note: The flashback portion happened when Kanbei was 25, so his aide at that time couldn't have been Shichiroji, who, in this fic, is 10 years younger. In the timeline of the Retribution universe, Shichiroji would become Kanbei's aide 2 years later. (In companion fic Wolf Warriors, 17 year old Shichiroji appears with 27 year old Kambei)

* * *

_Kyuuzou's POV:_

We finally arrived at the village, but there was no welcoming committee. Turned out that half the villagers were having second thoughts about hiring us. Kikuchiyo managed to convince them to commit, using his unique PR tactics. I guess having the annoying robot around does have its benefits after all.

The samurai got ready to retire for the night. I did not want to sleep in the same room with a bunch of stinky guys who probably snore, so I decided to find myself a nice quiet spot in the forest. Came across that fellow Manzou, the one who had been whining the loudest about the disadvantages of hiring samurai. He was sneaking around in the forest when I snuck up on him. He said he was going to check the fields. I thought not. Gave him a little demo of what could happen to him if I ever had reason to believe he was going over to the Nobuseri.

Next morning, Kanbei assigned us our duties. Told me to train all the men of the village in archery. Why not the women too? Peasant women are strong; they would not have much difficulty drawing a bow. I did not see the harm in having more trained archers but this was not the time and place to challenge Shimada Kanbei's opinions. It's all about giving a leader 'face' in public. Just who exactly voted him in as leader of the group anyway? That sexist bastard. If my sisters were here they would have gladly kicked his butt. But I let the matter slide.

The next few days were a flurry of activity. Everyone fell into the rhythm of their assigned duties. There was a degree of 'normalcy' (well, about as much 'normalcy' as one could get when preparing for a siege) until the night Katsushiro killed the Nobuseri who was meeting with Manzou. Just as I thought, Manzou was a traitor.

_End Kyuuzou POV_

* * *

As Katsushiro sat staring at the dead bandit in shock, Kanbei strode over and backhanded the boy in the face. The child wanted a taste of the samurai life, and now that he had it, he could not stomach it. The war veteran felt almost disgusted at the boy's naiveté. One should not choose the way of the sword lightly, for the sword has a way of following you even when you wish to leave it behind. Shimada should know. He had seen it happen before.

But of course the child could not know all this. "The foolish boy and his romantic fantasies!" Kanbei thought. "He actually thought that being a samurai was the same as being a saint! Did he think that killing would be 'heroic' and 'righteous'? For the rest of his life, he will remember the face of the first person he killed."

They say the first kill is the one you remember the most vividly. For Shimada Kanbei that had not been the case. The one killing that haunted his memory the most was not his first, but it was far from his last. It was a fair duel. Yet somehow it did not feel 'honorable'. Sometimes he asked himself if he would have done things differently if allowed to choose again. The answer was always 'No.'

* * *

_Flashback: 15 years earlier_

Blood was flowing quite freely from the long gash across his chest. The young Shimada knew the wound was not too deep. He could still stand. She, however, was no longer standing. The duel was over. He hoped she felt no pain. The military man had done the right thing by his code of honor and yet he felt doubt. All his previous bold words were intended to hide from his soldiers the inner turmoil raging within him.

His aide stepped up. "Sir, are you well? Should I get the medics?"

The young officer raised his hand as if to dismiss the aide's suggestion. Kanbei knew he needed to stop the bleeding. He was starting to feel a little faint. But he was not quite finished yet.

Shimada Kanbei sensed a pair of eyes, burning with malice, fixed on him. He frowned and looked around warily. There was no one else in the room besides himself, his men, and the two dead women. The samurai thought that the odd sensation of being watched must have come from his own frazzled nerves, or perhaps the disembodied spirit of his slain cousin was standing there watching him. More than before, he understood what seasoned warriors meant when they say, "Whenever you kill someone, another fallen spirit clings to you." Ghosts of nameless strangers were one thing, but the restless spirit of a kinswoman was another matter.

The aide stared at the redness oozing through the fabric of his commander's uniform. But seeing that the stern Shimada was not about to accept immediate care, he added, "In addition to her head and her sword, we should take her hand back to HQ, sir."

Kanbei turned and glared at the man darkly even as he felt the crimson warmness soak his clothes rather uncomfortably. The aide turned pale and added quickly, "To stop the tongues of those who might claim you couldn't bear to execute your own cousin, so you killed another woman and brought back her head instead."

Kanbei knew his subordinate was probably right. Shizuka had 'disappeared' from the army shortly before Kanbei enlisted. The place was abuzz with gossip about the reasons for the older Shimada's departure. Kanbei noticed how the mess hall would suddenly grow quiet when he entered. How officers gave him strange looks, and how he was not promoted as quickly as his peers. Shizuka had tainted the Shimada name, a taint that time could not erase. When the news came after nine years that her whereabouts had been traced to a remote highland village, Shimada Kanbei was ordered to bring Shizuka to justice. It was his chance to clear his family name, and also to prove that he was not like her. The younger Shimada had no choice. The matter was bigger than the both of them. There was no way out for either the hunter or the hunted.

The young samurai knelt down beside the fallen woman and took her left hand – the hand with six-petal flower tattoo just like his own. Better that he do the deed than let a stranger do it. He brought his sword down. It was a nice, clean stroke. Then he collapsed.

* * *

As Kanbei lay on the stretcher, distantly aware of the medics fussing over him and the concerned faces of his men, there came unbidden to his mind the memory of that warrior maiden, tall, dark and strong, who crossed toy swords with him when he was a child of five. There was a time when he wanted to grow up to become a famously strong samurai like his cousin Shizuka. Now he knew that he had surpassed her. But did that knowledge make him happy?

Just before he passed into unconsciousness, strange thoughts drifted into the young samurai's mind: his kinswoman was a double-sword fighter. But just now she was carrying only one katana. When she had drawn her sword to fight him, the blade was clean. She must have used her other katana to cut down his men. He had not seen another sword in that room. Where was it?

The younger Shimada lived on to kill many other people. Standing on the battlefield amidst the corpses of both friends and foes, it was not too difficult for Shimada Kanbei to banish the deaths of two insignificant women from his mind. But were their deaths really that insignificant? It was as if a shadow had come over his soul. Over the next two years, the battles he won, the deeds of valor he performed, the praise of his superiors and the love of his subordinates could not erase that strange unease inside.

The young officer did not know why he would feel this vague guilt. He did the right thing. In the military, there was no place for individualistic soldiers who think they can come and go as they please. Kanbei had no patience for those not strong enough to finish what they started. He had no sympathy for selfish samurai who did not consider how their actions shamed their family and clan. And he certainly had no mercy for dishonorable deserters.

So the officer decided that he would stop being so 'immature' and put the matter of his kinswoman's desertion and execution behind him. There was no need to feel guilt because he was not guilty. A true man could master his thoughts and emotions. From that time on, that particular memory no longer had the power to affect him. Or did it? He did not know when it was that he decided the battlefield was not the place for women. He did not use to think so when he was younger. The dark samurai became even more firm in this belief when he heard that a female officer on the other side had been executed for insubordination – she refused to carry out an order to 'punish' a village which had failed to meet its rice quota.

Then Kanbei heard of a pilot on his own side who was shot down after her comrades failed to cover her in battle. The rumor was that she had reported abuses against civilians earlier. Another samurai woman on the other side declared the civil war a 'dishonorable war' and refused to re-deploy, or so it was said. Again, the offender was promptly made an example of and put to death.

So it seemed that Shizuka was not the only samurai woman who refused to obey and toe the line. The problem was that women, more often than men, allowed their emotions to dictate their choices, or so thought Kanbei. In a time of war, one could not afford to feel too much.

Life went on. More battles were won. Yet more lost. Now as the former commander stepped into middle age, he felt like a dead man walking. After half a lifetime at war, the seasoned veteran realized he had never truly known life and love in their fullness – they were always possibilities just beyond his reach, mirages that disappeared when he reached for them. Was this his reward for killing someone for daring to seize those very things? That nagging idea skirted the edge of his consciousness but he dismissed it as a meaningless notion. The product of 'immaturity' and worthless sentimentality.

* * *

Note: My theory for the flower tattoo is AU. In the canon universe, it was a military thing, not a family thing. 


	10. From Peasant to Warrior

Retribution  
Chapter 10: From Peasant to Warrior  
----------------------------------------

Author: Jun-I  
Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo (later)  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

Synopsis: Kyuuzou's perspective on Kikuchiyo's peasant status, Kyuuzou's childhood before S7.

* * *

_Kyuuzou POV:_

There was a big commotion as Heihachi dragged the traitor Manzou to the village square. Manzou was whining about the potential destruction of his home and fields, crying that we samurai were no different from the bandits. Some of the villagers were in agreement with him. Too many. Heihachi wanted to execute Manzou right away. Shichiroji said we should wait for Kanbei. I seconded Heihachi's opinion. But Shichi restrained Hei. So we were stuck in a deadlock until Kanbei showed up. Not that Kanbei got to be of any use in the matter, for Kikuchiyo arrived mere seconds later and stole the whole show. He first pointed out the two-faced and manipulative behavior of the peasants. Then he blamed us samurai for creating the very situations that force the peasants to develop the despicable behavior that we now take issue with. We were speechless. Then Kanbei stepped forward and asked, "Kikuchiyo, were you born a peasant?"

Oh, it was as clear as the day. I wonder why we did not see it earlier. Others may despise the peasant for changing his body so that he could elevate his status. But I did not. I too had changed myself so that I could gain access to privilege previously denied to me. As did my second sister Mizuho.

Then again, would my fellow samurai have guessed that besides Kikuchiyo, there was another peasant among them? I don't think even Kiku could guess. My tan had long faded. I had long tried not to remember the time I spent as a peasant, but it was not quite possible to forget…

* * *

_Flashback: 15 years earlier_

Kyuuzou bent over the rice stalks. He had to do more farm chores after school ever since Aunt Rumi became sick and bedridden. Mother had said it had to do with exposure to chemical warfare agents. As to the how and the why of the matter, she did not tell Kyuuzou. Now Aunty spent most of her time in her bedroom. Kyuuzou still went to visit the gentle black-skinned woman everyday. He noticed Rumi kept a dagger under her pillow. She called it "a woman's last resort." The child did not understand what she meant.

Out of the corner of his eye Kyuuzou saw his schoolteacher come up to the door of his house. Mother answered the door. The child returned his attention to planting the rice. He could already guess what the teacher was talking to Mother about.

Not too long later, the peasant boy heard approaching footsteps. It was Mother. He knew her step. An odd sight Mother was, a peasant woman always carrying two swords. The villagers laughed at her. More than once, Kyuuzou had implored her to not carry them just so that she could look like other women for a change, but Mother always said, "A woman must always be ready to defend herself. Such is the state of our world. But perhaps you, my child, will live to see better times."

The child knew his mother was standing right behind him but he pretended not to notice. The woman spoke. "I am not going to teach you more of the combat arts until you prove you will not abuse what I've already taught you."

Kyuuzou did not answer. His mother continued, "I did not teach you to fight so that you could fight for the sake of fighting."

No, he was not fighting for the sake of fighting. But how could he explain that the village children mocked her and Aunty behind their backs? Said they were bad women with no husbands; women who stole other people's children because they couldn't have their own. Said they were samurai who had to be peasants because they did something shameful and had fled from their clans. On top of that, his classmates had taunted him, calling the crimson-eyed boy "Kyuuzou-with-the-four-grandmothers." But Kyuuzou kept his silence and never told Aunt or Mother.

The woman sighed at the child's silent defiance. "If only you were a daughter. Then maybe you would not be so difficult. Maybe you would not fight for no reason."

Kyuuzou finally stood up and faced his mother. "If you wanted a daughter, then WHY did you pick me up when you found me in that destroyed peasant village? Better that you left me there to die!" he spat. The child turned sharply so that the woman could not see the tears that were starting to sting his eyes. He started walking briskly back to the house. When Mother was harsh, he could always count on Aunty for some sympathy.

Shizuka was already regretting her earlier words. But well, since when did a mother apologize to her child? "Come back here! Right now!" she commanded. Kyuuzou stopped moving. His mother was not someone to be argued with. But he would not turn around and face her, at least not until he had forced his tears away. She would berate him for crying. "I'll run away!" the 10-year-old said sullenly.

"When you are sixteen you can go find your own way in the world, but until then, you will stay here and listen to me, as a child should. We have only six more years to go together, we can make them six miserable years, or we can make them six good years. So it is in your interest to change your attitude." The voice behind him was calm. Sometimes Mother was so practical and rational it was almost annoying.

Kyuuzou racked his brains for a clever retort, but just then, he heard a strange humming sound overhead. He looked up and saw a military aircraft flying in the direction of their house. Then he looked to Shizuka. Mother had turned paler than he had ever seen her. She took one of the swords she was wearing and threw it over to Kyuuzou. "Hurry! Go in by the back door!" she ordered as the child deftly caught the sword in his hands, "Find your aunt and leave the house! I will enter from the front gate. If I do not catch up with you, do not wait for me!"

Kyuuzou raced towards their home, clutching the sword tightly. The plane had landed next to the farmhouse. He saw soldiers entering the front gate. No! He must get to Aunty first. He ran around to the back entry. It was clear. He dashed up the stairs and down the corridor to his aunt's room. There he saw her. He was too late! The dark, silver-haired woman had fallen on her side and was lying motionless in a pool of blood. Her right hand was still closed around the hilt of the dagger buried in her gut. Four soldiers stood over her.

Kyuuzou's hair stood up on end and he felt as if his heart had stopped beating. Without thinking, the child threw himself upon the intruders. Despite his small size, he had the advantage of surprise. He attacked the nearest soldier whose back was to him, slitting the man's throat while preventing his opponent from drawing by pushing the soldier's sword back into its sheath. Before the first man had hit the ground, Kyuuzou was onto the other three. It seemed that everything that his mother taught him fell into place without him needing to think about it. He heard a blood curdling battle yell, then he realized it had come from himself. The child looked down. Four dead men lay at his feet. It was the first time he had killed.

Mother climbed in through a window and took everything in with a glance. The color drained from her face when she saw Aunt's fallen form. But there was no time to weep. Footsteps echoed down the hall. The dark woman pushed Kyuuzou into the closet, slid the door shut, and hissed, "Whatever happens, don't make a sound. And don't come out!" Then she turned to face her pursuers.

The child peeped through the small hole in the paper screen of the closet door. A tall young officer strode into the room, followed by more samurai. The officer was quite handsome, with the same warm brown skin tone as his mother and the same dark hair. Kyuuzou thought the stranger looked more like his mother than he did.

When the officer saw the fallen bodies of his men, his eyes narrowed. "You have really changed. The Major Shimada I knew would rather die than raise her sword against her comrades."

Mother said nothing. The striking young samurai continued speaking as he assessed the damage done to the fallen men, "Then I see that this is not the only thing that has changed. Your technique has become sloppy. You used to do a much cleaner job, or so I've heard."

"I have been out of training." Mother replied humbly. Kyuuzou thought of rushing out of the closet to tell the samurai that his mother did not kill those four men, that he did. But he could not move. He was frozen with fear.

"Let's end it here, between you and me alone." The dark young samurai said, "I don't desire that any more of my men should die. You do understand that I have orders to bring back the head of our highest ranking deserter. You can do me the favor of handing it over yourself, or I can take it from you."

Mother did not respond. The man's hand moved to his sword hilt, "I would prefer the latter though. I've always wanted to fight a legend."

"Please, cousin," Kyuuzou's mother finally spoke. "No matter who wins this duel, we will both be losers."

"Do NOT speak of our kinship." The young man said severely. "You were no longer part of our family the day you made the choice to desert and flee with an enemy officer. You have shamed us beyond measure."

"I know you have to do your duty," Shizuka replied calmly, "but before you kill me, there is something I have to finish no matter what."

He regarded her coolly. "And what may that be?"

"Something that will take another six years," the tall woman pleaded. "If you could excuse me, please let me live until then."

Kyuuzou had never heard his mother beg until that day. But the young man was unmoved. He said only one word, "Draw."

* * *

For years after, Kyuuzou tried to banish the memories of what happened next. He stumbled out of the closet long after the soldiers had left only to be hit by the sickening smell of stale blood – the blood of the soldiers he had killed, the blood of his dead aunt, and the blood of the killer mixed with the blood of Mother. The child fell to his knees and found himself gazing into his aunt's eyes – the same blue eyes that had once looked upon him fondly were now staring vacantly at Death. Then the child raised his head and saw the mocking sight of his mother's headless, handless body.

Everything before Kyuuzou's eyes turned red. Then the peasant boy fell to the bloody floor in a dead faint.

Later, he would blame himself for everything. He should have been quick enough to save Aunt. He should have rushed out of the closet to save Mother. But would that have changed anything? Haruko said it would be a wasted move. That young officer would have killed them both. Shizuka would not have wanted that. At least Kyuuzou was still alive. He could always seek vengeance later. But then, Big Sister was probably saying those words just to console him. Kyuuzou alone had to live the rest of his life with the knowledge that he let his mother take the blame for his deeds, and then stood by as she was cut into pieces.

The orphan grew into the silent warrior whom others called a heartless killer. Perhaps they were right, he thought. The young fighter's heart had died a long time ago. Cut into a hundred pieces by the sword of that dark samurai.

Kyuuzou hated that man. But he despised himself even more.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

I was not drawing from any world inspirations for this chapter, but after I wrote it, I remembered I did read an interview of a Cambodian refugee who had the bad luck to be twice orphaned. His first parents were killed during the Khmer Rouge regime. New parents adopted him as their own. He came to love his second family very much, then they were also killed. Talk about double misfortune! Needless to say, the man was devastated. When he grew up and got married, he had a big family. He said in a way it made up for the ones he lost, if I remember the details of the interview correctly.


	11. Attack!

Retribution  
Chapter 11: Attack!  
-------------------  
Author: Jun-I

Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

Synopsis: Kyuuzou's point of view on the battle for Kanna. Kanbei thinks of Kyuzo.

Acknowledgment: Thx for elfjune for identifying the giant mecha that Q killed in the base as Soubei.

* * *

_Kyuuzou's POV_

I was training the archers in the village when I felt the tremors in the ground. The Nobuseri were launching their first attack. Seconds later, Gorobei sounded his alarm. Chickens and humans started running around in panic. Kanbei ordered all the women to be taken to the priestess's house to hide. Yup, there he goes again, under-utilizing half of our potential defense force. I don't know why the village head says Shimada Kanbei is so good at human resource management. But of course, there was no time to argue with Kanbei. Not that he'd listen anyway. We took our positions, and I noted with some glee that a hefty peasant woman had ignored Kanbei's orders and taken up position with Hei's team on the wall. You go girl!!!

There were more Nobuseri than we expected. But Hei's giant bow took out one of the Nobuseri's floating bases. And my archers held their ground against the Yakans. We successfully repelled the first assault but our work was not yet done. Gorobei and Kanbei had come up with the idea of infiltrating the remaining Nobuseri mothership by turning Gorobei, Katsushiro and myself in as captives. After we entered the ship, I got to cross swords with a few former business associates. I sent Soubei on his way to meet Hyogo in the next world. I guess there are no more mecha and humans - just disembodied spirits - in the afterlife, so Hyogo and Soubei can choose to resume their old relationship or whatever it is they want to do.

Slicing metal was a good workout. I needed the adrenaline rush, especially since I had given up my antidepressants. (Kanna Village did not even have a health insurance plan for employees. And even if they did, we samurai were considered contractors and thus not entitled to benefits.)

We trashed the place and were ready to leave. Shichi and Kiku held the log bridge between the ship and the mountain while I led the way out. But Kanbei was still dilly dallying behind, chatting with the Nobuseri, keeping poor Shichi and Kiku waiting. That man needs to learn to be more considerate. Then he got out just seconds before the ship crashed down the mountainside, leaving Kiku and Shichi barely enough time to escape. Those two were lucky to have gotten a foothold on the cliff face.

The eight of us managed to climb up to a ledge where there was more standing room. Kanbei reached down to help Kirara up, but she refused his hand. (She's been acting touchy around him lately). Then she started fussing over the bandage on his arm. Not that there was time for that sort of thing; a couple of Jumping Rabbits flew up the mountain side and attacked us. Shichi and Hei got to work on them. Then a few tea kettles sprung up. Kirara immediately hid behind Kanbei. That woman needs to invest in her own sword!!!

We had to fight off the mecha warriors. Kanbei was holding on to Kirara's hand all the while, keeping her out of harm's way. The sight annoyed me. The girl could be more of a help than a liability if only she had some proper training. I would train Kirara myself if it meant that she wouldn't need to be treated like a piece of baggage that we have to lug around. Not that Kanbei seemed to mind doing the lugging.

There were no more enemies left standing but the party was not over yet. Kiku kicked the last Yakan over the edge and was instantly hit by a gunshot from below. So there were more Nobuseri down in the misty chasm. We all dropped to the ground. Of course Kirara's reflexes weren't fast enough so Kanbei had to pull her down with him. I was so tired of watching this. I was beginning to suspect that Kirara was not as useless as she appeared to be. She was probably acting that way only around Kanbei.

When Shimada asked for a scout to go check out what our enemies were doing below, Katsu volunteered. As the saying goes, a newborn ox calf does not fear the tiger. I told that kid he'd get himself killed. I got up and walked to the edge. Kanbei looked up at me. He STILL had his hand on Kirara's shoulder. Was that really NECESSARY?

Some men just need to have a woman cowering behind them in order to feel good about themselves. But I am not one of these men. Had never been. Will never be. As for Kirara, she should stick to boys her own age! And how many men does she need anyway? Is it too much to ask her to leave the older guy for me? To kill, I mean.

I controlled my rising blood pressure with some mental effort. I did not give up Ayamaro's great health insurance so I could come here and watch people flirt. I smirked down at Kanbei. Be assured that I was not volunteering to be the scout out of the kindness of my heart. I was simply sick of this 'group dynamic' and could use some 'alone' time.

_End Kyuzo POV_

* * *

Kanbei looked at up Kyuuzou gravely when the crimson warrior volunteered for the risky mission. Kirara could not understand why the practical leader would seem so concerned – Kyuuzou was undoubtedly the best choice for the mission. As the priestess and the six samurai watched Kyuuzou skid down the cliff face and disappear into the mist, she heard Kanbei say to no one in particular, "He will surely return."

Kirara looked questioningly at the tall samurai beside her. She wanted to tell him that with Kyuuzou-dono's skills there was nothing to worry about. But she held her tongue. The water priestess had a vague feeling that the usually rational commander's concern for Kyuuzou was more rooted in emotion than in reason.

"He will come back to settle things with me," Kanbei was still gazing in the direction in which Kyuuzou had gone. Kirara felt a stab of pain in her heart. Her suspicions were confirmed. But did it matter? She knew she could never aspire to his love. And now she knew that she was not the only one who longed for someone in vain.

"For someone like him, the fog may actually be a help rather than a hindrance." Kanbei spoke quietly, as if trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

* * *

_Kyuzo POV_

The scouting mission took me a little more than a day. When I scaled the cliffs up to Kanna the next evening, Kanbei, Shichi, Katsu and Hei were waiting behind the barricade. I jumped down from the barricade, so that I stood facing Heihachi but had my back to Kanbei. I still did not feel like looking at that ojisan's face. For Heihachi however, I brought a present - a cannon I took from the Raiden I killed.

Katsu and Hei were thrilled to bits. Kanbei thanked me. I gave him my status report: there were about 30 Yakans and Tobitos remaining, as well as an obscene number of foot soldiers. Our 'wise leader' asked my opinion on the Nobuseri's plans. I informed him they would in all likelihood attack the next day. Told the guy I was going to get some sleep, and took off.

_End Kyuuzou POV_

* * *

Kanbei gave one last glance to the departing figure of the slender samurai. Kyuuzou was never one to be effusively friendly, but he had at least been civil to the villagers and to the other samurai, with the exception of Kanbei. Around the tall dark warrior, the enticing androgyne was ten times colder.

It must be because of Kyuuzou's preoccupation with their duel, Kanbei thought. But he would rather have some peace between them until that day. In fact, there were times Kanbei felt he would rather not have the duel at all. But he knew he did not deserve the possibility of that kind of happiness after a lifetime of shedding blood.

Still, Shimada could not help wanting to be close to that fascinating fighter. A few times, he had entertained the foolish question of what it would be like to love and be loved by Kyuuzou. Yet the veteran of many wars recognized that there was no going back. They were warriors who had chosen to live and die by the sword. Their impending duel was the only thing holding the two of them together.

In a way, Kanbei was grateful for this grim date. With it, he could be secure in the knowledge that Kyuuzou would always return to him until the day one of them died. He was a fool to desire the mysterious young man, and he knew it. He had bet his life just for the chance of seeing Kyuuzou's face again.

* * *

Note: "A newborn ox calf does not fear the tiger" is a Chinese saying. 


	12. Significance

Retribution  
Chapter 12: Significance  
-----------------------------  
Author: Jun-I  
Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1 

Synopsis: The roots of Kyuzo's reticence. And his present doubts about Kambei.

* * *

As Kyuuzou walked through the forest, he was surprised to realize he was feeling a little pleased in spite of himself. Someone had asked for his opinion, even though that someone was the annoying Kanbei. It was not the first time Kanbei had done so. The quiet warrior noticed that the commander made the effort to understand the thoughts of his entire team, from the most experienced to the least.

Ayamaro had never asked Kyuuzou for his opinion on any assignment. The silent samurai was just an unthinking enforcer as far as his former employer was concerned. But Kyuuzou was far from uninformed and uneducated. Sensei had made her students study the literary classics and memorize the Art of War, even taking the switch to their backs when their progress was not up to her exacting standards.

Still, Kyuuzou did not blame Ayamaro for seeing him as someone with no thoughts to share. From the beginning of his employment with Kougakyo City, the quiet loner almost never had anything to say. Very early on, his colleagues figured out it was usually a waste of time to ask for his verbal input. So they left him alone.

But things had not always been this way. Kyuuzou was not a particularly quiet child, at least not until the age of ten when he went to live with Sensei. The old lady, as most elders, treated children as people to be talked at, not listened to. With the exception of Haruko, who was the oldest and the designated heir to the dojo, Sensei never asked after the opinions or feelings of any of her students. The younger students were empty receptacles to be subjected to long lectures on what to think, what to say and what to do.

At some point during the six years he spent with Sensei, Kyuuzou decided, "Why bother to give your opinion when it's not going to be valued?" Still Kyuuzou did not regret the time spent under the stern woman's tutelage. Aikawa Sensei gave Kyuuzou an all-  
rounded warrior's education that even those born as samurai would kill to have.

The straw-headed child was the youngest and newest of the students during the time he was at Sensei's, and therefore the lowest in the pecking order. The next youngest student was Ayame. Ayame had no one else to dominate except Kyuuzou. As much as the older student had grown protective of Kyuuzou, she could not help being who she was – someone swift to overrule the opinions of an 'inferior'. It was partly from growing up around Ayame that Kyuuzou developed the habit of keeping his mouth shut except when it was absolutely necessary to speak. Better to keep quiet than speak up and be humiliated. One did NOT argue with Third Sister, especially when she was in an irritable mood, which came to be more often than not as the years went by.

Ayame was a born leader. Her decisive, aggressive streak helped her go far. For Kyuuzou's first two years in the military, Ayame was his commanding officer. Her temper did not always make her popular, but her willingness to stand up to her superiors on behalf of her subordinates earned her no small degree of love from those who followed her. Kyuuzou still remembered the Master Sergeant yelling "Go! Go! Go! Go! GO!!!" at the top of her lungs. Some soldiers actually found her brusque and loud manner reassuring. All they had to do was obey and not think. In a time of death and chaos, they needed a leader they could trust to decide things for them. Someone who would charge into battle at their head without hesitation.

Even so, Kyuuzou was glad when he was finally transferred to another battalion, away from Third Sister's authority. None of his later commanding officers quite had Ayame's level of raw physical courage, but still, he had no regrets. For once, he was the star soldier, the best of the platoon. Back in his old platoon, there was Ayame, Mizuho and Haruko. It was said that Third Sister still had not outgrown her drill sergeant mentality by the end of the war, when she was just promoted to the rank of captain. Ayame was right. She could never become taisho, her non-samurai origins not withstanding. She was not cut out to be a politician.

Kanbei, like Ayame, was a natural leader. But the man was quite different from Kyuuzou's Third Sister. He could get the same level of obedience without raising his voice. Shimada was authoritative without being authoritarian; in control without being controlling. Having Kanbei as a leader caused a slight shift in how Kyuuzou saw himself. The older man had a way of making his followers feel wanted, valued and important by taking the time to understand their opinions. Kyuuzou had never before followed a leader like Shimada Kanbei.

Almost everyone the scarlet samurai once held dear had made him feel inadequate, whether they meant to or not. Mother had said she wished he was a daughter. Sensei never acknowledged anything her students did right, but was quick to rebuke them if they did wrong. The senior students did not let him come along on their missions because he was not a 'real' girl. And Ayame was always trying to 'rescue' him. "All my life, I have worked hard to be the best I could be, but the best I could be is never good enough for anyone," he sometimes found himself thinking. "Except maybe for Kanbei."

With Kanbei, Kyuuzou felt different. To the older samurai, Kyuuzou was more than good enough. The scarlet warrior knew that Kanbei saw him as the star of the team, a soldier the experienced leader would literally bet his life to win to his side. It was as if the dark ronin had seen what Kyuuzou was trying to prove about himself. Something Ayame and the rest of those who were 'close' to him never saw.

"Shimada Kanbei…" Kyuuzou let the words roll off his tongue, and then realized with horror that a strange feeling of warmth was creeping up on him. Was he starting to be fond of the man??? The cold warrior was disgusted. He could not like that man! Not when Kanbei might be the one!

Kyuuzou quickly searched his brains for reasons to personally dislike Kanbei. Here was one: The clever leader had a sneaky and cunning side to him. Kanbei had manipulated Kyuuzou and toyed with him during their one match. The proud young samurai could not live that down. At least Ayame, for all her disregard for Kyuuzou's opinions, took him seriously as a fighter. She did not play with her opponents.

Kyuuzou's Third Sister had a reputation for taking no chances. She was swift and merciless. The dark woman said that it was because she was fighting to live instead of living to fight. Among those who chose the way of the sword, there were those who fight to live, and those who live to fight. The woman warrior said that those who belonged to the latter category were ignoble. That would of course, put Kanbei in the 'ignoble' category, Kyuuzou thought smugly. Only that he himself would not fare much better under Ayame's categorization.

Kyuuzou had found himself studying Kanbei when he thought the white-clad samurai was unaware. On some days, the crimson-eyed samurai would feel so sure that the dark ronin was that young officer from years gone by. And on other days, when Kyuuzou saw the older man smile, he was not quite so certain. In those moments, Shimada Kanbei seemed to bear little resemblance to the cruel and cold samurai in Kyuuzou's memory.

Kyuuzou disliked uncertainty. Yet the quiet loner had decided it was not wise to openly ask Kanbei the nagging question that had kept him at the heels of the dark warrior. The silent samurai hated playing games, but with a crafty opponent like Shimada Kanbei, perhaps there was no other choice. In the wrong circumstances, being too honest might just seal the young samurai's doom before Kyuuzou could get the vengeance he sought.

Kyuuzou remembered the tale of Fumiko, childhood friend of his 'Big Sister' Haruko. Fumiko went to fight in the war many years before Haruko did. The fighter pilot died under odd circumstances – the rumor came back that Fumiko's comrades pulled back and failed to cover her when she came under enemy fire. Haruko believed that her friend perished because Fumiko offended her squadron commander by reporting abuses against civilians. Kyuuzou was not going to repeat the same mistake. There was no getting around the fact that the Art of War is the Art of Deceit.

* * *

Author's Comments:  
- As to the historical possibility of someone from the merchant class (like Ayame) being a more formidable fighter than many samurai, the nonfiction book_ Secrets of the Samurai: The Martial Arts of Feudal Japan_ listed a number of examples of legendary fighters who were not samurai:

_"During the decline of the Tokugawa, for example, "The Tokaido's Number-One Boss," Jirosho of Shimizu (1820-93)… belonged to the merchant class…. Going back even further in time to the more rigidly controlled period of the early Tokugawa era, the famous Chobei of Banzuin, chief of the Otokodate in Edo, was a chonin (townsman), not a military retainer."_

Chonin is a subgroup of the merchant class

- For the context of Ayame saying she would never become taisho, see Happy Endings Chapter 1.

-As to why Ayame's temper got uglier and uglier as years went by, see Retribution Chapter 3 and Happy Endings Chapter 3.


	13. Pretend!

Retribution  
Chapter 13: Pretend!  
-----------------------

Author: Jun-I  
Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

Synopsis: Kanbei interrupts Kyuuzou's rest in Kanna Forest

* * *

_Kyuuzou's POV:_

Found my favorite tree in the forest and sat down against the trunk. I had been resting for about 2 hours when someone came up to me. In the time it took to exhale, I had my sword drawn and pointed at him. Opened my eyes and saw the intruder was Katsu. He had come all the way just to say, "I think you're great! I just wanted to let you know that!"

Thanks, but I already know I'm 'great'. Katsushiro bowed and trotted off. Sigh. Kids.

So, maybe once upon a time I too had been a wide-eyed 'wannabe' like him. Well, maybe not exactly like him. Katsushiro was always agonizing over how Kanbei does not fully accept him. That boy had it easy, in my opinion. Did he have any idea what I had to go through to be accepted by my Sensei and my seniors? And I did not agonize over it one bit. Did that kid even know there is a price to pay for being 'great'? That whining baby would never be a great samurai the rate he was going.

I closed my eyes again. But there was someone else concealed among the trees, watching me. "So it seems that I have exchanged the young one for the old one," I groaned inwardly.

I wondered if I should ignore him or call him out. Then I decided the sooner I could dismiss him, the sooner I could rest instead of worrying about his intentions. So I spoke first, "How long are you going to stand there? Don't you have a battle to plan for tomorrow?"

Shimada Kanbei came out from behind a tree and walked over to me. "Katsushiro admires your skill and courage, as do the other members of the team." he said.

I did not respond. Skill I knew I had. To claim otherwise would be to dishonor the efforts of Mother, Aunt, Sensei, and all the others who had taught me. As for courage, I lacked it at the one moment I needed it the most. Ever since the day of my dishonorable silence and inaction, I had been dogged by the feeling that I did not quite deserve to live. Yet I could not throw away the life that Mother had died trying to protect. So I had passed the years neither wanting to be alive nor desiring to be dead.

But the appearance of Shimada Kanbei gave me cause to live. I could not leave this world until I had my answers from him. I did not know for sure if he was the samurai I should be seeking. But even if Kanbei was not the one, he might be a useful tool for helping me find the killer. And when I do face that samurai, I will prove to myself that I now have both the skill AND the courage to do what I failed to do 15 years ago. Then maybe, just maybe, I could leave my shame behind.

The dark ronin sat down beside me. I closed my eyes and prepared to sleep once more. He should now take the hint and leave me. But instead the man whispered. "I am glad you made it back safely." Then I felt his hand on mine. What the h–

I looked down at his ungloved hand for the first time, and saw a familiar tattoo.

_End Kyuuzou's POV_

* * *

When Kanbei gently put his hand over Kyuuzou's, the young man's first instinct was to pull away. Then he stopped himself. This might be his only chance to get some answers out of Kanbei without revealing his own stake in the game. The slender androgyne inhaled deeply to calm himself, then he took Kanbei's hand in his own. The older man's eyes widened. He was not quite expecting Kyuuzou to be so receptive.

"A beautiful design," Kyuuzou said as casually as he could while caressing the flower tattoo on Kanbei's hand. "Where and when did you get this?"

"It is my family crest. All the children of the Shimada family have this tattoo done at age 12." Kanbei replied.

"Even the daughters?"

"Yes, but they only receive it on the left hand."

"Do you have any siblings, Kanbei-sama?" Kyuuzou queried.

"How odd," Kanbei thought, "Kyuuzou is suddenly sociable."

"I have an older brother. Had, I should say. He died in the war."

"He was older than you by how many years?" Kyuuzou pursued. His mother's killer could be Kanbei himself, or it could be another Shimada male of Kanbei's generation. Someone who bears some resemblance to Kanbei. A brother? A cousin perhaps?

"8 years," said Kanbei. He could not understand why Kyuuzou would be so interested.

"Ah, that eliminates the brother," Kyuuzou thought. "Kanbei's brother is too old to have been the man I saw. Kanbei himself, however, is about the right age."

"What about cousins? Do you have any?" Kyuuzou persisted, still holding Kanbei's hand.

"Kyuuzou is being talkative? This is too strange," thought Kanbei.

"I had a few cousins," the older man replied, pulling his hand back, "But enough about my family, Kyuuzou-dono. I would like to know about yours."

Kyuuzou jumped just a little. "I should have seen that coming," he panicked. "My approach was too direct."

Kanbei was now looking at him with something akin to suspicion, or so Kyuuzou thought. He had to think on his feet. Kanbei was not stupid, whatever else could be said of him. "Quick! What do I have to do now to stop Shimada Kanbei from analyzing things further?" Kyuuzou wracked his brains desperately for ideas.

His sisters told him that men were easy to fool because they had only one thing on their minds. It was worth a try. The scarlet samurai leaned forward and threw his arms around the other man's neck, sealing his lips over Kanbei's with as much fake passion as he could muster. This should stop the man from thinking for a while, hopefully. Then Kyuuzou wondered if he was 'overacting'. Would Kanbei believe his performance?

Kanbei was surprised – caught off balance by Kyuuzou's sudden assault. But he was not about to complain. He had madly desired the curiously ambiguous young samurai since the first day he saw him. Too many times he had caressed the willowy warrior with his eyes and embraced him in his dreams. But this was not a dream. His arms, of their own accord, circled Kyuuzou's slim shoulders, pulling the younger man into a passionate embrace.

Kyuuzou found himself pressed against Kanbei's chest. The dark, handsome man was returning his kiss more than enthusiastically. The icy samurai shuddered and resisted the urge to struggle.

Kanbei felt Kyuuzou tense up. This was not the body language of a willing partner. He stopped the kiss and gave the younger man a questioning look. Maybe Kyuuzou just was not ready for more...

Kyuuzou did not know how far Kanbei was going to go, or how far he was willing to let the dark ronin go. But to his relief, Kanbei released him.

"Well, that was unexpected," Kanbei looked down at him with an unreadable expression. Kyuuzou lowered his eyes. Maybe if he pretended to be embarrassed, there would be no need to think of a verbal response. His pale cheeks were flaming anyway.

"I'm sorry that I… imposed on you. I'll leave you to your rest." Kanbei said as he got to his feet. "Sleep well." The commander threw Kyuuzou one last searching glance before he turned to leave.

Kyuuzou's eyes followed the departing figure of the older man. He wondered if he had made the wrong move in this bizarre chess game. His chest was heaving even though he had not exerted himself. After years of discipline and training, the cool-headed samurai thought he had complete mastery over his body. He could control his breathing, channel his ki, and even ignore pain if he set his mind to it. But at this moment the cold warrior could not will away the strange warmth that was coursing through his body. This could not be happening to him!

* * *

Note:

My explanation for the flower tattoo is AU. In the canon universe, it was a military thing, not a family thing.


	14. The Battle for Kanna

Retribution  
Chapter 14: The Battle for Kanna  
-------------------------------------  
Author: Jun-I

Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

Synopsis: Kyuuzou's POV on the battle for Kanna

Acknowledgments: Thanks to elfjune for pointing out that the cannon used by the peasants was the one taken from the mecha Kyuuzou killed earlier in the rice fields.

* * *

_Kyuuzou's POV:_

The Nobuseri attacked a little earlier than I anticipated. They came before dawn, with the pouring rain as their cover. Darn, I haven't quite gotten my 8 hours of beauty sleep yet. I faced a Red Spider in the rice fields. Cut it down before it could cross over into the village. But the Mimizuku warriors had already gotten in and were doing their best to bring down the resale values of Kanna's real estate properties. I ran back to join the other samurai who were fighting the Mimizukus off. We managed to finish them all after a long hard fight.

Katsu did well. He got to take out his first Raiden. Maybe there's hope for that kid after all. But really, it's not as difficult to take out one of those giant mecha as you might think. They don't move that quickly. All you have to do is stay calm, keep your focus, and target their joints. Mechanization made my second sister Mizuho much slower than she was when she was human. Sometimes I wonder, rather pointlessly, that perhaps if Mizu did not mechanize she would have survived the war. But then, Second Sister, ever the humble woman, had never dared to hope for a happy life. All she wanted was a tolerable life and an acceptable death. And she had her wish. She was lucky, I guess. Many had less.

Anyway, killing the Raiden wasn't the end of the battle for Kanna. Our second course of action was served up by the tea kettles. We took out the Yakans, every one of them. Finally the last bandit, a Red Spider, arrived. The thing fired its cannon at Kanbei; Gorobei intercepted that shot with his sword and was wounded by the explosion.

Then Kanbei persuaded the Red Spider to put aside its cannon for one-on-one sword combat. How that man manages to sucker people into settling for second best choices is beyond me. But I guess the Nobuseri didn't fully buy into the deal. Not long into the match, he used his cannon again. Now the rest of the samurai were yelling, "That's despicable!" But I was going to do more than just talk. Jumped in there and sliced the robot's cannon arm off. Kanbei was not the least appreciative. He said, "I did not ask you to help me."

Told him it would have annoyed me if the thing killed him. And yes, a "thank you" would be nice too. But I never had high expectations of this man's manners anyway. I left him to finish the fight on his own as he wanted. Sure enough, the Red Spider knocked the sword out of his hand and closed in for the kill. Katsu was going to intervene, but Goro stopped him. What's with samurai men anyway? That whole "No, you have to let them fight one-on-one, even if it means that your friend gets killed" thing. Well, Kanbei was not my friend, but I wasn't going to stand by and watch the Red Spider exterminate the man who is mine alone to kill. Was about to make my move but the farmers beat me to it. Downed the thing with the cannon they took from the Red Spider I killed earlier. Go peasants!

Kanbei then finished the Red Spider off with a showy beheading. So I guess our fearless leader got to salvage his ego. But by then it was too late for Gorobei-dono. I used to find Gorobei annoying because he would sometimes look from Kanbei to me, and then from me to back to Kanbei, and then he would burst out giggling. What was his problem? I don't see what's so funny. That samurai could never stay serious about anything. But now that we had to bury him, I could not be annoyed at him anymore. In the brief time we had worked with Gorobei, he earned the team's respect. Whether I liked him or not, I had to admit the man had sharp instincts.

_End Kyuzo's POV_

* * *

Kanbei had left Kanna. Kirara was not planning on confessing her feelings for him to her grandmother. But now that she had done so, her mind was clearer. At the same time, the pain in her heart felt a little sharper too.

On looking back, she had been in love with the dark samurai ever since the time he saved her from her fall. But she did not know her own heart then. She had never imagined she could be drawn to a man so much older than she was. Besides, Katsushiro had been trying so hard. She felt obligated to 'like' the boy in return. Now she regretted having encouraged his attentions. It was pity and a sense of guilt which inspired her affection for him. She mistook it for the beginnings of love, but later realized that it was Kanbei that her eyes sought on their own accord, and not Katsushiro.

Someone who could so easily sense the watchful presence of a hidden enemy could not have failed to detect the longing gaze of a secret admirer. Yet the peasant priestess was sure Kanbei did not know of her feelings. The only reason he had not discovered her adoration was because while Kirara's eyes were following hopelessly after Kanbei, Kanbei's eyes were desperately following someone else. Kirara saw that a long time ago, when Kyuuzou first appeared to challenge Kanbei. The handsome ronin had gazed upon the androgynous samurai with a strange light in his eyes but at that time, the peasant priestess did not recognize the look in Kanbei's eyes for what it was.

Had Kyuuzou noticed how Kanbei looked at him? The priestess was certain he had. She observed the crimson samurai almost never looked Kanbei in the eye, and usually kept his back to the older man when he had to talk to Kanbei. Strange for someone who met his enemies head on and stared death in the face.

Did Kyuuzou return Kanbei's feelings? Kirara guessed he was probably too proud to do so. But she saw that the silent samurai always kept close to the white-clad warrior. Speaking of the silent samurai, where was he now?


	15. Return to Kougakyo

Retribution  
Chapter 15: Return To Kougakyo  
------------------------------------------  
Author: Jun-I

Synopsis: Kyuuzou's POV on the return to Kougakyo  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

* * *

_Kyuu POV:_

I wrote a letter to each of my sisters telling them briefly about the Kanna Project, just so that they could rest their hearts that I was finally on 'the right path'. Women and their social justice obsession – I don't quite get it yet. But anyway, I had more selfish motives for getting in touch with Third Sister. The villagers were feeding us nothing except rice in Kanna, and this low-protein-high-carbohydrate diet made me sluggish. Fortunately, I had a supply of soy protein tablets on me when I left Kougakyo. I'd been steadily rationing these out to myself, but now I was running low. (Ever wonder why I moved faster than the other samurai? The secret is soy supplements vs pure rice diet.)

As to where I got the soy tablets from, Ayame sent them to me in a care package many months ago, together with the red dress. She in turn received the soy as a gift from her vegetarian samurai friend whose name I don't even remember, so used we were to calling her "I-kill-people-but-I-won't-eat-animals"-dono. Anyway, whenever Third Sister received foods she did not like to eat, she would pass them to me, and in turn I would give them to the next unfortunate mecha with no taste buds who happened to come along. But fortunately, I kept the soy as an emergency supply. Now, I had to swallow my pride and ask Ayame for more soy protein tablets. I went to the post office in the next village to mail the letters to her and Haruko.

I was returning to Kanna when I ran into Mr. No-Fashion-Sense. Shichiroji told me that Kanbei had left the evening before, right after Gorobei's funeral. That ojisan did not bother to let anyone know except Shichi. This lack of transparency in Kanbei's leadership style is so annoying! The rest of us were supposed to work on reconstructing the village until our wise leader returned at an unspecified date.

Shichi said Shimada Kanbei was going to the Capital to rescue Rikichi's wife and the other kidnapped peasants. And like everyone else, Kanbei hadn't a clue as to where the Capital was!!! That city could be flying about anywhere! Smart huh? To set out on a trip without any directions.

I asked Shichi what Kanbei's plan was. Shimada's faithful aide said he did not know the details. Kanbei was somehow supposed to miraculously infiltrate the Amanushi's heavily-guarded palace and get the kidnapped women out – all by himself. This was going to be pure suicide! That is, assuming that he could even find the Capital without using GPS.

I decided to leave the village to go look for Shimada Kanbei. That guy had no right to get himself killed. Not until I'd gotten some answers out of him. How I was going to find him, I did not know exactly. He had more than half a day's head start. I followed his tracks down the mountain, but when I got to the desert, they had been lost in the shifting sand.

Then I said to myself, "I have to start thinking like that shifty old guy. What would Kanbei do?" He would probably go finagle information out of someone who knew the way to the Capital. Hmm… he just might have gone to try his luck with the Shikimori people.

I got to Shikimori territory and entered the caverns just in time to see Kanbei leave with some Shikimori folks on an amphibian cruiser. Well, it seemed that unshaven ronin really had it in him to bend people to his will. I was hoping some amphibian taxi would come by just at that moment so I could hail the cab, hop in and say, "Follow that vehicle!" just like they do in movies. But I had no such luck. I had to follow their trail on foot.

Well, it was just as well that I did not get to hail a cab. I didn't know if I could pay for it. I still had my credit card but chances were Kougakyo City had frozen my account after I quit Ayamaro without giving notice.

The Shikimori cruiser was long out of sight but I could pick up its trail. I ran after it on and off for a few days. Like my sisters, I was conditioned to go without food and water for an inhumanly long time, but this extended trip was starting to cut into the little that remained of my valuable soy supply.

Finally the Capital appeared in the distance. Now the question was how I could get into an airborne city with nothing except my two feet. Ah well, I guessed I'd just have to follow it and wait for my chance.

The thing was flying quite slowly, fortunately. I followed after it for another day or so. I was starting to tire. How long could I keep this up? In case you folks haven't figured it out already, I am NOT a god or an immortal. Just as I was cursing Kanbei for making me run so much, Kougakyo City came into sight in the distance. The Capital came to a stop over Kougakyo and set down its anchor. So it seemed the problem just solved itself for me.

It took me the better part of the day to reach Kougakyo. I entered the city. Everyone was talking about the dark ronin who tried to assassinate the Amanushi and got arrested instead. The Capital was there so that the people of Kougakyo could see his execution, which was starting in fifteen minutes! This was not good news! I made my way towards the execution site as fast as I could, but it seemed I was late! I got there just in time to see the Capital take off right before my very eyes. Which could only mean the execution was over. Kanbei's corpse was nowhere to be seen.

For a moment, my heart sank. That ojisan had ultimately escaped me without giving me any answers. Now the people who had been there to watch the public spectacle were leaving en masse. I overheard them talking about how the Amanushi had pardoned the assassin. So Kanbei still lived! Hope came alive again in my heart.

I tried to sense Shimada's current location, and following my instincts, I walked through the streets of Kougakyo. But instead of finding Kanbei, I found Ayamaro first. My ex-boss was in a back alley, cowering before three henchmen. This didn't look right. Weren't those people supposed to be working for him? One of them raised his sword to strike Ayamaro down. I jumped in and finished all three of them off, very cleanly if I might add. I hope this settled whatever grievances Ayamaro might have held against me. Sure, I decimated a tiny percentage of his workforce, but with the exception of Hyogo, those were all contractors and not employees. My previous actions might have cost Ayamaro some money in life insurance payouts to Hyogo's family, but now that I'd saved his life, I think that we're even.

I was going to head out on my own, but Ayamaro insisted on tagging along. I really did not want to play babysitter, but I guess I'm just too softhearted. Ayamaro told me the details about Kanbei's arrival at the Capital and his failed assassination attempt on the Amanushi. That was interesting gossip. My former employer also filled me in on how Ukyo became the new Amanushi and how Kanbei broke free of his restraints at his execution and tried to kill Ukyo. Then Shimada's plans were ruined when Ukyo 'pardoned' him and released him. Told you that ojisan was going to get himself into trouble. Rushing blindly into one physical confrontation after another – that's exactly the kind of behavior my sisters refer to as 'testosterone poisoning'. Sigh.

Anyway, it was getting late, and I wanted to find a place to rest before I started hunting that Kanbei again. With me alone, it would have been easy. But now I had to locate decent lodgings to put up my pampered charge for the night. Made it clear to Ayamaro he was the one who would be paying though.

We found ourselves in Iyashi No Sato, Kougakyo's entertainment district, looking for a discount inn. I saw Katsushiro pass by in the crowd. Ah, Kanbei and the rest of the gang might be somewhere close by. Let me guess. Would it be the House of the Fireflies again? But even if I had not seen Katsu, I think I might have located Kanbei on my own anyway. I could feel his presence somewhere not so far off. And I could sense danger.

But don't think I have something for that guy just because I could sense his location. We don't have a special connection or anything like that. Ayame and I don't even like each other, and yet she has the extra-sensory ability to find my location within a certain distance, a sixth sense which she put to annoying use on the battlefield. It was always "Third Sister to the rescue!" Stop hogging the action and let a guy fight his own battles for a change, dang it!

Anyway, Ayamaro and I reached the front court of House of the Fireflies just in time to find 8 crab claw mechas about to burn the place. I swear that Kanbei is a trouble magnet if I've ever met one. Had my second workout of the day by slicing up all the robots. It was only after I was done that Kiku and Kanbei arrived on the scene. Those guys are so clueless.

Kanbei came up to me and said, "You came at a good time." That man just had to state the obvious. He couldn't come up with anything else to say, I guess. But I had no time for awkward small talk.

I kept my back to Kanbei. Told him that those assassins were sent by Ukyo to kill them, so I had to finish them off. Kiku, who always had such a bad sense of humor, said I must really love the Kanna gang to act this way, even if I would not admit it. I had to correct him. I was only waiting for this seemingly interminable project to end so that Kanbei and I could get on with personal business.

That was when Kikuchiyo caught sight of my charge. Ayamaro was hiding behind a tree, trying his best to be unobtrusive. Which was totally not working since he was like three times the width of the tree.

_End Kyuu POV_

* * *

Kanbei was not quite expecting Kyuuzou to find him in Kougakyo, but then he had not been expecting Katsushiro, Kikuchiyo and Kirara to follow him to the Capital either. The tall dark warrior noticed with some disappointment that Kyuuzou had reverted to his previous coldness, that aloof iciness he reserved specially for Shimada Kanbei. It was as if that stolen kiss in the forest had never happened.

The seasoned veteran could not understand Kyuuzou. Was the enigmatic androgyne playing with him? The idea vaguely upset Kanbei. After a moment of awkward silence, Kanbei invited the two new arrivals to join them in the House of the Fireflies.

* * *

**_Author's Comment:_**

This chapter was inspired by my friend who watched S7 with me and remarked that the samurai must have a serious protein and vitamin deficiency if they were eating nothing except rice. I myself had been on a high carb low protein diet before (not on purpose, but because I was too lazy to go out to buy food before eating up my existing food supplies) so I do know firsthand that the Vitamin B and protein deficiency can make a human feel quite horrible.


	16. From Foe to Friend

_Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1_

"Hey, isn't that the uncle who is in charge of collecting the rice?" Kikuchiyo bellowed at the cringing Ayamaro. Under other circumstances, the magistrate who was more accustomed to being addressed as "Gozen-sama" would have taken great offense at being so casually called "oji-san", but that was the last thing on Ayamaro's mind at this moment. When Kanbei and Kikuchiyo, samurai whom the governor had once ordered his men to hunt, strode towards to Ayamaro, the portly man shuddered. Kyuuzou took a step closer to the fat blond as if to assure his former lord that no harm would come to him. But Kanbei's eyes fell first on the slender blond, not on Ayamaro. "Well, Kyuuzou-dono, perhaps you and the magistrate would be interested in taking a rest in the inn?" The dark man asked in an unexpectedly solicitous tone.

A hint of a weird smirk lingered on Kanbei's face. Coupled with the vaguely flirtatious gaze directed at Kyuuzou, it proved to be simultaneously disconcerting and annoying to the crimson samurai who was previously unfazed by half a dozen flame-throwing robots. Wordlessly, the slender warrior turned away from Kanbei and rested his eyes on trembling Ayamaro's sweaty face, as if to say, "This decision belongs to Gozen-sama."

The slick Shimada picked up on Kyuuzou's hint. Immediately, he turned to Ayamaro, addressing his former persecutor in a formal manner that was neither too warm nor too cold. "Your Excellency, I see that you have been through some rather traumatic events. Some food and drink would undoubtedly help ease the shock. The House of the Fireflies has an excellent menu, as well as clean beds for the night. If such common lodgings are not below the notice of your Excellency, I am sure the gracious proprietess would be honored by your patronage."

The samurai commander even gave the short fat man a gallant bow, much to the consternation of Kikuchiyo, who scratched his head. "How bizarre! What's gotten into our usually high-and-mighty leader? One would think that he's trying to flatter a potential father-in-law, or something."

Ayamaro cast a doubtful glance at the tall man, then his eyes drifted upward towards the warm, welcoming neon lights brightening the facade of the House of the Fireflies. The Governor felt awkward to be indebted to those he had once persecuted, but he realized that he had nowhere else to go.

--

"Yukino-san, you have guests," Kanbei called out as he reentered the inn with Kikuchiyo and the new arrivals trailing behind him. The lady innkeeper barely showed any surprise at the sight of the magistrate whose police once raided her inn. Within two minutes, Ayamaro was settled into a clean, spacious room brightly lit by white-and-pink lanterns. In silence, Kyuuzou took up his post just outside the room while Kikuchiyo, Masamune and Kanbei took their seats within. Yukino unobtrusively made her exit, reappearing a minute later with a teapot. She poured Ayamaro a cup of tea and then proceeded to serve Kanbei, Masamune, and Kikuchiyo in that order. Last of all, she came to Kyuuzou.

"Tea?" The black-eyed woman asked.

The silent samurai shook his head. Tea on an empty belly would aggravate an eroded stomach lining even further. Kyuuzou had been subsisting on soy protein tablets since he left Kanna.

"What about water?" Yukino suggested. This time, the thin blond nodded.

"I'll be right back." The woman said kindly. Kyuuzou's eyes followed her as she made her way down the hallway. He would have asked Yukino for food too, if his pride allowed him to do so. But the silent samurai steered his thoughts away from his empty stomach, casting his eyes about the warmly lit guest room.

The robot and Masamune remained silently seated in the room while Kanbei made small talk with Ayamaro about the Capital. "A warm up session before the interrogation starts," Kyuuzou smiled wryly. This casual talk went on for a while.

"When's Yukino going to be back with my cup of water?" Kyuuzou wondered. He eyed the water running in the stream cutting through the garden beside him before turning his attention back to Ayamaro and Kanbei. The broad-shouldered dark-haired man happened to be sitting right in front of Kyuuzou, near the entrance of room.

15 minutes passed before Yukino reappeared. But to Kyuuzou, it seemed like a very long time. The woman was carrying a dark lacquer tray on which sat a cup of water and a mouthwatering meal - tempura vegetables, fried shrimp, steamed fish and broiled octopus arranged in a red lacquer box. Kyuuzou's sharp nose had long picked up the aroma of gourmet seafood even before the innkeeper turned the corner into the corridor. "If only that food is for me," Kyuuzou could not help wishing, though he knew better. Of course the delicacies weren't for him. He was just an underling and Ayamaro was the 'honored guest'. It would not be proper for a servant to eat before his lord had eaten.

Yukino quietly handed Kyuuzou the cup of water before walking past him to Ayamaro's table. She set the tray down before the disgraced lord. To Kyuuzou's slight surprised, the former Governor actually thanked her. The lady retreated past Kanbei, once again making her way around Kyuuzou who remained seated in the corridor.

She bent and whispered to the slender young man. "We have prepared a meal for you in the kitchen. If you would like eat, feel free to go there anytime. Ask for Aunty Nanami - the tiny old lady - she'll show you where things are."

Kyuuzou nodded gratefully but remained stationary. Although he had unofficially 'quit' Ayamaro's service, he still felt obligated to wait until the lord dismissed him before taking his own dinner.

Watching Ayamaro slowly pick through the delicious seafood dinner, the crimson samurai applied a fair deal of mental discipline in tuning out the signals from his own empty stomach. Kyuuzou thought it better to focus on something other than the sight of someone eating. The closest thing to him was Shimada, whose broad, sturdy back was silhouetted against the pale green wall panels of the room. The young man allowed his eyes to rest on Kanbei's back for a few moments, and an uninvited thought slipped into his mind, "How would it feel to rest against his back? To lay my head on those strong shoulders? To wrap my arms around him? To -"

"Where did that train of thought come from?" The cold warrior was instantly horrified at himself. "I must be too tired!" Fortunately, Kikuchiyo chose that very moment to jump up and scold Ayamaro loudly about his annoyingly slow eating speed. It was most welcome distraction for Kyuuzou. The haughty samurai felt foolish for conjuring up those strangely intimate visions of Kanbei, a man whom he had not quite decided was a friend or a foe.

Quite deliberately, Kyuuzou banished all images of Kanbei from his head, directing his mind back to a cold, lonely past in which another face - a face of someone who was both friend and foe - hovered before him.

Was it 15 years ago when she, in childish spite, goaded him to hurt himself? It seemed like a distant dream, or perhaps a nightmare. But his heart was beyond caring then, as it was now. She despised him, but he had decided he deserved it - deserved the hate, deserve the hurt - because he despised himself for failing to protect those who loved him. The feel of cold steel cutting into warm flesh actually gave him a temporary relief from his guilt - Heaven had not punished him, so he had to punish himself. He remembered fainting from the pain; when he awoke, he was back in his bed in the dojo. Ayame was kneeling next to him, peering down at him with worried golden eyes. "How are you feeling?" She asked anxiously. "You want tea? Water? Rice? Chamber pot?"

"I guess I get to stay then?" The boy smiled weakly, although he was still in pain.

The dark girl started crying. Kyuuzou never thought he'd live to see that. So the one who was hurt did not shed a tear, and the one who was whole wept.

The boy addressed the older child with some difficulty, trying to keep his mind off the pain "Are you disappointed I'm still here? I didn't know you wanted me gone so badly..."

"I didn't mean what I said! I was just trying to scare you." Her body wracked with sobs.

"Does she really mean what she is saying now?" young Kyuuzou wondered then.

"Did she really mean what she was saying then?" Kyuuzou wondered now.

The crimson samurai suspected Ayame might prefer not 'undo' the change even if she had a choice. She never fully liked boys. Years later, the silent samurai would still sometimes wonder if what Third Sister felt towards the past was guilt and not repentance. But he never gave much room to such thoughts - there was no point in contemplating what may or may not be. Besides, he was content with his state.

But the truth was, Ayame was no longer cruel to him, more or less. In fact, she had appointed herself as his defender, a role she never gave up even when they were in the military. Sometimes Kyuuzou was not sure if he was glad that his senior had switched from being his tormentor to being his protector. For the first two years he served as a soldier during the Great War, he never knew if he survived because of his own skill, or because of Ayame. They would be in the middle of combat when she would yell, "Look out! Arrows!" and pull him to the ground. Or she would fling him out of the way when enemy mecha got ready to fire. Or she would push him aside when a shell exploded nearby. Perhaps that was her way of trying to make it up to him, over and over and over again.

Kyuuzou knew the noble response to Third Sister's interventions should be gratitude. But somehow, he did not feel it. Rather, the younger samurai found Ayame's physical manipulation more than aggravating.

Third Sister had more than a few battle scars - all the way back from the time she was little more than a child and already a killer. And during the Great War, she added a few more scars on his behalf. But Kyuuzou had none. His smooth skin was unmarred. The thought of that filled him with a gnawing anger. "In fact," Kyuuzou thought, "This 'condescending protectiveness' is exactly the kind of behavior male samurai characters apply towards female samurai characters in popular movies and books. And the common masses think that is 'sweet' and 'romantic'. 'Sweet' and 'romantic' my foot! Just do a gender reversal on that behavior and we can see how condescending and annoying it really is!"

To accept Ayame's protection was to acknowledge his inferiority as a fighter. But as long as she stayed around him, Kyuuzou did not have much of a choice in the matter. Fortunately, the crimson-eyed samurai transferred out of Third Sisters's battalion during his third year in service. Kyuuzou could finally prove to himself that he could survive the toughest combat situations on his own.

But strangely enough, it was the memory of Ayame as the smothering-mothering commander that direcyted Kyuuzou's mind back to the present again. He suddenly realized he appreciated Kanbei as a leader. The man cared for his subordinates, but he regarded them highly enough to let them take care of themselves. Kyuuzou noticed how Kanbei let Katsushiro take some hard knocks so the child could know his own limits and test his potential. And the dark commander trusted Kyuuzou enough to give him full autonomy in whatever mission he chose to undertake. No one had ever treated the silent samurai like this.

Sensei, his seniors, and even Mother had all at one point or another expressed indirectly or directly that they wished Kyuuzou was someone that he was not. On the other hand, Kanbei never even hinted that he would like Kyuuzou to conform to a certain mold. That bizarre man seemed to gaze at him with eyes that said that he was perfect and needed no changes. "Kirara is not as tolerant as Kanbei," Kyuuzou noted, his lips twisting slightly to form a vaguely sarcastic smirk. The village priestess had made it clear she would prefer the silent samurai to 'improve his communication skills'.

But Kanbei asked no such thing of him. Never demanded that he eat with the others. Allowed him his solitude. The commander accepted each samurai the way he was. Shimada focused on their strengths, not their weaknesses. It was no wonder all the samurai and villagers respected and loved him. That is, all except for Kyuuzou.

"No, I will not adore him the way everyone else does," the silent samurai told himself. "My heart will not be bought as cheaply. No, it cannot be bought at all, because it isn't for sale to start with."


	17. Liar

**_Warnings and Disclaimers:_** See Chapter 1. But I'll say it again. Opinions expressed by characters do not necessarily reflect author's opinions. 

_Kyuuzou's POV:_

I was sitting outside Ayamaro's room in the inn, right behind our 'wise' leader. My tired mind was thinking about Kanbei, Ayame, and a dozen other random things when Ayamaro's voice brought me back to the present. My former employer was telling Kanbei, "Every public action Ukyo performs in Kougakyo appears to be done with the welfare of the people in mind. But he secretly eliminates any who dare to oppose him. All the words he told you were lies, I'm afraid."

"Talking about liars, I know one myself." Kikuchiyo broke in, while turning to fix his mechanical eye on our 'noble leader'. "To win a fight, he will stoop to playacting. That is why he always ends up winning!"

I almost jumped. I knew Kikuchiyo was not talking about me. But the robot's words hit me right in the gut. Lying and playacting were not things I did. Not until Shimada Kanbei came along. That old sinner had dragged me down together with him. I had fallen after him into the dark depths of ambiguity.

_End Kyuuzou's POV_

After Ayamaro had retired for the night, Kyuuzou quietly made his way to the kitchen. There, a short old lady sat reading by the yellowish light of an electric lamp.

"Nanami oba-san?" Kyuuzou ventured.

The elderly woman gestured towards a covered tray of food sitting on the table beside her. "The food's turned cold. You can reheat it in the microwave if you wish." She yawned.

Kyuuzou lifted the lid of the food tray. Inside were tempura vegetables, fried shrimp, steamed fish and broiled octopus arranged rather artistically. A barely perceptible smile ghosted across his pale features - those were the same items that had been served to Lord Ayamaro.

Nanami's hard narrow eyes watched Kyuuzou slowly and methodically work his way through the entire tray of food and its accompanying bowl of rice. "You're a virtuous child," The old hag nodded with approval when she saw that the thin samurai had completely cleaned out the rice bowl. "Young people nowadays are so wasteful. It is rare to see a clean bowl without any grain of rice left within after a meal. Would you like more rice?"

Kyuuzou shook his head politely, setting down his bowl. In truth he did not mind eating more, but the disciplined martial arts practitioner had the wisdom not to over-indulge himself. Despite his hunger, Kyuuzou had deliberately kept his eating speed slow. After nearly a week on a near-starvation diet, a sudden eating binge would sicken him.

"Now that you've eaten, let me show you to your room," The shriveled crone put down her book and rose to her feet. "It's two doors down from the room occupied by the other samurai."

--

"The proprietess of the House of the Fireflies seems to be the sort of person who knows a guest's needs without needing to ask." Kyuuzou thought gratefully when he retired for the night.

Yukino did not assign him to the same bedroom shared by the rest of the men. The quiet androgyne was given his own little bedchamber, something he appreciated. Kyuuzou had not slept under a roof for weeks, not to mention in a real bed. As he laid himself down on the soft bedding, he was quite certain that he would sleep very well.

But that was not to be. Before the scarlet-eyed samurai had been asleep for even three hours, he started having a most troubling dream. In his dream, Kanbei had entered the room and slipped under the covers with him. "Leave me alone!" Kyuuzou yelled. He knew this had to be a dream because if it was waking life, he would have done more than just yell. The dark samurai ignored Kyuuzou's demand and rolled on top of him. The angry young man fought back desperately, but to no avail. Kanbei was stronger. This was certainly not real! In real life, his wits and skill always won against stronger opponents.

As Kyuuzou struggled ineffectively against the strong body pressing down on him, he felt an unfamiliar and yet not unpleasant sensation build within himself. "No! This cannot be happening!" The crimson samurai almost screamed his thoughts as the older man's mouth covered his own. This was definitely a nightmare! Kyuuzou stopped trying to buck the bigger samurai off and started fighting to wake up.

After a few agonizingly suffocating moments, the determined warrior threw off the shackles of that oppressive dreamscape and opened his eyes, relieved to be back in the waking world. Kyuuzou sat up in bed. That was when he noticed the subject of his nightmare standing in the doorway of his room.

"What are you doing here?" Kyuuzou snapped.

"I was on night watch when I heard you cry out. I thought you might be in danger." Kanbei answered, taking in the sight of the breathless, sweaty samurai sitting under the moonlight.

"I am alright. You can go," Kyuuzou said curtly. Instead, Kanbei stepped into the room and slid the door shut.

"I said I'm fine. I am not in danger." Kyuuzou's eyes narrowed.

"Is that so?" The dark intruder knelt down beside him. Kanbei was close, close enough for Kyuuzou to feel the heat of his body.

"Leave me." Kyuuzou commanded in a dangerously low tone that would have cowed lesser men.

"In a moment," Shimada answered. Then he leaned in and pinched Kyuuzou's nose firmly. When the stunned young man opened his mouth to breathe, Kanbei kissed him. As the kiss rapidly crossed the line into 'very unchaste', the shocked samurai regained his senses enough to push the older man away.

"Next time, you will lose whatever you put in my mouth!" Kyuuzou spat disgustedly, glaring at Kanbei.

"I was just returning the kiss you bestowed on me in Kanna, in case you had forgotten," the seasoned veteran smiled mockingly. Then he rose to his feet in one fluid motion and left the room.

Long seconds passed before Kyuuzou, still trembling with rage, raised a hand to his still burning lips. "Has Kanbei seen through my pretenses?" he wondered. In the darkness, he could still feel the lingering blush on his cheeks, a teasing reminder of his weakness.


	18. Hidden Kinship

Retribution  
Chapter 18: Hidden Kinship  
-------------------------------------  
Author: Jun-I

Synopsis: Kyuuzou's questions remain unanswered as the samurai leave Kougakyo to chase the Capital.  
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1. But I'll say it again. Opinions expressed by characters do not necessarily reflect author's opinions.

_

* * *

__Kyuuzou's POV:_

The next morning, Heihachi, Shichi and Rikichi arrived at the House of the Fireflies by boat. That set the stage for more drama. Sanae - the woman whom Kanbei went through all that trouble to rescue - refused to be reunited with her husband. Everyone witnessed the awkward scene between Rikichi and Sanae in the chamber upstairs. Kanbei was the first to leave the room. Would you believe, Ayamaro was so overcome by the sob factor of the situation that he actually placed his hand on Kiku's back for 'emotional support'. Never thought I'd see that.

_End Kyuuzou POV_

* * *

There was no point in watching the couple's unhappiness any further. Kyuuzou left the room and went down the stairs. The quiet samurai was about to turn into the corridor when he spotted Kanbei and Shichiroji outside in the courtyard talking about the sorry situation. He did not wish to intrude on their private conversation, so he stayed concealed in the stairwell. 

"A bitter thing it is," remarked Shichi. "Truly a bitter thing."

"I will never forget the shock I felt at that time," Kanbei said.

"That's so unlike you."

"I couldn't bring myself to do it. The look in Sanae's eyes was one of utter devotion to the Amanushi." Kanbei continued, "Looking at those eyes, there was no way I could have done the deed. Perhaps I am just not mature enough."

They said more after that, but the young man did not hear the rest of their conversation. His mind was in a whirl, and his vision clouded with rage. Is this how one would go about getting mercy from a killer like Kanbei? Just take on the form of a 'weak' woman, put on a really pathetic, desperate face, and beg with all the foolish sincerity of a brainwashed puppet? "I could have done that too. Easily." Kyuuzou thought. Maybe if he had dashed out of the closet all those years ago, threw himself at that man's feet and sobbed like a blubbering fool Kyuuzou could have stayed the killer's hand and saved his mother.

"Wait a minute!" Kyuuzou checked himself. He was still not even sure if it was really Shimada Kanbei. He needed to know! He needed to know just so that he could decide how much to hate that man. "But if it is really him, I will make sure he suffers before he dies," the cold samurai thought as a steely glint came into his red eyes. "Because he spared the wicked and had no mercy on the good. I'm beginning to get the idea that if a woman conducts herself with dignity and does not grovel enough, then she cannot expect mercy from certain types of men. It seems that being pathetic and weepy is the key to getting what you want. No wonder Ayame was never very fond of men in general."

_

* * *

__Kyuuzou POV_

For the next few days, I hung around Kanbei, waiting for a chance to get personal information out of him in the most sneaky, I mean 'discreet', way possible. But no such opportunity came. Shimada was busy making preparations for our upcoming trip, as was everyone else. Our fearless leader had decided to attack the Capital, and of course the rest of us had to go along for the ride. Much as I wanted my answers immediately, I was forced to bid my time.

At long last, we left the House of the Fireflies and set out to find the Capital. I was glad to get out of that inn because I was sick of listening to Yukino persuading Kirara to put on a nice kimono and makeup to get Kanbei's attention. Would you believe the things those two women waste their minds on while the rest of us are trying to figure out how to stop a giant flying fortress with only five samurai? I missed my sisters, even the perpetually irate Ayame. At least they applied their brains to worthier pursuits.

I thought I might get to catch Shimada alone during the trip, and maybe get my questions answered. But Kanbei was too busy fending off the aggressive advances of Kirara to pay me any attention. That woman had no sense of timing. I almost cheered when Kanbei finally flatly told her "No!" the night before we were to attack the Capital. Phew! That should be an end to the annoyance.

That night I went to sleep quite content. But in my dreams, there came unbidden to my mind a vision of the past.

I dreamt that I was a child again. Aunt and Mother were still with me. I must have been very young because Aunt Rumi was not sick. She was still strong. We had gone hunting on a snowy day. Aunt had a deer slung across her shoulders. She was walking before me. And Mother was walking beside me, holding my hand.

This was the kind of dream I feared to have. Vaguely happy dreams that turn into pain upon waking. Memories that refuse to stay buried and forgotten. My solace can only be found on the battlefield, where one is forced to see only the present moment and nothing else. It is only in that space without past and without future that my soul can escape the sorrow and shame of yesteryear.

_End Kyuuzou POV_

* * *

The desert night was bitingly cold. Everyone slept close to the fire, except for Kyuuzou. He kept his distance from the group as was his habit. Kanbei noticed that the silent loner had seated himself against the hull of the wrecked Raiden. The red figure was completely still. He was probably already asleep. But as Shimada walked silently past Kyuuzou while making his rounds on night watch, he heard the slender samurai say, "It's so cold…" 

Kanbei stopped and stared at the younger man. The dark samurai was almost astonished to hear an admission of vulnerability from the haughty warrior. Then Shimada realized that Kyuuzou was not addressing him. The other samurai's head was drooping. Kyuuzou must have been talking in his sleep. The white-clad warrior approached the still figure cautiously to confirm this conclusion. Kyuuzou's eyes were closed.

"Mother… it is so very cold…" The deadly warrior spoke again in a childlike, plaintive voice. "Are we going home yet?"

Kanbei's eyes widened in surprise. Was this even Kyuuzou speaking? The dark commander was used to hearing Kyuuzou's deep, dispassionate voice. Yet the voice Kyuuzou just used when talking in his sleep was significantly higher, and more pleasing, as if it had never broken. Then Shimada wondered what kind of dream the crimson samurai was having. And who his mother was. She must be a remarkable woman for a grown son - and one as strong and as proud as that one - to turn to her in times of vulnerability, even if only in a dream.

Still, Kyuuzou was right. It was so very cold. The tall man removed his long white jacket. Silently and very carefully, he knelt down beside Kyuuzou and laid the garment over the sleeping samurai. As Kanbei peered into the young man's pale face, the sleeper's expression became a little more relaxed. The older man was about to get to his feet and continue on his rounds when the dreamer's lips began to move ever so slightly. In his dream, Kyuuzou was singing a soft, slow song.

_Hush now, my little one  
__Be strong now, don't cry  
__Things are not always what they seem  
__Sleep and remember  
__Your lost lullaby  
__I'll walk with you in your dream_

Kanbei could not believe his ears. It was the same song his grandmother – the mother of his father – had sung to him in that faraway, innocent past before his hands were stained with blood. So, once Kyuuzou had such a past too. But how could the crimson samurai know this melody? It was a song from Shimada's hometown.

There were so many questions Kanbei wanted to ask the mysterious young man. But he knew the silent samurai would never answer. The tall man threw one last searching glance at the sleeping figure before stepping away to continue on his rounds. He was relieved that Kyuuzou had not detected his presence and woken up. But if Shimada Kanbei had looked back a moment later, he would have seen a tear slide from the sleeper's lids and fall onto the sand.

Kanbei returned before dawn when the air was just beginning to turn warmer. He quietly retrieved his jacket from the still sleeping warrior. The dark ronin had the feeling that Kyuuzou would be more than displeased if he awoke to find evidence that someone had been able to approach him undetected. Especially if that someone was the rival he wanted to kill.

* * *

Author's Notes: 

- In this fic, Kyuuzou, even as a child, never sheds tears when he is in a conscious state. He was raised by a samurai mother who was strict about NOT crying. Even when people close to him died, he always held the tears back. (See early chapters of Retribution and also second chapter of Happy Endings)

- The lullaby is adapted from River Lullaby from the Prince of Egypt Soundtrack.

- The "mother… it's so cold…" dream was inspired by a scene from the movie Ba Wang Bie Ji (whose title was badly translated as "Farewell my Concubine." A better translation is "The Warlord Bids Farewell to his Lady") in which the grown up protagonist recalls a childhood scene in a dream.


	19. Boy Interrupted

Retribution  
Chapter 19: Boy Interrupted  
------------------------------  
Author: Jun-I

Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1.

Note:  
- As to how Kyuuzou came to hate driving, see companion fic Happy Endings ;-)

* * *

_Kyuuzou's POV:_

The next morning, we left the peasants behind and headed off to the Capital on the flying sword. But not before Kanbei had to tell Kirara one more time to shut up and leave him alone. Anyway, I told myself this was the last we'll be seeing of her for a while, so there was no need to let her antics annoy me too much.

When we finally found the Capital, Kanbei ordered Shichi to charge right at it. The flying fortress focused its firepower on us. I thought that Shimada fellow was just kidding when he told Kirara he had no plan and that we were all going to die! Luckily for us, Shichiroji was an excellent driver and managed to avoid some of the laser beams that were shooting at us. Still, Kikuchiyo and I had to deflect more than a few of those deadly beams. What was our fearless leader doing anyway? Hiding behind Kiku and me while chitchatting with Shichiroji about 'the girl'? My blood pressure rose at the very thought.

I bailed out of the giant cutter first chance I got. Jumped onto a mecha as it loomed up in front of us. I found myself leaping from flying robot to flying robot, trying to slash my way of this craziness that Kanbei had gotten us into. Sure enough, a giant mecha fired its cannon at me. I jumped aside and the shell exploded some distance from me. Shrapnel got into my right arm but I supposed it could have been worse. I took advantage of the cover of smoke to get back to the cutter. Shichi was gone. So were the other two.

What? No chauffeur? I hated driving. Especially with one arm. Kougakyo had a great public transportation system so I rarely had to drive. I studied the vehicle's controls for a moment. My driver's license had already expired, but I had no choice.

I could sense Kanbei's location inside the giant ship. Despite my questionable driving skills and useless right arm, I managed to pilot the vehicle right into the inner court where our fearless leader, Shichi and Kiku were facing off with Tessai and his company of gun-bearing robots. Regrettably, I had to finish Tessai off. I would not need to do this if Tessai had quit Ukyo when he had the chance. My ex-colleague never liked what Ukyo did anyway, but his inflexible notions of samurai 'honor' and 'loyalty' prevented him from leaving that loser. Too late for him now.

"Your arm!" Kanbei ran up to me exclaiming. This guy was totally wasting his breath by telling me something I already knew. My sisters never ran around a battlefield exclaiming, "Your arm!" or whatever. Did you hear me saying "Your arm!" to Ayame when she was injured in combat? She would have shredded me (verbally, of course) for being a drama queen. But I had neither her temper nor her alpha personality. So I dismissed Kanbei simply by saying, "I can still use my left arm."

Then that Katsu kid ran into the room screaming his dramatic battle yell. He took out one robot before another one broke his sword and knocked him down. The mecha aimed its gun at him. Finally Kanbei found something useful to do. He ran over and struck down the Mimi that was about to kill Katsunoji. This, however, put our wise leader right in position between two mecha who were ready to fire at him. Shichi threw his spear through one of them and I ran over to cut down the other one. That Shimada fellow was not going to die! Not until I got some answers out of him.

Then before I knew it, the bullets hit me. I lost control of my limbs and fell as I saw the mecha fall. Katsushiro was right behind it holding a gun. So it was that kid coming to Kanbei's rescue by firing a gun at that very same mecha I was trying to kill! I don't blame Katsushiro for what happened. I blame Kanbei! Probably every bad thing that ever happened to me was ultimately Shimada Kanbei's fault.

As pain ripped through my body, I had the fleeting thought that I was dying. But no! This could not be true! I could not die! There were still questions I needed to have answered! There were still things I needed to do! I was not going to die!

Kanbei rushed over and caught me in his arms. That was so unnecessary. I was just wounded in action. Not like it hadn't happened before. Eventually, I would be carried off the battlefield and taken back to Kanna to recuperate.

The man did not put me down. He just held me.

"Finish the job!" I had to waste my energy telling our 'wise' leader to reprioritize his tasks even though it was sheer agony for me to speak. "Don't forget our duel. I'll wait for you in the village."

Then I felt my own ki growing dimmer even as he stared down at me with an expression that looked almost like grief. Maybe I should rethink my previous assessment of my condition after all. I struggled to remain in the world of the living. All the "could-haves" and "should-haves" spun through my mind as I met his eyes. But he should really leave now. The ceiling was crumbling around us.

"I will be there soon," he whispered, "Wait for me on the other side."

"No you don't understand!" I tried in vain to voice the words as blood filled my mouth and lungs. "I can't leave before you! There are two people waiting for me on the other side! I can't go to them empty-handed!" But no sound passed my lips. He looked at me uncomprehending. I lost sight of him as I passed into a blood-red world.

* * *

**_Author's Comments:_**

Dear readers, this is NOT the end. Obviously, if this story is to deserve its title of Retribution, there will be more to follow. I wrote the remainder of the fic (about 8-10 chapters) a long time ago. I am still considering changes to the chapters I've already written but not yet uploaded. Might even rework the plot for those chapters. They went through one drastic revision already; I'm happier with the new story trajectory, but still not super-thrilled.

So I'll open it to the floor – what ideas do you folks have? What do you think should happen next? What do you want to see happen? I can't reveal the rest of the story here cos' it will spoil things for readers.

But if you don't mind spoilers and you want to offer suggestions, ping me. I don't promise I'll use every (or even any) suggestion I get (I gotta see how a suggestion will fit into the existing plot I've already written for the remainder of the tale) but you'll have my thanks whether I use your idea or not. If anything, sifting through what does not work will give us a better idea of what might work. And if I do use your idea, I'll acknowledge your contribution in the fic header. (No payment of any sort is to be expected though ;-)


	20. The Silence of the Grave

Synopsis: Kyuuzou's departure only brings more questions to Kanbei.

**Notes:**  
- See Chapter 2 of companion fic Happy Endings for whom the strange lock of hair belongs to and how it came to be in Kyuuzou's possession. (NO love interest, despite appearances.)

- As to the origin of the package, see Chapter 15.

_

* * *

In the northern city of Hokuhei…_

Ayame awoke with a start. Sweat was pouring down her forehead. In her dream she was young again, standing under the maple tree looking down at little Kyuuzou. He was lying on the ground motionless, blood staining his clothes. It was like what happened when she was 13 and he was 10, and yet different. This time there was more blood, much more blood. And the blood was spreading in ever widening circles. Young Ayame screamed and screamed. "It's not my fault! I didn't do it! I found him like this!" Then she had the strange thought that perhaps this time, it had nothing to do with her.

It was not that long ago when she received Kyuuzou's letter from Kanna. He was well, and sounded happier than he had been in a long time. He asked for more soy protein tablets. She had just sent him a whole stack of them. Everything was all right. But then why did she feel so sick? It was just a nightmare. Or was it?

Third Sister tried desperately to sense Fourth Sister's energy, even though she knew it would be futile. Their mental link worked only within a certain distance. Kanna or Kougakyo, or wherever else Kyuuzou might be, were all too far away.

---

_In Kanna…_

Shichiroji had given the dead samurai's garments to Kirara to wash and mend before the two human samurai were to be dressed for burial. With a heavy heart, the priestess washed Heihachi's blood-soaked clothes and hung them out to dry. Then she fetched a fresh bucket of water and poured it into the washing trough. The peasant woman dunked Kyuuzou's scarlet robe into the trough and watched the crimson blood diffuse through the clear water. She scrubbed the dress vigorously to get all the blood out of it. That was when something fell out of a hidden pocket on the inner side of the red robe.

It was a piece of human hair, dreaded in a slender lock. The color was dark brown – nearly black. It was obviously not Kyuuzou's hair. There were two beads – one white, one blue - attached to one end of the lock. Kirara stared at it in surprise. She never before thought of Kyuuzou as someone with human attachments. To whom did this hair belong? Did the silent samurai have a lover?

---

"Kanbei-sama…" Kirara said when the commander and Shichiroji came by to pick up the dead samurai's cleaned and mended garments. "Look what I found inside Kyuuzou's pocket."

She showed them the lock of dark hair she had carefully placed in a small piece of clean blue cloth. Kanbei's expression was unreadable. Judging by the beads decorating the lock, it was a woman's hair. The same question that Kirara asked herself came immediately to Kanbei's mind. Did Kyuuzou have a lover? A deceased beloved? Or a living woman waiting for him to return? That someone must obviously be of much import to the scarlet samurai if he were to carry a memento of her on his person. The thought stabbed at Kanbei's already pained soul. He had never thought it possible to feel such deep jealousy on account of a dead man.

Kirara waited for Kanbei's response, and receiving none, asked. "What shall we do with it?"

The dark samurai answered in a neutral tone. "Just put it back where you found it. We'll bury it with him." Then he turned and left abruptly. Shichiroji looked at his friend, confused. The blond quietly received the clean garments from the hand of Kirara and followed after his leader.

---

Kanbei watched without any show of emotion as they buried their three comrades beside Gorobei. His eyes rested on the twin swords over Kyuuzou's grave. What would he have given to hear all the quiet young man's secrets? But now all those secrets had gone to the silent grave with the pale warrior. Kanbei felt grief, regret and a deep dissatisfaction. But there was nothing he could do to bring Kyuuzou back.

Yet that was not the end of the mystery generated by the crimson swordfighter. Two days after the funeral, a package arrived in Kanna by turtle courier. It was addressed to Kyuuzou. The peasants brought the brown paper box to Kanbei. Everyone was curious and wanted to open it. Kanbei examined the package. There was no return address, but the writing on the box looked like a woman's handwriting. The dark ronin's thoughts wandered to the strange lock of dark hair Kirara found in Kyuuzou's red jacket. But as heavily tempted as Kanbei was to find answers about Kyuuzou's past, he decided to do the honorable thing and let the box keep its secrets. "We will not open the package without its owner's leave," he said. "We'll just leave it as an offering before Kyuuzou's grave."

The winter snows fell on the lonely box in front of Kyuuzou's crude grave. By the time spring came and the snow thawed, the paper box had started to come apart. When Kanbei came to visit the grave, he caught glimpses of small plastic packages through the holes in the brown paper box. But still, he resisted the temptation to rip the box open and examine its contents. He tried to console himself with the thought that Kyuuzou had someone who cared enough for him to send him a gift. But somehow, the thought brought the old ronin no joy. He once allowed himself the foolish wish that he could have that place in Kyuuzou's life. But that was not his fate. And now it seemed it could never be even if Kyuuzou had lived. The idea pained him.

The spring rains came and went. Rice planting season began. Now the paper box in front of Kyuuzou's grave had really fallen to pieces. Everyone could see its contents - the plastic packages labeled "soy protein tablets". There was a letter accompanying the packages, but even if Kanbei wanted to read the letter, the rains had already compacted it into an unreadable wad of stained paper.

"Just like everything between us," Kanbei thought. "Everything between Kyuuzou and me has turned out to be an unreadable, unsolvable muddle."

---

Kanbei left Kanna with Shichiroji during rice planting season. Sanae and Rikichi had finally reconciled and found peace together. Shimada Kanbei's work was done. He no longer had any reason to stay, so he left the graves of his comrades behind and continued on the road of life.

Still, sometimes in his dreams, the stern commander thought he could hear Kyuuzou calling his name. Those were painful dreams that left him feeling uneasy and unsatisfied when he awoke.

---

Three months had passed since Ayame sent the package to Kanna. There was no reply from Kyuuzou. Third Sister was concerned, but not overly so. After all, Kyuuzou had sometimes gone for months without writing while he was living in Kougakyo. Still, the dark woman felt a vague sense of unease whenever she remembered the strange nightmare. Three more months passed. There was still no word from 'Fourth Sister'.

By now Ayame could no longer ignore her instincts. She had the nagging feeling that something was wrong for a long time. Sometimes she could almost hear Kyuuzou calling to her, somewhere on the strange plane between mind and spirit. The war veteran left the running of "From Swords to Sewing Machines" to her assistant temporarily while she set out on a long trip.

-------

_Three weeks later…_

In the city of Kougakyo, a dark woman with dreadlocks stood before a tan woman in a spotless office.

"A pointless exercise," the researcher with golden brown skin said to her companion.

"Name your price, Sayoko-dono" the stubborn reply came from the dark-skinned woman with topaz eyes. "I can pay you in installments."

"What do you take me for, friend?" the scientist with the dark purple hair said as she raised her eyebrows. "We've been through a war together. You think that money is the issue?"

"Then WHAT is the problem?" the unsmiling woman with near-black hair asked as she crossed her arms with a hint of impatience. "It's just taking things one step further than what you usually do!"

"I already told you WHY it would not work!" Sayoko exclaimed with more than a hint of exasperation.

---

Kyuuzou found himself stuck in a never-ending nightmare. The scene would play itself over and over. He was drowning in a sea of blood. Each time he managed to break through the surface for air, the spirits of those he had slain would drag him back down into the crimson depths. Tessai was grabbing his left ankle, and Hyogo his right. He could have kicked free of both of them if not for the fact that Tessai and Hyogo were in turn weighed down by other dead samurai clinging on to them. And those other people were in turn being dragged down by yet more lost souls.

Kyuuzou sank into the crimson sea. He had nothing to hang on to. No way to save himself. As the sticky redness flooded his lungs, the once haughty warrior felt a real terror he had rarely known in life. Never before he had felt helpless enough to call for aid from another. "Mother!" he wordlessly screamed. "Aunt!!!"

The silent killer flailed about uselessly in the red sea as other tormented spirits pressed in around him. There was no escape. "Ayame!!!" Kyuuzou cried out in his mind. "Sister!!!" He never thought he would ever lose his pride enough to beg for help from the person whose 'help' he had always resented.

When the sickening red ooze closed in around him for what he thought would be the last time, the red samurai screamed once more. The unwanted, unsought-for words left his mouth before he could call them back. "Kanbei!!!"

Then he would drown again. And the dream would repeat itself.

But after a long time, he did not know how long, there was a break in the dream's predictable and horrific pattern. Kyuuzou was struggling helplessly in the red sea when he saw a brown hand reach down to him. A woman's hand with a 6-petal flower tattoo. It was Mother! He seized that hand and clung on .

The red warrior held onto the brown hand tightly as it pulled him out of the crimson sea. When he reached the surface, he took a big gasp of air, and looked up at the owner of the hand. It was Shizuka. Mother and Aunt stood before him on the shining shore of the blood red sea. Their faces were just as Kyuuzou remembered them, proud and noble. Yet there was a difference. They appeared ageless. Aunt no longer looked sick. As for Mother, the stern former soldier seemed gentler and kinder in death than in life. Kyuuzou felt as if he was a child again.

"I am so sorry, okaa-sama and oba-sama." Kyuuzou prostrated himself as he cringed with shame, "I wanted to send you a gift before I came here, or at least bring it to you. But…"

"We never expected you to bring us anything, dear child." Shizuka looked down on him kindly, with a hint of sadness in her eyes. "We just wanted you to live a good life."

"And have I lived a good life?" the pale samurai looked up at them, suddenly afraid.

"Only Heaven has the last word on a human life," Rumi said quietly.

Then the two figures started fading away before his eyes.

"Wait! Wait!" Kyuuzou cried out. He reached for Mother's hand…

There was a flash of light. Kyuuzou opened his eyes and found himself holding onto a brown hand. But its color was a shade darker than Mother's and there was no 6-petal flower tattoo on it. It was not Mother's hand.

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

OK, so Retribution has started up again. No ETA as to when I'm releasing the next chapter though. There are still some issues I'm thinking through with Kanbei's character and Kyuuzou's relationship with him. See my profile page for the questions I'm trying to answer and weigh in if you like.

- The Ayame section was inspired by a local news story of a man whose brother was killed while serving in Iraq. Before he received any notification of his brother's death, the man knew his sibling had died when he suddenly and inexplicably felt sick.


	21. Resurrection

**Warnings and Disclaimers:** See Chapter 1

**Notes:**

- Height specifications for this fic: Kyuuzou is 5'9". Ayame is 5'4". Haruko 6'1". Shizuka 6' 0". Kanbei 6'2". (From the S7 silhouette image, it seems Kanbei is about half a head taller than Kyuuzou)

- Kazumi first appeared in Wolf Warriors

Vocab:  
_kouhai_ – junior  
_ne-sama_ – honorable term of address for older sister  
_aniki _– honorable term of address for older brother.  
Sibling terms can be used with non-relatives as a familiar form of address.

* * *

The silent samurai looked up at the owner of the hand he was holding. It was Third Sister. Where were they? Was she dead too? He remembered the last time he saw Ayame in person. That was five years ago, just after the war ended. The three surviving 'sisters' had been discharged from the Army of the Confederated Prefectures. They made their way back to Sensei to pay their respects. Kyuuzou and Ayame reached Mount Keian first. Haruko sent word that she would follow soon after, that she had other matters to attend to. 

Big Sister came back to Mount Keian Dojo with a sad-faced 10 year old named Kazumi. Kyuuzou remembered her. She was the sole survivor of the slaughter in Hanatani Village four years ago. Second Sister had taken her to an orphanage in Sai'an.

Sensei then announced her retirement and made Haruko the new Sensei. Haruko would inherit Sensei's last disciple Yasue, a fourteen year old who joined Sensei's dojo after Kyuuzou left for the army.

Ayame planned to go visit her parents in her home city of Hokuhei. And as for what would follow next, she and some other female ex-samurai had ideas for a business venture. Kyuuzou had no concrete plans; unlike Ayame, he had no family to return to. And as for his home village, there was nothing left for him there except the pain of the past. The pain that had, however, grown duller as the hope for vengeance grew dimmer over the years. The world was vast and wide. What were the chances of ever meeting that nameless dark samurai again?

Third Sister asked Kyuuzou if he would like to go north with her, but he politely refused Ayame's offer to join her future startup company. He told Sensei and his seniors he would be heading south to Kougakyo to seek his fortune. Kougakyo was a bustling city built on the fortunes of the merchants who made their profits from the war. Almost everyone seemed to be headed that way. If there was any work to be found, it would be there.

Thus, the three students of Aikawa Sensei prepared to go their separate ways. But before they took their leave of each other, the fair-headed young man asked Ayame for a duel – a friendly match.

Of course Third Sister and Fourth 'Sister' had no intention of killing each other. But neither intended to give the other an easy victory. Kyuuzou had never beaten Ayame before. The last time they sparred was when she was 17 and he was 14, and then Third Sister left with Mizuho to join the army. Kyuuzou came to join Ayame's battalion when he was 16, but they never had the chance to fight against each other during the war. But at age 20, Kyuuzou was now taller than Ayame. A good five inches taller. Perhaps things would be different now.

So the two young ex-soldiers faced off in the training hall with Big Sister Haruko acting as referee. Haruko's new disciples Yasue and Kazumi came along to watch the match. The gray cat Kyuujiro wandered nonchalantly into the hall and watched the two humans with his dispassionate green eyes. As two pairs of twin blades clashed at lightning speed, the young Yasue cheered on both fighters at the same time. "Go, ne-sama! Go, aniki!"

Ayame's strength was her speed and energy. She could throw a flurry of combination techniques that overwhelmed opponents and gave them no chance to recover. But Big Sister, the master of timing and distancing, had taught Kyuuzou how to time such fighters. Sometimes, just sometimes, there was a very short pause when Ayame finished one technique combination and was about to launch another. If he could maintain a distance that was not too far but not too close, he could catch her in that vulnerable split second. It was far easier said than done, however. Ayame's well-honed reflexes were very quick.

Yet Kyuuzou succeeded in pulling off that feat of timing. He kept out of the range of Third Sister's blades, but stayed near enough to close in for a strike before she could launch her next barrage. The male samurai had a longer reach and used that to his advantage. Ayame parried but Kyuuzou shifted the angle of the strike so that it was not to Third Sister's advantage. The sword flew out of the dark woman's left hand. Ayame's lips pursed with annoyance but she did not miss a beat. She continued parrying and attacking with her remaining sword. But Kyuuzou noticed that Third Sister flicked the wrist of her disarmed hand lightly. Good, that meant her hand was more than a little numb. The impact really went home. The younger samurai could feel the glee well up within him.

The silent samurai decided to give the sometimes rather overbearing former officer a dose of her own medicine and launched into his own lightning-fast series of combination strikes. Now Ayame was on the defensive, cautiously trying to time him. Kyuuzou thought perhaps now he was the better fighter than "the goddess of speed." Those two years in another battalion away from her over-protective presence really helped. Victory was in sight. Then Ayame's strike went home and Kyuuzou's sword flew out of his left hand. The young man's wrist stung. The woman smirked.

So they were down to one sword against one sword. The blond warrior kept up the pressure. He tried backing Ayame towards a large pillar, hoping to corner her, but the dark-haired woman retained her awareness of her surroundings and did not allow his aggressiveness to disrupt her footwork. Kyuuzou's senpai did not retreat, but rather side-stepped and kept attacking him from an oblique angle. After a few exchanges, Kyuuzou thought he had figured out her strategy. So when the golden-eyed fighter side-stepped and tried to strike at him again, he rotated his torso to avoid her blade and simultaneously closed in. The young man grabbed Ayame's sword hand with his free left hand, and brought his sword to her neck. Or at least tried to.

Before Kyuuzou's blade could touch Ayame's skin, she stepped in and trapped his sword arm in the crook of her free elbow. Then, in one small quick motion, Ayame rotated the hand in his grip to bring the pommel of her sword down on the side of his wrist joint. As the control technique pulled Kyuuzou forward and downward towards Ayame, the golden-eyed woman conveniently smashed her forehead into his nose, or rather, smashed his nose into her forehead. It was a light blow by Ayame standards, but it did not take much to damage the tissues of a fragile human nose. Kyuuzou was stunned but he did not wince or even change his expression as his eyes reflexively filled with tears. Crimson blood dribbled from his nostrils down to his chin. The fair-headed young man could taste blood on his lips. He heard the child Kazumi give a gasp of alarm.

"Enough!" Big Sister declared. "Duel over!" The cat Kyuujiro gave an indifferent meow, as if to say "What's new?" Then the gray feline casually rose and left the room.

Ayame released Kyuuzou. Then they bowed to each other. "Waaah… ouch!" Yasue giggled. "Ne-sama kicked Aniki's butt!" Haruko silenced her new student with a stern stare. Yasue immediately put on an appropriately repentant expression, but Kyuuzou still noticed a smirk pulling at his junior's lips. The young man turned his eyes back to Ayame. Oh, how he hated some female fighters, especially those born outside the samurai class, the silent warrior thought. They really fought dirty!

"Well, ototo-chan, you have improved since the last time we sparred." Ayame said encouragingly to the younger samurai. "I was lucky this time. Next time, you may very well be the victor."

Small comfort for his smarting nose, which was fortunately not broken. Still, Kyuuzou counted himself lucky. Had it been a life-and-death duel, Ayame would have done worse than head butt him. Some called Ayame "a soul like a naked double edged blade." Kyuuzou was not sure he could disagree.

Even so, Kyuuzou could not think of another fighter who could pressure Third Sister to the point she was desperate enough to use a head butt in a one-on-one match, except for Haruko and Mizuho. But Ayame would _never_ dare to head butt Big Sister or Second Sister. That left only Kyuuzou for Ayame to freely beat the c--- out of. The young samurai bowed graciously to both his senpai. "If I am ever the victor," Kyuuzou said. "It is only because I have learnt from the best."

Then the youngest samurai addressed Major Haruko. "O-ne-sama, I am leaving now to seek my fortune in Kougakyo. I know not what the future will bring. I will leave my share of Second Sister's remains here at Sensei's for safekeeping."

The taller samurai nodded in acknowledgment. Kyuuzou bowed again to his sisters, deferentially retreated a few steps and then picked up his travel bag. He turned to Yasue, who quickly answered his unspoken question. "Have no fear, I have been taking care of Kyuujiro and will continue to do so. Not that he needs much taking care of anyway."

Kyuuzou nodded at the ebony-skinned girl. Then he turned his back on the dojo and began to walk down the mountain towards the open highway. "Hey, don't forget to write!" Captain Ayame called out after him.

That was the last time Kyuuzou had seen Third Sister before today.

"Still, can anyone blame a girl for doing what a girl has to do to survive?" Kyuuzou thought as he recalled the graceless duel. "Battles are ugly. They are never as gloriously graceful as they are in storybooks. And duels are never sexy either, except when Shimada Kanbei is involved. Wait a minute, where did that thought come from?"

"Kyuu-chan?" Ayame's voice brought him back to the present.

"What…" Kyuuzou began to ask as he slowly sat up and stared around him. He was lying on a strange bed in a strange lab. Ayame was sitting beside him. The dark-haired woman looked strangely worn and haggard, almost like a corpse herself. Despite her weary appearance, she turned and shouted triumphantly at someone, "It worked!!! We succeeded!"

That was when Kyuuzou noticed there was another presence in the room. He looked at the person Ayame was addressing. It was a familiar face. He stared at Ayame's companion with confused eyes.

Ayame turned her attention back to Kyuuzou. Then, following the direction of his gaze, she looked at her friend and then back to Kyuuzou. "It's Sayoko, remember?" she said to the red samurai in a cheerful, yet tired voice. "We're in her lab in Kougakyo."

"Sayoko?" Kyuuzou spoke in a voice that sounded strangely disembodied, at least to his own ears.

"Our friend from the Great War!" Ayame continued talking despite the fact she looked like she was about to drop dead, "The samurai known as 'I-kill-people-but-I-don't-eat-animals'-dono!!"

A vague glint of recognition came into Kyuuzou's red eyes as he looked at the person standing before him. "Ah, I remember," he thought. "The vegetarian Yakan pilot who supplied Ayame with soy protein. She was always going around the barracks trying to get enough signatures on her petition to put more vegetarian options on the mess hall menu."

"I hate it when you call me that," the vegetarian war veteran spoke up. But she did not sound too annoyed.

"Sorry," Ayame gave a wry smile as she turned towards her friend, but she did not sound too repentant. Ayame turned her attention back to Kyuuzou and continued addressing him in a rather tired voice. "Your new body might need some getting used to, but I hope you can cope with the changes and remain the same nice, quiet, unassuming little brother. If not, I might have to head butt you into submission, or bludgeon you into good behavior, depending on your level of offensiveness." she smirked weakly. The young man knew Ayame well enough to know that Third Sister was only half-joking.

The topaz-eyed woman then launched into the lecture that Kyuuzou had heard many times while growing up.

_"A good man must be unassuming,  
Modest and self-effacing,  
Must never talk back to his elders,  
Except under justified circumstances,  
Must respect all women  
As he would his mothers and sisters…"_

Kyuuzou felt the old familiar annoyance rise within him. He had already adhered assiduously to that code of honor. Did he ever behave in a way to necessitate a reminder? Must she always perform a 'pre-emptive strike' by nagging him before he even did something wrong? That was just like her fighting style – to go in for the pre-emptive strike before the opponent has a chance to react or resist. He sighed inwardly. But before his senpai could finish her recitation, Ayame toppled off her chair and sank to the ground.

"What…" Kyuuzou tried to climb out of bed to assist his unconscious sister, but his limbs seemed tardy in responding to his commands.

"Stay where you are," Sayoko commanded as she strode over and carefully lifted the unconscious woman. She eased her friend onto a narrow bed and inserted an intravenous drip into Ayame's arm.

Then the dark-haired war veteran turned and addressed Kyuuzou again. "You have not quite adjusted to your new body yet. It will take some time. Your sister will be fine if she rests and recharges. She used up most of her ki trying to restore your life force, that's all."

Kyuuzou stared at Sayoko in puzzlement.

"Ayame-dono did not hear from you for months, so she traveled to Kanna to seek you." The purple-haired woman explained. "The villagers told her you died. So Ayame came to me. She knew that I went back to school to finish my graduate degree in biotechnology after the war. Then I made a living growing organs and body parts for transplant patients using their own DNA. Ayame-dono wanted to know if I could replicate your physical form at the exact same age it was when you died. I said it was possible, but I asked her why she would want to do something like that. She said she wanted to bring you back from the dead because she owed you something."

The scientist paused. Kyuuzou stared at her. Did she mean he had just been resurrected? If this was a new body and a new life, then why did he see things the way he did before – through scarlet lenses? It could only mean one thing… this was not a new life. His old sins had not been cleansed away. There was an old blood debt to settle. His life had no meaning beyond killing that man, whether he was Kanbei or someone else.

Sayoko continued talking as she stood up and walked over to the water cooler. "I had to explain to Ayame that it would be a pointless exercise - 'Growing' a new body without going through the incubation and birth process would only produce a lifeless form that has to be hooked up to a life support system. The body would not be you. It does not have its own soul or inner energy. And even if someone performed the extraordinary feat of transferring enough living ki to an empty body, it may breathe on its own for a while, but it cannot sustain itself as living humans do. It would be just like a mindless mecha without a human soul to direct its operations. But you know how stubborn your sister is. She still wanted to try."

The brown-skinned woman filled a porcelain cup with water and handed it to Kyuuzou. The resurrected warrior sipped at the life-giving fluid, and his mind started to clear a little as the dark-haired ex-samurai continued her tale.

"So your sister went back to Kanna and retrieved your remains. Your old body was really quite decomposed but I managed to get some DNA out of your hair and nails. So I created a new form according to your genetic information. Ayame did a ki transfer to your cloned body. I could actually measure the electromagnetic field of the energy flow. An ordinary human would not be capable of pulling off something like that. But I guess your Sensei has trained her students very well. Just as I thought, the body started to breathe, but it showed no sign of consciousness. It would be only a matter of time before this externally-infused ki dissipates and the body has to go back to the life support system, or dies."

Sayoko glanced at Ayame's inert form lying on the other bed. She was breathing evenly. The scientist's expression relaxed. Then she turned back to Kyuuzou. "Now the question was how to call your soul back to your body, which is beyond my skill as a scientist. But Ayame-dono held your hand and went into meditation for two days. I didn't think it would work. But miraculously, you came back. I can't explain it!" Sayoko was now speaking in a rather animated tone. "I heard the rumor that the two of you have a psychic connection. That you can find each other within a certain distance without using sight or sound. Is that true? Maybe she used this mental link to pull you back from the realm of the dead. That's the only explanation I can think of. You'll have to tell me of your experience in going to the realm of the dead and coming back! But perhaps we should continue this discussion another day. I see that you need some time to adjust to your new existence."

Kyuuzou smiled weakly. He remembered how Ayame was always able to sense his energy on the battlefield and fight her way over to him and 'rescue' him. That was annoying. But still, there was no denying they could detect each other's ki if they concentrated hard enough, though she exercised her part of the mental link much more often than he did his part.

Yes, the quiet loner and Third Sister did have a strange bond. Much as they disliked each other, he knew she would be willing to die to save his life, and he would do the same for her. Despite all the unhappiness of the past, Kyuuzou believed there was no one besides his two sisters, at least no one still alive, who would be willing to die for him. No one.

Sayoko's voice brought him back to the present. "By the way, your new body does not have the muscle memory of your old body, so even motions that are familiar to your mind may not be as quick as they once were."

Kyuuzou contemplated that information for a moment then he asked, "Where are my swords?"

"In my apartment, with Ayame-dono's baggage," Sayoko replied.

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

Head butting technique was inspired by an article in a martial arts magazine, in which a female martial artist demonstrating self defense pulls the guy in to smash his nose into her forehead. So yes, that's how real women fight. Sorry to those expecting some sexy, graceful fight scene. I don't think female characters are under any obligation to be more graceful, 'attractive' and 'appealing' than male characters are ;-). For more head butting women, in the film Three Heroes of the East, one of the female characters head butts a guy who is an unfeeling killing machine, but unfortunately that man had been reinforced structurally, so it was 'ouch'! for the heroine. Xena used head butts in her fights too.

- Kyuuzou is, in a sense, color blind. He sees everything through red lenses. But because he was able to see full color until age 10, he can make fair guesses at the true colors of things by doing a mental 'color correction. For the origin of Kyuuzou's red vision, see companion fic Unforgiven.

- Institutes of higher learning are probably not out of place on whatever planet S7 is happening on. That planet had achieved quite a high level of technological sophistication, with the giant mecha and weapons of mass destruction. And cloning. So it is not improbable that people were going to graduate school and becoming researchers.

- On Earth, universities already existed in the old days. Of course, departments of study tend to differ somewhat from modern universities. Medieval Europe and medieval Africa had their universities; three campuses in Timbuktu, Mali alone. And there were even older universities in Asia. The oldest university in the world is Takshashila University in India. (around 700 BCE) Nalanda University, also in India, was a famous 5th century Buddhist university which attracted foreign students such as the famous Tang Sanzang from China, the historical personality on which Sanzou (Japanese pronunciation of 'Sanzang') of Saiyuki is loosely based. (The real life Sanzang, in all likelihood, is NOT a gun-totin' blond. ;-)


	22. Crossing Paths

Vocab:_ oni _–demon

* * *

Kyuuzou and Ayame thanked Sayoko for her help. Ayame wanted to pay Sayoko but the former samurai would not hear of it. For a while, they stayed with Sayoko in the scientist's Kougakyo apartment. Third Sister had entered another state of prolonged meditation to restore her lost ki. After using up nearly all her ki to revive Kyuuzou, Ayame needed to recover her strength before she could make the journey back home to the north.

Kyuuzou too, was still in a rather uncoordinated state after his resurrection. Dr Sayoko put the younger samurai through some physical therapy exercises to condition his new body. But the busy scientist had to work during the daytime. For most of the daylight hours, Kyuuzou had to work through the exercises on his own. Nor did he wish to impose too much on their host in the evenings. After all, Sayoko also had to attend to Ayame, who came out of meditation once a day to eat.

In about a week, Kyuuzou had gotten used to the daily motions of walking, running, jumping, gripping and sitting. He then took his swords down to the nearly always empty parking garage of Sayoko's apartment building and started to practice his sword work. (The parking rates in Kougakyo had become so exorbitant it was prohibitively expensive to own an iron-ox carriage!) Sayoko was right – the new body did not have the muscle memory of his old body. All those years of training and conditioning were lost. "Too slow!" he thought as he went through a series of straight-down and angled strikes.

The limber warrior tried to do a few running jump-flips against the building wall, but found that he did not quite have the abdominal muscle strength to pull off those acrobatic feats. Kyuuzou sighed with frustration. "I have to do more work on physical conditioning!"

He remembered how he and Ayame used to run from the town of Kawara all the way back up Mount Keian carrying sacks of rice on their backs. When he was still a novice at Mount Keian, Ayame was already carrying the 50 pound sack. Little Kyuuzou started with 20 pounds of rice but that was coming close to killing him. Over time, the training paid off. Within four years he was running at full speed with 50 pounds of rice on his back and 10 pound weights strapped to his legs. And when the boy set his burden down, he felt as if he could soar. That was how Sensei trained her students to achieve those gravity-defying leaps. But how long is it going to take his new body to reach the same level of conditioning? The frustrating thought ran obsessively through his mind.

There were other obsessive thoughts that came to him whenever his mind was less guarded. Thoughts of the time Shimada Kanbei embraced him possessively in the forest outside Kanna. Memories of how the dark man had forcibly kissed him in the House of the Fireflies. Rather unwanted visions that left Kyuuzou feeling bothered and irritated.

Before entering her meditation session, Ayame had warned Kyuuzou about the effects of 'excess testosterone' – increased irritability, aggression and yes, sex drive. And she had lectured him on how he must now work hard to control the 'baser impulses' of his new body. Kyuuzou was not sure if he entirely agreed with Third Sister's evaluation. "If heightened levels of irritability and aggression are due purely to testosterone, then Ayame must have excess testosterone," the young man smirked to himself. Then Sayoko had said women have testosterone too.

"Still, Ayame was right about some things," Kyuuzou thought. "This new body is annoying."

When the weekend came around, Sayoko put Kyuuzou through some speed and strength drills. Kyuuzou was grateful to have another samurai around to train him as Third Sister was still in meditation. The young man needed to reach top fighting form as soon as possible. He knew he was far from ready to defeat Kanbei in his current state. "As soon as Ayame leaves Kougakyo," the silent samurai made his plans, "I will go to Kanna to seek Kanbei. I hope he is still there. But if he isn't, perhaps the villagers can tell me where to find him."

Ayame came out of self-imposed isolation just in time for dinner every evening. Over dinner, Sayoko would entertain her two guests with gossip about the strange things that happened in Kougakyo after the Capital fell. "Well, as you know, the Prince of Kougakyo succeeded the old Amanushi last year as Emperor," the purple-haired ex-soldier was saying, "But there was no information in Kougakyo as to when our governor Ayamaro would be back. Some said he was staying with his son in the Capital. But still, it seemed unlike him to leave the government to the running of others without sending word about an expected date of return. Then there were rumors that our governor had been seen around the city after Ukyo came back to Kougakyo for the public execution of that what's-his-name?" Sayoko waved her chopsticks absent-mindedly as if that would jog her memory.

Kyuuzou of course knew the name of what's-his-name. In fact, he witnessed some of the events Sayoko mentioned, but the silent warrior let the ex-samurai known as "I-kill-people-but-I-don't-eat-animals"-dono do all the talking. There were probably some events she knew about that he did not, considering that he had been dead for about half a year.

Sure enough, the vegetarian veteran continued dishing out bits of informative gossip between bites of tofu: "Not long later, there was news that the Capital had crashed and burned near Kanna Village in Tanba Prefecture. There were no survivors. That was when Ayamaro reappeared out of nowhere – some say he had been hiding out in Iyashi no Sato – and returned to the governor's palace. He changed the Constitution of Kougakyo to make the governorship an elected office instead of an inherited position. It seems that our lord had lost interest in ruling the city. He appointed Chieko, head of the Social Services Department, as the interim governor. Municipal elections are scheduled to be held in the fall. So far, Chieko has been doing a decent job. I think she might get to keep her seat after the Fall Elections."

Kyuuzou had never seen Chieko. But he had heard of her. The elderly woman was an efficient bureaucrat, or so it had been said. One of the few who actually got things done. Kyuuzou's pink-haired colleague Nose Band Guy had worked for other city governments before. Nose Band Guy once said the social services departments in other cities were much worse – they self-sabotaged their programs out of fear that success would mean their own oblivion. So-called "helping" professionals deliberately avoided dealing with the root causes of the problems that kept people coming to social support services. In fact, they sometimes even tacitly contributed to them so that they would always have clients and never lose funding. But according to Nose Band Guy, Kougakyo's government had somehow avoided falling into the same trap, partly because Ayamaro had no patience with inefficiency. He always wanted to stamp out the root causes of problems, though Kyuuzou was forced to admit his old employer went a little far with the samurai hunt. Or rather, misidentified the 'root cause' and targeted his efforts at the wrong people. Still, the former governor had dealt well with 'successful programs' – departments that were no longer needed were given new mandates instead of being dismantled. So his civil servants had no fear of doing their best.

"So how is Ayamaro doing now?" the quiet samurai finally asked.

"Oh, he left Kougakyo. There are rumors he is taking some time off in Shikimori Land," the vegetarian ex-samurai said between mouthfuls of gluten puffs, "Supposedly, old Maro is helping the Shikimori with municipal planning in the capacity of a consultant. I've heard that Chieko can still get in touch with him if she has questions concerning the transition of duties. By the way, are you still in contact with your old boss?" Sayoko turned to Kyuuzou.

The scarlet-eyed samurai shook his head. But this conversation reminded him he needed to return to his old quarters in the governor's palace. He had personal property there he needed to reclaim. That is, assuming Ukyo's thugs had not trashed his room and thrown his stuff out after he left Ayamaro's service without giving notice. His blood pressure rose at that thought but he mastered his anger with some effort. There was no point getting upset over what may or may not be. Still, Kyuuzou planned to visit his old quarters as soon as he felt more confident about his combat abilities.

Sayoko continued rambling, "Seems like the new Kougakyo Government has a lot of work. After the Imperial Court was destroyed, the prefectures and city-states are now basically independent realms and each state governor fears the expansionist ambitions of other states. All city governors and daimyos who have the means are organizing self-defense corps, or to use an unfashionable term, armies. Kougakyo too is following the trend."

"If we're 'lucky', we will descend once more into another Warring States era, the age of the samurai. It seems a 6-year break from war is too long." Ayame quipped, "The northern states have formally declared their secession from the Empire, calling themselves the Northern Bloc. At least their daimyos have sworn not to fight each other. We'll see how long those promises hold."

Kyuuzou pondered these strange events.

--

By the end of the second week, Ayame was nearly well enough to travel. She was planning to leave Kougakyo for Hokuhei in a few days. Third Sister told Kyuuzou that he was welcome to follow her back to "From Swords to Sewing Machines". But the crimson samurai politely declined. He said he had other business to settle first.

By now, there was hardly any food left in Sayoko's apartment. The vegetarian ex-samurai had been too busy to go shopping and there were two additional mouths to feed. The two guests told their host they would go grocery shopping to replenish her supplies. Ayame also needed to take some food with her on her return trip anyway. Before the two left the apartment for the market in downtown Kougakyo, Ayame produced a paper package out of her traveling bag.

"Look what I brought you!" Third Sister beamed as she handed him the box. Kyuuzou controlled the urge to roll his eyes. Ayame was addressing him in the tone that grownups used on pampered children. It was a good thing Sayoko had already left for her office and was not around to witness this embarrassment.

Kyuuzou unwrapped the paper package. Instantly his irritation evaporated. The package contained an elegant long dress exactly like the one he used to have. "Courtesy of 'From Swords to Sewing Machines' again," Ayame declared proudly. "Made by our most recent batch of graduates."

"Thank you, ne-sama!" Kyuuzou said as he put the red dress on.

--

Early summer found Rikichi in Kougakyo. Some of the Kanna peasants had brought their produce to the city to sell. Rikichi came with them to set up his stall. He had gone to a public restroom and was on his way back to the stall when he saw Shichiroji, Kanbei, and Katsushiro sitting in a teahouse across the street. So he called out to them. "Hey, Kanbei-sama, Shichiroji-dono! And isn't that Katsushiro-dono?"

The three turned and looked at him in surprise. Rikichi made his way over to the teashop. "Fancy finding you all here. I thought you three samurai had split up and gone your separate ways."

"That was indeed the case when we left Kanna," said Shichiroji, "But all roads pass through Kougakyo, I guess. We unexpectedly ran into Katsushiro here. Katsushiro was just telling us he had found work in Kougakyo's newly organized self-defense corps. So we decided to enjoy some tea together before our paths diverge again. Do join us."

"I would love to," the farmer replied, "But I really must go soon to help Sanae set up our stall at the Farmers' Market. Now that the Nobuseri are gone, there's enough for the villagers to eat and even some produce left over to sell. Thanks to you." Rikichi bowed deeply.

Shichiroji smiled weakly. The price had been high.

"By the way, a strange thing happened a few days after you and Kanbei-sama left." Rikichi added, "A woman came to Kanna asking for Kyuuzou-dono. Carried twin swords too, like him. But she wore one across her back and the other in her belt."

"A woman?" Kanbei asked, frowning slightly. The dark samurai remembered the lock of dark hair found in Kyuuzou's pocket, and the strange package that had arrived in Kanna after they buried Kyuuzou.

Rikichi continued his tale, "Yes. It was a woman. But that's not the strange thing. She said she was Kyuuzou's sister. I don't know if I believe her though. She looks nothing like him. Dark hair and dark skin. Very beautiful… But that isn't the strange thing either."

"Oh?" said Shichiroji. His curiosity was piqued.

"We had to tell her the bad news, of course." Rikichi continued. "The dark woman then asked to visit his grave. We were happy to oblige her. She told us she was the person who sent Kyuuzou that box we placed in front of his grave. The woman retrieved her box - or whatever was left of it - and left Kanna. We thought nothing more of the matter. Until about two weeks later."

"What happened?" Kanbei broke in. Shichiroji glanced sideways at his former commander, a little surprised at Kanbei's seeming impatience.

"Komachi and Okara went to offer rice at the graves and they noticed that Kyuuzou's swords were gone. They ran back to the village and told the rest of us. Some of the men and I went to the gravesite and we saw it was just as the children had said. And it looked like the earth on Kyuuzou-dono's grave had been disturbed! So we opened the grave, and found that the body was no longer there!"

"But where…" Katsushiro began.

"That's what we'd like to know!" Rikichi exclaimed. "My guess is that woman, his sister or whoever she is, took his remains with her. But this happened more than two weeks after we'd seen her leave. She might have returned later of course, but one would think that she should at least have the courtesy to let us know she was back to move Kyuuzou-dono's remains!"

Katsushiro looked over to his Sensei. Kanbei's expression seemed to have grown darker. Just then, Rikichi, who had been staring at some distant point over Kanbei's shoulder, stood up and pointed, "There's that woman I was talking about! Over there!!!"

Kanbei whipped his head around and saw her, a woman wearing double katana, in front of the fruit stall across the street. She was picking through a pile of fruit, seemingly oblivious to the three samurai and one farmer staring at her from across the street. Kanbei's eyes narrowed as he studied her. The dark-skinned woman was probably a little older than Kyuuzou. The stranger wore her dark hair in slender dreadlocks. Kanbei's mind immediately went to the beaded lock of hair Kirara had found in the pocket of Kyuuzou's red robe. There were no beads in this woman's hair as there were on the lock found on the dead man, but Kanbei noticed similar blue and white beads hanging from the pommel of her swords. It must be her. The woman in Kyuuzou's life. "Rikichi was right," Kanbei thought with a pang of jealousy. "She is conveniently gorgeous." The dark woman had bold, beautiful features; her form held the perfect balance between delicate and strong.

The dark ronin was not the only one staring at the dark-haired woman. Shichiroji's expression had turned grim. He remembered the desperate sky battle the year before the Great War ended – the attack against the enemy's Sky Fortress over the skies of the Northern Front.

The fighting was fierce and desperate as the defenders tried to intercept the attacking aircraft. Kanbei had jumped out of Shichiroji's flying cannon and was fighting his way towards the Pavilion, using the enemy's flying mecha as stepping stones. Since the fortress's firepower was focused on the attacking aircraft and mecha, a human samurai outside a machine stood a better chance of breaching the enemy's defense line undetected.

Shichiroji kept an eye on his commander while trying to steer his aircraft out of the line of enemy fire. Then he saw that Kanbei was not the only one with the idea of using flying robots as stepping stones. An enemy officer was making her way through the sky on the shoulders of her Red Spider comrades. Only her progress was much faster since the mecha were working with her, and not against her. She would soar from the shoulders of one mechanized comrade to land on an approaching Allied aircraft or Raiden. With a flash of her twin swords, she would incapacitate the metallaic enemy, and then leap off the falling aircraft onto the shoulder of another passing robot. Her twin blades were already stained black with grease and red with the blood of Shichiroji's comrades.

So their intelligence had been right. The Confederated Aerial Assault Squadrons were carrying members of elite infantry units into sky battles. Human samurai could conduct sneak attacks more easily than the large mecha. Shichiroji had also heard of the Confederated Army using ninja commandos, but he did not think this enemy soldier was a shinobi. She was a samurai in full uniform.

The aide saw the enemy samurai turn her head in the direction of Kanbei, who was still leaping from mecha to mecha. The samurai said something to the mecha she was standing on, and they flew towards Shichiroji's commander. The aide flew his plane right at the enemy samurai to cut them off. One blast from his plane's cannon cut the Red Spider in half at the waist. The explosion threw the woman on its shoulder into the air. But as the metal samurai fell from the sky, its human comrade flipped into a mid-air somersault and landed right on Shichiroji's plane. That was when he stared Death in the face. She was dark as the night and her cold eyes glowed a strange yellow.

The aide had heard a legend of a samurai on the other side; a nameless berserker of surpassing skill. According to the rumors, perhaps that thing should not even be called a samurai. His comrades said it was a demon warrior who respected no rules. On Shichiroji's side, there were no clear accounts of what the oni might have looked like, partly because their enemy the Confederated Army had the policy of keeping the identities and if possible the very existence of its best warriors, strategists and operatives unknown, or at least out of the limelight. Shimada Kanbei had been a legendary warrior in the Allied Forces, and many samurai on Shichiroji's side had aspired to be called 'legends'. But the Confederated Army had few if any known legends, though it certainly had within its ranks warriors who had the might and character of which legends are made. Perhaps the samurai of the Allied Forces learnt too late that raw courage, individual heroes and the quest for glory do not win wars; sound strategies and seamless cooperation do.

There was another reason why no one in the Allied Forces had a good account of what the war demon looked like. Those Allied soldiers who had the misfortune to get a close view of the oni warrior did not survive. At that moment, the blond man wondered it he was looking at the legend. But a samurai could not waver, even if he saw only defeat in his path.

Shichiroji grabbed his spear as he heard the demon's swords sing through the air.

That was more than 5 years ago, but how could one forget? Now Momotarou had found the oni again. The former aide was about to speak to Kanbei when he saw the woman casually put down the apple she was holding and walk briskly away from the stall, apparently having abandoned her shopping plans. As if on cue, the two men rose from their seats and dashed out of the teahouse. Katsushiro hesitated for a moment and then ran after them.

**

* * *

Notes:**

The 'demon-warrior' that Shichiroji heard of might **not** have been Ayame. It could just as easily have been Kyuuzou. Or it could have been both of them conflated as one legend.

In the timeline of this fic, Kyuuzou was no longer in Ayame's battalion by the last year of the war, so he was not present at the battle against Shichiroji and Kanbei's regiment. For timeline details, see my profile page.

- The idea that the Confederated Army kept its best human assets 'secret' and discouraged quests for personal glory came from Sun Tzu's Art of War and an accompanying commentary that included battle case studies.

- As to what was in the box that Ayame sent to Kyuuzou, see Chapter 15: Return to Kougakyo.

- As for why Ayame no longer wore beads in her hair, see Chapter 2 of companion fic Happy Endings.


	23. Confrontation!

Ayame knew she was being watched, and as the dark beauty walked briskly down the crowded Kougakyo street, she sensed there were at least two men following her. "As long as I stay on the main street," the yellow-eyed woman thought, "they will not dare to attack me."

"What manner of evildoers are these?" she wondered. "How many other people have they harmed before? Maybe I should lead them down a side street and terminate them."

Ayame deliberately slowed her step to allow her stalkers to overtake her so she could gauge their skill level first. Sure enough, a handsome middle-aged samurai abruptly cut in front of her, blocking her way. "He has very strong ki," Ayame thought as she evaluated the brown-skinned ronin standing before her. This might not be an easy kill.

"He's pretty bold to accost me on a crowded street," Kyuuzou's Third Sister mentally concluded as she shifted her stance to move out of Kanbei's range. "So, this is the manner of shameless villain who does not care if his misdeeds are witnessed by all under heaven."

Shimada asked point-blank, "Who are you? And what did you do with Kyuuzou's body?"

"Who in the world is this?" the dark woman thought, "I don't have to answer his questions!"

Ayame considered her options. It would not be fair to draw her swords on an unarmed man. But it had been a long time since she had the excuse to beat someone to a pulp, and the Wolf woman might just enjoy another all-out brawl. The veteran had kept in good training even after the Great War. Ayame would love to head butt this tall samurai into oblivion, but it wasn't a practical choice considering the height difference. Still, there were other techniques in her arsenal. Class strictures did not apply to the merchant's daughter, nor did she believe in samurai notions of 'honor in combat'. Biting, hair pulling, and of course, ripping other people's earrings off were all techniques in her arsenal. Oh yes! She'll make that tall man regret that he kept his hair so long and wore unnecessary jewelry.

The two dark-haired warriors glared at each other.

Shichiroji had only just managed to catch up with Kanbei. His friend was unarmed. The old samurai's sword was in Katsushiro's possession. Shichiroji thought his former commander must have gone mad to confront an armed fighter head on. And not just any common fighter. Shichiroji could tell that this woman was dangerous even if he had not met her before. He was sure Shimada Kanbei could also detect the strong ki level of a highly-trained warrior.

Kanbei took another step forward but the woman with brilliant yellow eyes did not back down. She looked askance at him with a cold haughtiness which reminded him of Kyuuzou. Shimada glared down at the dark woman and asked again in a stern voice, "Where is Kyuuzou's body?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You must have mistaken me for someone else." Ayame replied calmly even as she saw two more people run up to Kanbei and Shichiroji. One was a man in his early thirties. The other was a boy in his mid teens. She would hate to kill them all. But perhaps it could not be avoided.

Rikichi, newly arrived on the scene with Katsushiro, chipped in, "It's her, without a doubt."

Ayame recognized the farmer. The game was over. In a flash, the fighter had drawn her twin swords.

With one quick step, Shichiroji moved in front of the unarmed Kanbei, keeping his walking stick between himself and the threat.

"This grave robber is also the enemy samurai who chopped my arm off!" the blond declared as he fixed his cold blue eyes on the dark swordswoman. A gasp rose from passers by as Shichiroji's stick extended into a three pronged spear.

Alarmed bystanders were now leaving the scene as fast as they could.

---

Kyuuzou despised grocery shopping. It was a mundane task he would rather not waste his mind upon. During his 5 years with Ayamaro, the silent samurai had been thoroughly spoiled by the free room and board in the governor's palace. He did not have to cook. If there was someone else around to do the shopping for him, the scarlet warrior would let that someone do it. Thus, Kyuuzou let Third Sister go off on her own to do the grocery shopping while he went into a bookstore. Ayame said she would return to collect him after she was finished with her shopping at the market.

The crimson warrior picked up a yaoi comic book and started reading it. It was not his type of pairing, but he was bored and the art was decent. So he idly leafed through the pages. He had almost gotten to the most likely not-very-exciting finale when he perceived danger. A killing aura. But it was not close by. A highly-trained fighter like himself could detect the presence of other people nearby even without needing to see them. But the odd warning of distant danger that Kyuuzou now felt was not the result of well-trained senses. It reached him on the level of the subconscious.

He knew it was Ayame. She was the only person who shared a mental link with him, as far as he knew. They could detect each other's locations within a one mile radius. Quickly, he left the bookstore and dashed down the street. Now he could sense Ayame's presence a few blocks away. But he also sensed someone else. Kanbei.

---

Ayame kept one sword in front of her and held the other one at a side angle in anticipation of fighting multiple attackers. The dark warrior had still not yet regained her full strength. She figured she could probably kill the blond if he was alone. But there were two other samurai with him. There was the child who had just drawn his sword. A weaker fighter, but still a potentially troublesome distraction. And there was the tall dark samurai glaring at her. The former soldier knew that this man should not be underestimated even though he was unarmed. Of all three samurai, this was the one she was the most concerned about.

The woman played for time. She spoke calmly to Shichiroji, "Well, I don't recall ever meeting you."

Ayame was telling the truth. She did not remember ever crossing paths with the blond samurai, not to mention cutting off his arm.

Shichiroji shook with fury. "You don't remember the Allied assault on the Sky Fortress in Genna 8?"

"Oh yes, I remember now," Ayame answered. "The battle in which we kicked your butt. You are the Allied cannon plane pilot who did those crazy aerial turns, right?"

Shichiroji's jaw clenched as he glared at Ayame.

"Well, many men cannot remember every woman they've ever kissed," Ayame added in an annoyingly flippant tone, "So it should not come as a surprise that a woman cannot remember every man whose arm she had cut off."

An incensed Shichiroji started forward but Kanbei put a restraining hand on his shoulder. "No, she has to answer my questions first."

Ayame ignored Kanbei and continued speaking to Shichiroji. "You should not take it personally," she told the blond. "It was war. You tried to kill me first. If I had not disabled you, I would be dead. What did you expect enemy soldiers to do? Just sit there and let you destroy them?"

Shichiroji bristled.

Ayame went on, "The Great War is over. Let's not start the killing again, all right?"

All this while, the woman was slowly moving out of Shichiroji's range.

"All right, but I'll settle for your arm!" Shichiroji yelled as he launched his attack.

Ayame smoothly side-stepped. Shichiroji's first strike went wide. He recovered quickly, spinning around to swing the spear at the woman. It was then a flash of red streaked between the two duelists.

There was a sharp clang of clashing metal as Shichiroji's spear met twin blades. But they were not the woman warrior's twin blades.


	24. Reunion

Notes:  
- Ayame is no man's love interest. She is Kyuuzou's Third Sister (not his biological sister but his Sensei's older student).  
- Kyuuzou does not fight with the same ease he used to have because his new body does not yet have the muscle memory of his old body.

--

The three samurai and Rikichi all stared slack-jawed at the determined warrior blocking Shichiroji's spear with his twin blades. The crimson-clad samurai threw the stunned Shichiroji back. The sloppily-dressed blond stumbled into Kanbei, who steadied him. Then Shichiroji exclaimed. ""Kyuuzou-dono!!! But how???"

The metal-armed veteran had forgotten about Ayame for the moment. Kyuuzou ignored his question.

"No one is to touch her!" the new arrival stated coldly and clearly.

Katsushiro managed to stutter, "We… we saw you die! How could this be??? …."

"It's none of your business," the red samurai said curtly.

Kanbei stepped forward towards Kyuuzou, but stopped a few feet away from the red-clad young samurai. Kyuuzou was paler than before, but otherwise looked quite alive. Something else had changed about him too. The red samurai was still the willowy androgyne, but there seemed to be a new definition to his form. His face and figure looked slightly more angular than they did before. There was another change Shimada noticed . In the scarlet warrior's brief exchange with Shichiroji, Kanbei noticed that he did not move with his old practiced fluidity. Kyuuzou was still the master swordsman, for sure, but his motions were more jerky and abrupt than they used to be. This was not quite the same Kyuuzou who had dueled Kanbei.

The old commander just stood there regarding the young man with amazement. For a moment Katsushiro thought Kanbei was going to embrace Kyuuzou, but as the tall, handsome man stepped forward towards the red warrior, the dark beauty beside Kyuuzou barked sharply, "Back off! Has anyone been kind enough to tell you that you have a serious body odor problem?"

Kanbei stopped in his tracks. Shichiroji, enraged that his former commander was thusly insulted, would have gladly killed that insufferable woman. He rattled his spear and started towards Ayame again, but Rikichi restrained him. Kanbei, however, did not dignify the woman's remark by acknowledging her in any manner. He simply continued gazing at Kyuuzou with the kind of expression that made Ayame frown – it was a look of surprise, and joy, and something more. The silent young man stared back at Kanbei with an unreadable look on his face.

Ayame interrupted. "Well, they're your … friends I guess?" she asked the red samurai.

"They are people I worked with on the Kanna Project." Kyuuzou responded dully.

Kanbei winced inwardly at Kyuuzou's cold reply. But outwardly, he maintained a warm demeanor. "It seems we have a lot of catching up to do. Would you and your sister like to join us for some tea?" he asked.

"No!" Ayame replied on Kyuuzou's behalf. But the crimson samurai turned towards the shorter warrior. He bent and whispered something inaudible in the woman's ear. Kanbei felt a stab of pain in his heart as he observed this intimate gesture.

The darkly handsome woman paused for a moment. Then she addressed all present. "Well, I will take my leave now," she dipped ever so slightly in a mock bow to the samurai. "I have to run some errands for a friend. I leave Kyuuzou in your care. Make sure you return him in an untouched condition." The golden-eyed fighter stated in an almost threatening tone. Then she turned and left, but not before throwing a not-too-friendly look at Shichiroji and Kanbei.

"You have my word," Kanbei called out after her in as amiable a tone as he could muster. Why was it always his bad luck to be faced with the angry, jealous lovers of the people he desired?

Kyuuzou fixed his cold eyes on Shichiroji even as he watched Third Sister's departing figure out of the corner of his eye until the woman passed out of sight. Kanbei had the feeling that if his friend so much as took a step in that woman's direction, Kyuuzou would have killed him. "Does he care so much for her?" Kanbei wondered.

Katsushiro was already prostrating himself on the ground before Kyuuzou. "I'm so sorry!!! I didn't mean to…"

Kyuuzou stared down at him almost disgustedly, then he looked away and sighed.

"Forgive me!!!" Katsushiro was still talking with his face in the dirt.

"Oh get up already!" Kyuuzou rolled his eyes.

Without thinking, Shichiroji said to Kyuuzou. "Your sister owes me an arm …"

Before he knew it, Kyuuzou's angry face was right in front of him, barely inches away. "Do not even think about touching her," the red-clad warrior spat with a murderous glare in his eyes. "Or you are a dead man!"

"Oooh… touchy!!!" Shichi said, looking down at Kyuuzou with raised eyebrows. Kanbei too was somewhat surprised. He had never before seen that level of raw aggression coming from the cold, calculated fighter. Had Kyuuzou changed? Or perhaps he did not know the young man well to start with. Or maybe Kyuuzou was acting this way only because of that woman. The thought gnawed at him.

But the old ronin hid his feelings of doubt. Instead, he gently but firmly parted the two blonds as he stepped between them. The dark samurai said soothingly to Shichi, "Come on, let's go back to the teahouse. I believe we forgot to pay for our tea when we left in such a hurry just now." Then Shimada turned to the crimson samurai and said amiably, "Kyuuzou-dono, you can join us if you wish."

"If you want an arm so badly," Kyuuzou continued glaring over Kanbei's shoulder at Shichiroji, "you're welcome to try to take mine!"

Shichiroji made as if to reply in anger but Kanbei placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "My friend, if we are to avenge ourselves on every former enemy soldier who ever wounded us, it would be the Great War all over again. Likewise, if you and I have to pay for all the lives we've ever taken, we would be dead many times over. The war is over. Let it rest."

Shichiroji sighed. He began making his way down the street. The tall blond walked on ahead as he needed to be alone to calm down. Kanbei fell into step next to Kyuuzou.

"She's not really your sister, is she?" Shimada asked.

"No, not really." Kyuuzou replied grudgingly. The silent loner was no fool. He knew there was another unasked question behind Kanbei's question. But he felt no obligation to explain anything to anyone.

"Did she …" Kanbei began.

"It is a secret between me and her." the red warrior cut him off. Kyuuzou said the words without any feeling, but they stabbed Kanbei to the core.

"What is her name?" the dark ronin asked. Kyuuzou did not answer. He did not think any information given to Kanbei would be safe from Shichiroji. The silent samurai was not going to give the angry aide any means by which he could trace and stalk Ayame. And even without Shichiroji in the picture, Third Sister's name was still none of Kanbei's concern, Kyuuzou thought.

At the scarlet samurai's silence, Kanbei wondered, "Does he guard even her name so jealously?" The dark ronin had once thought the cold loner never returned his feelings because he simply did not have the capacity to love anyone. Now that he saw that there was indeed a strange, beautiful someone whom the silent samurai seemed to be jealously protective of, he could not help feeling bitter, hurt and rejected.

Still, the dark ronin tried to reach out to the younger man. "I'm glad to see you back, Kyuuzou," Kanbei ventured.

"Don't be. We still have our 'date', remember? I'm back if only to finish things."

"Kyuuzou, we need to talk." Kanbei said urgently. It seemed that coming back from the dead had not caused Kyuuzou to value a second chance at life.

"You're not trying to talk your way out of your promise, are you?"

"No, but I still have some things to say to you, before one of us…"

"For once, I do feel the same way," Kyuuzou responded coolly. "There is something I need to ask you, but I think I will save it for just before our match. I want to get this duel out of the way before one of us gets killed by unforeseen factors."

"Do you wish to set a date?" Kanbei asked tentatively.

"I will seek you after I have taken care of other matters," the young man answered. "Where can I find you?"

"I expect to be in the House of the Fireflies for the next few days," said the dark ronin. "I will wait there for you."

--

Kyuuzou returned to Sayoko's apartment to find Ayame unloading the grocery bags into the refrigerator and cupboards. As he approached her to help put the food away, Third Sister asked, "So who exactly were those people you were hanging with just now? Turns out that badly-dressed blond and the tall man with long hair were Allied Forces soldiers who fought against our side during the assault on the Sky Fortress in Genna 8. I saw them briefly on the sky battlefield."

The scarlet samurai answered, "The blond is Shichiroji who works and lives at the House of the Fireflies. You'll probably want to stay clear of Iyashi no Sato for the remainder of your stay in Kougakyo if you don't want to run into him again."

"I didn't kill him during the war, but he's really pushing his luck now, asking for another fight." Ayame shook her head as she shoved a box of dried buckwheat noodles into the bottom shelf of Sayoko's kitchen cabinet. "Some people just can't seem to move on."

Kyuuzou put 10 packs of instant miso soup onto the top cabinet shelf that was too high for Ayame to reach.

"By the way, who is the big unshaven guy?" the golden-eyed woman asked as she recalled the sleazy-looking ronin. "He was looking at you funny. That person is not giving you any trouble is he?"

"That's Kanbei, Shichiroji's former commander," the young man said as nonchalantly as he could. "He was our team leader for the Kanna Project."

"He was ready to kill me over you," Ayame remarked. "What's going on between the two of you?"

"I think you are reading too much into things." Kyuuzou thought as he controlled the urge to roll his eyes. But he did not speak his thoughts out loud.

Receiving no answer, Kyuuzou's senpai could only keep her questions to herself.

--

_1 day later…_

Kyuuzou returned to the Governor's palace and found to his relief that the guards were willing to allow him entry. Apparently, none of the lower-level staff knew of his 'disgrace' and 'defection'. Ayamaro's bureaucracy was not very transparent. Low-level employees were never informed about changes in the upper management, unless it directly concerned them. Kyuuzou had wondered about this policy before, but now he saw that it had its advantages.

The guards just let him pass without question. Since Ukyo's thugs were all dead, there was no one around to challenge his credentials. Kyuuzou went to his old room to find that, as he feared, it had been locked.

He located the chief janitor and asked if he could be let in. The janitor said that the bodyguards' old quarters had been cleared and Kyuuzou's belongings were now in the second floor store room. Without much ado, the crimson-eyed young man went to the store room and began sorting through the piles of boxes. He finally found two boxes labeled 'Kyuuzou'. There was only one thing he really came here for, though he would not mind taking a few extra changes of clothing too. So far, other than the outfit that Ayame had brought for him, Kyuuzou's 'new' wardrobe consisted of Sayoko's cast off out-of-fashion clothes, which did not fit very well. That ex-samurai was shorter and slightly bulkier than Kyuuzou.

To his great relief, he found what he came to find. The slender samurai quickly left his old place of employment and returned to Sayoko's apartment.

--

Ayame was preparing to leave Kougakyo for Hokuhei. As she packed her bags, the crimson samurai approached her with a package wrapped in yellowish-white paper.

"O-ne-sama, there is something I'd like you to keep for me..." Kyuuzou began as he knelt down beside her.

Ayame unwrapped the package carefully. "It's Second Sister's sumi-e set!" the golden-eyed woman exclaimed with surprise as she raised her eyes to Kyuuzou. "She gave it to you. Why are you giving it to me to keep?"

"I don't have any place to keep it," Kyuuzou said.

"If you can't find a place to stay, you can come with me to Hokuhei."

The quiet young man remained silent as he looked away.

Ayame persisted. "Well, if you don't want to leave Kougakyo, Sayoko says you can stay with her until you find your own place. You'll have to pay rent, of course, but we can arrange a work-stay program…"

"I have to make a trip," Kyuuzou finally spoke. "I don't know when I will return."

Actually, Kyuuzou did not know if he would return.

"Where to?" Ayame queried.

"I haven't decided yet," Kyuuzou reluctantly replied. "Maybe I'll go to my home village."

The dark-haired woman gave her kouhai a long, odd look. Kyuuzou had never once expressed the slightest wish to visit Shirase Village since the day Ayame met him sixteen years ago. Something about the current situation made her uneasy. Had it anything to do with that dark man she ran into the other day? But she knew it was pointless trying to get answers out of Kyuuzou when he was not willing to talk.

Ayame finally spoke. "If you're planning to go get yourself killed, I'll never forgive you."

Kyuuzou avoided those sharp golden eyes and occupied himself with helping his senpai pack her bags.

--

**Author's Comments:**

- For those who asked, Kyuuzou does have his 'masculinity' back ;-) That is why his face and build are more angular than they used to be. And his new 'aggressiveness' might have something to do with that.

- Kyuuzou whispers to Ayame because he is voicing a disagreement with her that he does not want the others to hear. She flatly turned down Kanbei's offer, which Kyuuzou did not want to do. He wanted to go with Kanbei. But instead of openly challenging his senior in front of people outside their 'family', he gives Ayame 'face' by presenting his request to her in private.

- "Why it always his bad luck to be faced with the angry, jealous lovers of the people he desired?" Kanbei is inaccurately projecting his past experience from companion fic One Life, One Love onto the present and misunderstanding Kyuuzou and Ayame's relationship.

- Second Sister's sumi-e set was given to Kyuuzou in Wolf Warriors chapter A Song and A Sigh.


	25. Confession

Kyuuzou saw Ayame off at the Kougakyo Central Train Station. There was no direct train to Hokuhei City. She would have to transfer to another line in Shichiyama Prefecture. 

As soon as Ayame's train left the station, Kyuuzou made his way briskly to Iyashi no Sato via the most direct route he knew.

--

Kanbei looked out of the upstairs window of the House of the Fireflies to see a familiar red figure standing in the courtyard, gazing up at him. He immediately went downstairs and stepped outside the inn to face his challenger.

"The time has come," Kyuuzou said simply.

"Here?" Kanbei asked. He would rather not engage in any activities that might result in damage to the property of his gracious hosts.

"No, not here," the red samurai replied.

"Where then?" the long-haired ronin said.

"Follow me," Kyuuzou said. But he remained motionless. His opponent was by now a little puzzled.

Kanbei took a few steps closer to Kyuuzou and gazed questioningly into those passionless red eyes. Kyuuzou finally spoke again, "Bring some food and water. We will take some days to get there."

"There? Where?" Kanbei raised his eyebrows.

"Where we will have our duel," the younger man replied in a tone of forced patience used to explain things to the not-very-bright.

"And where may that be?" the tall ronin asked.

"You'll see," came the cryptic reply. "Just follow me."

--

Katsushiro returned to his Kougakyo Self-Defense Corps barracks after finishing the day's boot camp training. He was looking forward to an evening of rest. In fact, he was so tired he was planning to fall into slumber the minute he reached his bed. But it turned out that his sleep would be delayed for a little longer.

The sentry told him he had someone waiting for him in the visitors' reception area. The tired young recruit made his way to the visiting room to find his old Sensei sitting there with a small travel bag.

"Sensei!" the boy exclaimed in surprise.

"I regret to say I have to borrow my old sword from you for a while," Kanbei said apologetically. "I hope this will not bring you any inconvenience."

"Sensei, it is your sword! You can have it anytime." Katsushiro exclaimed, "I have never regarded it as mine for I am not worthy. I merely consider myself to be holding it in safekeeping. So far, I've been using the military-issue sword. I'll bring your sword to you right away."

With that, the boy bowed and left the reception room. Shortly later, he returned with Kanbei's hooked tip scabbard.

"Thank you, Katsushiro," Kanbei nodded as he took up that old weapon, stained with the memories of so many battles and the blood of so many slain foes. "I will have it returned to you."

Katsushiro said to the tall ronin, "You don't have to, Sensei. It's your sword."

"No, I made a gift to you, and I don't intend to revoke it." The old man smiled. "But exceptional circumstances force me to take it up again. It will be returned to you shortly."

"Sensei, the Kougakyo Self-Defense Corps can certainly use more experienced veterans among its officers." The boy said earnestly. "If you are so inclined, there is work here for you. Many Great War veterans have been hired as officers and trainers. I am sure the Corps would love to have someone of your stature and experience."

Kanbei simply nodded, but he did not say anything in response. He was not sure if he would return. The young man walked his former leader to the gate. As he turned to leave, the old warrior said, "Farewell, and whatever battles the future may bring you, fight them well."

"Yes, Sensei," Katsushiro bowed in respect. But as he watched the departing figure of his former commander, he felt a sense of unease. There was something final in Kanbei's tone as he bade him farewell. More keenly than before, Katsushiro had the idea that he was looking at a dead man walking.

Then the green-haired boy wondered why Kanbei told him, "I will have the sword returned to you," instead of "I will return the sword to you."

Had it something to do with the strange reappearance of Kyuuzou?

--

There was a slender, almost ghostly red figure waiting for Kanbei outside the base of the Kougakyo Defense Corps. The tall ronin strode up to the slight figure. They stood facing each other in silence for a moment. Then, without exchanging a word, the two figures turned and walked away into the darkness of the twilight.

--

They left Kougakyo and crossed Chou River. Kyuuzou led Kanbei on a long walk that meandered through towns and villages. Kanbei still did not know where they were going, but he could tell they were generally heading in the southwest direction.

No words were exchanged between the two warriors, but each understood what needed to be done without speaking. When night came one slept while the other kept watch. Yet as Kanbei's eyes were closed in rest, he was keenly aware that Kyuuzou was a short distance away, practicing his sword work with more vengeance than a student cramming for a final exam. When daylight came, they would start walking again, with the younger samurai leading the way. Kanbei noticed that Kyuuzou seemed to get tired more easily than he used to, despite the young man's best attempts not to show his weariness.

Kyuuzou led Kanbei through Nankai Prefecture. Towards the north, Mount Kei'an loomed in the distance. But the silent samurai did not even turn his head to look upon the mountain where he had spent 6 years as a child, the place that held memories of people who had cared for him, people who would want him to choose life and not death. This was not the time to remember those moments of human kindness or to linger on the joys and sorrows of childhood. The scarlet-eyed warrior looked straight ahead, at the Gray Forest through which he must pass to enter Yoshin State, the place he once lived with his family.

--

They walked for day after day, taking their rest under the shelter of trees or in village shrines, whatever each night brought them. The two samurai entered the Gray Forest, crossing the border into Higashihara State. Bored with the days of silence, Kanbei made a couple of attempts at conversation, praising the beauty of the forest. Kyuuzou ignored him. It was through this forest that he wandered alone – as a terrified orphan - on his way from Shirase Village to Mount Kei'an sixteen years ago.

Finally, they passed the ruins of the old land Capital Nankyou that lay on the Yoshin-Higashihara border.

Once the odd pair had crossed into Yoshin State, Kanbei noticed Kyuuzou stopped walking ahead of him and began walking next to him. The slender blond was obliquely eyeing him, as if trying to read the passions written on his face. The old ronin wondered at this change in behavior. Once or twice, he allowed himself to fall behind Kyuuzou but the young man would wait for him to catch up.

Finally, they approached the village of Shirase. It looked the way Kyuuzou remembered it. Yet different. There were more houses now. Kyuuzou wondered if his old home, the two-level farmhouse on the outskirts of the main village, was still there. Newer, unsuspecting inhabitants had probably moved in by now. People who did not know the floors had once been stained with human blood. They probably tore the old house down anyway. Kyuuzou did not know if that thought made him sad or glad.

Now Kyuuzou turned his attention to Kanbei once more. The dark man was walking a little more slowly, looking keenly at the village with an unreadable expression on his face. "Perhaps it is a look of discomfort," the younger man thought. He fell into step beside his companion. "Does this place look familiar to you?" Kanbei was surprised when the previously silent Kyuuzou spoke suddenly.

"I don't recall ever seeing this view," the old ronin said almost hesitantly.

"Perhaps the village looks different from the air," the blond spoke in a passionless tone. "And it has changed in 16 years."

Kanbei's expression remained unchanged, but Kyuuzou was sure the dark man had turned a shade paler.

The silent samurai deliberately avoided walking down the main street of the village. They took the back road and passed the plot of land where his house once was. He guessed right. There was a new house there, but not in the exact same spot. 16 years was a long time. Things change. Then the two travelers came to a hillside just beyond the village. Behind it lay the simple cemetery where the peasants buried their dead. Kyuuzou rounded the hill, treading his way carefully through the grave markers. Kanbei followed. They passed two tiny shrines – one for the Earth God and one for the Forest Spirit.

Kanbei thought that the shrines marked the boundary of the graveyard, but apparently, there were more graves beyond. Past the shrines, there were two mounds of earth, but they shared one headstone. His young companion had come to a halt before these two mounds.

--

Kyuuzou noticed that Aunt Rumi's sword no longer marked the spot. Had it been stolen? Anger welled up in his heart. But he saw that a simple stone marker stood in its place. 'The grave of Shizuka and Rumi' it read. The pale young man gave a wry smile. So someone, in all likelihood some of their old neighbors, cared enough to erect a proper grave marker, something he could not afford to do as a 10 year old. Maybe there was still some goodness in human hearts after all.

Kanbei was standing next to Kyuuzou, staring at the tombstone. Long-suppressed memories came rushing back, coloring the old soldier's vision with blood-red scenes from a near-forgotten, distant past.

"Why did you bring me here?" The tall dark man suddenly turned to Kyuuzou. His voice was calm, but Kyuuzou noticed that Kanbei's clenched jaw was trembling ever so slightly. The skinny samurai's eyes narrowed. Then he put on a neutral expression and said slowly, "Because you reminded me of someone I saw sixteen years ago. I had not dared to hope I would be lucky enough to meet him again. But since the first day I saw you, you gave me hope."

Kyuuzou waited for a sign of confirmation from Kanbei, but the old ronin remained silent and motionless. He had turned his face back to the graves.

"I'm pretty sure it's him now! Why is he nervous if not for a guilty conscience?" Kyuuzou's anger begin to rise. "But I'll never get a confession out of the cunning bastard! I want to hear it from his own mouth!"

The two samurai stood quietly side by side without looking at each other, one stewing in suppressed rage, and the other suffocating in an oppressive sense of foreboding.

"After all this time in Kanna, I realize I do not know anything about who you really are or where you really came from," the old soldier mused as he finally turned his dark eyes back towards his slender companion. "Nevertheless, it has brought me great joy to see you in the world of the living again, though I don't know if it is any use to say these words now."

"Don't say them then!" Kyuuzou felt like retorting. But instead he said slowly, "Who you really are and where you really came from? I was about to ask you that question myself. I know nothing about the places you've been, the people you've killed."

Kanbei did not respond. Kyuuzou finally lost his patience. He had become a much more impatient man after inhabiting this new body. Maybe it was the effect of what Ayame called 'too much testosterone." But no matter. The fact was he wanted answers, and he wanted them now. The scarlet warrior broke the awkward silence, speaking with a tone of forced politeness. "So, what was it that you wanted to say to me before we settle this business of our duel?"

"I love you," Kanbei turned to him with a look that was mix of despair and resignation, "Surely you must have known. I loved you since the day I first saw you."

Kyuuzou compressed his lips into a taut thin line as he turned away from his older companion. He made no answer. "If this is a joke," he thought, "it is really not funny."

Kanbei sighed, "You don't have to answer me. I never expected you to return my regard. Though I must admit that I hoped you would."

The red-clad warrior thought that this must be a cruel trick that Heaven was playing on him. But outwardly, he showed no reaction. Kanbei stood staring at the young man's back for a few moments. Then he said, "Regardless of how I feel, I will not deny you our final duel."

Kyuuzou remained silent and unmoving. Kanbei took a step closer to him and asked. "So, what was it that you wanted to ask me before our match?"

"I should not have played games with you during the time we spent together. I have since learnt that life is too short for games." The slender androgyne finally turned to face Kanbei. "Now if you can forgive me for not being entirely honest before, will you now do me the honor of being completely honest with me?" Kyuuzou's pale face was expressionless.

Kanbei raised his eyebrows. He wondered what Kyuuzou was getting at, although he had a vague idea it had to do with the two graves before him. But he said to the young man, "I have never lied to you. And I will not start now."

"I am looking for a samurai who went to Shirase Village 16 years ago." Kyuuzou spoke bluntly, "He brought soldiers into a farmhouse. There a woman was forced to take her own life. There was another woman in the house. This samurai killed her and then cut off her head and her left hand. On her left hand was a tattoo like yours. Can you help me find that man?"

Shimada's eyes widened. Why would the scarlet warrior want to find this man? How did the person he loved come to know about these events? Who was Kyuuzou?

"Why are you asking this?" Kanbei managed to squeeze the words out. Kyuuzou's eyes narrowed as he saw sweat drops forming on the dark man's forehead.

"Answer my question." Kyuuzou said with deliberate calmness, but Kanbei noticed the willowy warrior was shaking slightly. The older man regarded the young samurai for a moment, then he said wearily, "You have found him. He stands before you."

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

- Kyuuzou's body is new and relatively unconditioned, so he doesn't quite have his old stamina, which took years of training to achieve.

- Also, his increased aggressiveness and irritability might be due to his new 'masculinity', as predicted by Ayame. ;-)


	26. Retribution

**Note: **In this story, Kanbei's childhood name was Kisshoumaru. In the past, boys of the upper classes change their name after a coming-of-age ceremony. Some even change their names multiple times.

* * *

"You have found him. He stands before you." The dark man standing before the two graves said in a tone of weary resignation.

Kyuuzou suddenly realized this was the answer he dreaded. Why would he dread this answer? The young man did not know. He should be glad he need not look any further for what he had given up hope of finding all these years. But the pale samurai was not glad.

"Thank you for the confirmation," the red warrior said with cool politeness as he stepped away from the gravestone, putting more distance between himself and Kanbei. "I suspected this might be the case since the first day I saw you. But I was never really sure, or you would have been dead a long time ago."

Shimada stared at Kyuuzou in shock. It all came back to Kanbei. Kyuuzou's strange questions in Kanna Forest and the cold warrior's unexpected kiss. Was that cherished memory a sham? Kyuuzou was now walking near the trees ringing the clearing in which the graves stood. The dark man followed after the slender form.

"You said you met me 16 years ago!" Kanbei exclaimed in puzzlement. "But I am sure I never met you before Kougakyo! Where did you see me? Who are these people to you?"

Kyuuzou smirked. He responded matter-of-factly. "Shimada Shizuka did not kill your four samurai. I did. You blamed the wrong person."

Kanbei's mouth fell open.

"Though I must admit the fault was mine as well." The pale young man continued, "For by keeping my silence then, I proved myself as much the coward as you were the fool!" Kyuuzou spat the words out disgustedly. But he was not sure if he was more disgusted at Kanbei or at himself.

Then it came to Kanbei's mind that his cousin, a double sword fighter, was carrying only one sword when he dueled her on that cursed day. Shimada suddenly remembered that the informants said there was a young child living in the same house with the two women. The youngster was presumably a servant. It did not seem to be a detail of much import. Young Kanbei had not seen the child in the house at that time. The samurai who had finished his mission did not give the trivial matter of a missing minor servant further thought. Not until now.

"You're …" the old ronin started as he stared at Kyuuzou.

The younger samurai felt a cold fury sealing itself over all the confused emotions that had been jostling for room in his tormented soul since the day he met Shimada Kanbei again as a grown man.

"I AM your retribution. I am Shizuka's son." Kyuuzou answered icily, noting with some satisfaction the look of shock on Kanbei's face.

The older samurai was gaping at the blond samurai who looked so unlike anyone in the Shimada family. This was impossible! And yet it was true. How else could Kyuuzou know the lullaby that Kanbei's grandmother had sung to her grandchildren? Shimada Kanbei thought he heard both Heaven and Earth laughing at him.

The usually quiet samurai had plenty to say. "Well, my honorable warrior, my mother asked you for six years to finish something, but you refused to grant it to her! That 'something' was me! I was 10 years old! You got more than you deserve when I granted you the time to finish your work for Kanna."

Kanbei did not know what answer to give Kyuuzou, or if Kyuuzou was even expecting an answer. At the dark man's tongue-tied silence, the scarlet samurai said almost blandly, "They say it is never too late for revenge. Now is your chance to take revenge for the four soldiers I killed, and my chance to take revenge for my mother and aunt. But before one of us dies, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

There was a long moment of silence in which both warriors felt the air itself was suffocating them. Kanbei wondered if he would have spared Shizuka's life if he knew there was a child in the picture. But he already knew the answer. Knowing of Kyuuzou's existence then would have made his decision more painful, but it would not have changed the outcome.

A soldier's duty could not be set aside. But neither could a son's.

Finally, Kanbei spoke as he bowed his head in resignation. "I wish I could tell you that I am sorry, but I cannot."

"So you would do it again even if I begged for my mother's life just as Sanae begged for the Amanushi's worthless life?" Kyuuzou was now speaking with a raised voice.

"The matter was bigger than me or your mother," Kanbei said as earnestly as he could even though he felt utterly hollow, "It was a matter of family honor, of clan honor. I could not, and would not refuse the duty my daimyo gave me."

"Honor?" Kyuuzou spat the word out. "Does 'honor' mean that people who want nothing more than to live in peace have to die so that you, your family and your clan can 'save face'?!!"

Kanbei had no answer. The older man once again found himself faced with a problem that could not be cut open with a sword.

"And you said you loved me!" the cold samurai gave a bitter, hollow laugh. "You pathetic liar! If you had seen me that day, you would have killed me together with my family."

"No, this is not true!" Kanbei cried out. He would like to think he would never have lifted his sword against a ten-year-old Kyuuzou sixteen years ago. But now there was no way to prove it to the scarlet samurai or even to himself. Yet there was one thing the old ronin knew for certain - he did not want to lift his sword against Kyuuzou now. The dark warrior opened his mouth to speak but the younger man cut him off.

"I don't need you to be sorry! I just need your head as an offering before the graves my family." Kyuuzou's tone had turned cruelly mocking. "You can do me the favor of handing it over, or I can take it from you. I would prefer the latter though. I've always wanted to fight a legend."

Kanbei's eyes widened with horror. The fair-haired warrior was using the exact same words Kanbei said to Shizuka before their duel 16 years earlier. Wherever young Kyuuzou was hidden at that time, the child must have heard everything. Or even seen everything.

Kanbei met the younger man's malicious regard. He realized this was the same burning gaze he had felt boring into his back when he stood over the decapitated Shimada Shizuka in that farmhouse so many years ago. The red warrior's face was young but the hate in it was old. Looking into the eyes of Shizuka's bloodthirsty son, the white-clad warrior felt as if someone was twisting a dull knife in his heart - slowly.

"My mother died because she did not have it in her heart to kill you." Kyuuzou gave a small, bitter smile, "But I am not like her, I will have no mercy." The young samurai's hands went to his sword hilts.

"Whenever I felt a twinge of pity for anyone I had to kill, I thought of _you_." Kyuuzou said spitefully. "All I had to do was remember how _you_ showed no mercy. And then I could kill without blinking."

These words cut Shimada Kanbei to the core. In a way, he created the Kyuuzou who now stood before him. The old soldier sensed the noose of fate tightening around his neck. All these years, the powers had been weaving the rope that would now choke him. Kanbei knew he could not escape. Nor did he particularly want to.

The red-clad samurai had already unsheathed his twin swords and was rushing straight at the older man. Shimada did not move. Kyuuzou's right blade came to rest against the taller samurai's neck. But the scarlet warrior did not press in further. Instead, he screamed in Kanbei's face, "Draw your sword! Draw!"

"If you want vengeance, I cannot deny you." The dark ronin said quietly. "Just kill me now."

"Coward!" Kyuuzou shouted, "Will you not give me satisfaction?"

"I cannot give you an apology. But I can give you my life." Kanbei sighed as he closed his eyes.

"I will not strike you down without a sword in your hand!" Kyuuzou was almost beside himself with frustration and rage.

"I have lost the person I love – not once, but twice," the dark ronin thought in agony. "Heaven has restored him to me, only to take him from me again. And this time, in a way perhaps even more final than death. One can say this is my just reward."

Kanbei opened his dark eyes and looked straight into the angry red eyes of the younger man. "No matter who wins this match, we will both be losers," Kanbei said softly.

Kyuuzou shook with fury. He had heard these words before, but not from Kanbei. The crimson warrior applied a little more pressure to his blade, just puncturing the older samurai's skin. "Draw!" he commanded again.

"You are right. You are my retribution." Kanbei said with a hint of despair as a trickle of warm blood slid down his neck, "I caused the deaths of two people for seeking life over death and choosing love over war. Heaven has made it my reward to fall madly, desperately in love with someone who can only hate me."

Kyuuzou's lower lip began to tremble, but he stilled his shaking hands and maintained the pressure of his sword against the tall samurai's throat. As his blade bit into the other man's flesh, the crimson samurai felt as if he was cutting his own heart, but he ignored the pain.

The dark warrior did not flinch. Instead, he spoke in a pained whisper: "I regret I do not have more than one life for you to take. This life you can end in vengeance for your mother's death. If I have a second life, it is yours to take too, as payment for the life of your mother's friend. And if I have a third life, I will gladly give it to you. As recompense for the young life I ruined."

"Stop your nonsense!" Kyuuzou screamed. He felt the tears sting his eyes but he would not let them fall. Instead, Kyuuzou pressed the blade yet a little deeper into the older man's flesh. He would never have guessed it would hurt so much to hurt that man, but Kyuuzou disregarded his own agony and shouted. "Fight me! Now!"

"After I die, please return this sword to Katsushiro," Kanbei said resignedly. Then he put his hand on his sword hilt reluctantly. Kyuuzou stepped back to allow him a fair distance. When Kanbei drew his sword, the red samurai attacked with a whirlwind barrage of strikes.

After a few exchanges, it became quite apparent to Kanbei this was not the Kyuuzou he dueled before. The red samurai's reflexes were now slower, nor did he have the same level of physical power. His ki was not as strong as it was before either. While the older man had seen his victory as doubtful during their first match, Kanbei was surprised to realize it was within his power to defeat Kyuuzou this time.

But Kyuuzou was still a master swordsman, despite the limitations of his resurrected body. It was far easier to kill such a dangerous opponent than to disarm him. To try the latter might cost Kanbei his own life.

"Stop this madness! Don't throw your life away!" The old ronin shouted as he parried a few lightning fast strikes from the slender samurai's twin swords.

"That condescending man!" Kyuuzou thought. He was ready to die. And he might not be the one to die. The only answer Kyuuzou gave Kanbei was to attack more fiercely. Kanbei dodged, parried and retreated as far as he could. Then he came to the point where he realized he might be the one to decide which one of them would leave this place alive. As a man, Kanbei would gladly have let Kyuuzou kill him if it meant the person he loved could live on, but as a warrior, he knew it was dishonorable to throw the match. Much as it pained him, Kanbei knew the person he loved would prefer defeat to a false victory.

As the scarlet samurai went in for a diagonal slash across Kanbei's torso, the older man twisted out of the way. The slighter warrior followed through with his other sword. His offense missed his cunning target again, leaving a very brief opening for a quick adversary to take advantage of. Kanbei aimed a fatal strike to his opponent's head. If the strike went home, death would be quick.

Kyuuzou tried to execute a scissor block with his twin blades to ward off this powerful blow from Kanbei. But his unconditioned new body was not quite quick enough to close the opening in time. The damning realization that he had mistimed his opponent came into Kyuuzou's scarlet eyes as he saw the descending blade flash in the sun.

But the sword never touched Kyuuzou's flesh. The scarlet samurai stared at the blade hovering two inches above his face. Then he started quivering with anger.

"Finish what you started." The young man spoke coldly as he glared past the naked blade into the dark eyes of the older warrior.

Kanbei's response was to retract his sword in one quick motion. He sheathed it resolutely.

"You won! Kill me!" Kyuuzou shouted. "Finish what you came here to do 16 years ago!"

"You are not my daimyo or my shogun," Kanbei said as gently as he could. "You do not command me. I don't have to kill you." He turned his back on his opponent.

Kyuuzou rushed in front of him. "YOU started me on the road of killing. And you think you can just walk away." The young man said in a dangerously quiet tone.

"I am not walking away from this place," the older man stated calmly as he looked down into those angry red eyes. He stepped past Kyuuzou and strode briskly towards the two graves. The old ronin knelt down in front of the grave marker. He unsheathed his sword once more and brought it to his neck. He was about to slide the clean blade across his throat when Kyuuzou threw down his right sword and rushed between Kanbei and the grave of Shizuka and Rumi. A pale hand seized the ronin's naked blade.

Kanbei felt his heart seize when he saw Kyuuzou's blood run down his sword. "Let go!" the tall man commanded as dark brown eyes met cold red eyes.

The slight warrior kneeling before Kanbei did not let go. "What do you think you are doing?" Kyuuzou asked through clenched teeth as his jaw quivered almost imperceptibly with pain.

"You wanted my head for an offering before your family's grave." Kanbei said. "Please let go of my sword." He could feel Kyuuzou's agony, feel the young man's flesh being cut as if it was his own.

"No, not this way," Kyuuzou gritted his teeth. "I have to take your head. I failed."

"What do I have to do to make you let go of my sword?" Kanbei asked in desperation as Kyuuzou's blood flowed down the blade, forming ever-widening crimson spots on Kanbei's white robe. The dark ronin could not bear to see the young warrior in pain.

"Finish me." Kyuuzou answered with cold firmness. "I don't need your condescension."

"Take your hand off my blade and I will give you a rematch," Kanbei said in an anguished voice. He did not want to fight Kyuuzou again but he did not know what else do to.

To the old soldier's great relief, Kyuuzou released his hold on the bloody sword.

Kanbei immediately tried to take the young man's wounded right hand but Kyuuzou snatched his hand away from the tall ronin. The blond glared at Shimada.

"We can't fight now. Not before your hand is healed." Shimada said. "It won't be fair."

"I can use my other hand." The scarlet-eyed warrior replied calmly as he stood up. Kanbei could not tear his eyes away from the sight of Kyuuzou's blood flowing from that open wound crossing his palm. The crimson liquid was running down those slender fingers and falling onto the earth before the grave, like a poured offering for the dead. Only it was blood and not wine that the earth was drinking.

The old ronin realized that if Kyuuzou could not kill him, the vengeful son's only honorable choice was to take his place as the intended offering to the spirits of the deceased.

As the blood offering from the unintended victim seeped into the ground, Shimada could sense the energy in the clearing change, as if a portal was opening between the world of the living and the realm of the dead. The tall samurai felt an odd chill in the air and gave an involuntary shudder. Was this charged atmosphere the effect of his own guilty conscience and tortured imagination?

If Kyuuzou felt the change in atmosphere, he did not show any reaction. The slender young man calmly walked over to the spot where he dropped his right sword Suirou. He sheathed his other sword Karou which he held in his left hand. Then the warrior picked up the fallen Suirou.

Kanbei tried to delay the inevitable. "I have noticed… your resurrected body is not in the same state of conditioning as your old body. Perhaps you should train for a little longer before we fight again."

Kyuuzou raised his voice just slightly. "I have already told you, I do NOT need your condescension." The slender warrior pointed the sword Suirou at Kanbei. "Now fight me!"

Kanbei's eyes came to rest on Kyuuzou's bleeding right hand. But he had given his word. Reluctantly, the dark-haired ronin raised his bloody sword and prepared to duel once more.

This time, it was as if the spirit had gone out of the old soldier. It was sheer torment to fight someone he wanted to heal, not kill. He wanted so much to ease the silent samurai's pain, to comfort him in his agony. He wanted to gently and carefully bind up Kyuuzou's bleeding hand, not to raise the sword against him. But all these things were now forever denied to him. What choice did he have left?

Kanbei barely tried to defend himself from Kyuuzou's attacks. But these half-hearted attempts at parrying and countering only angered the scarlet warrior further. He would compel the old man to fight him as an equal. An angled strike to the head should force his sworn enemy to take him seriously or finish Kanbei off. But the slender warrior hit an invisible barrier as he tried to stab the man.

The surprised warrior tried to hack Kanbei once more, only to hit the unseen wall between him and Kanbei. He started with surprise.

"What trickery and witchcraft is this?" the young man shouted angrily. "You coward! Fight me!"

But Kanbei looked as confused as he was. It was then they heard a voice speak. "Kyuuzou…"

"Aunty?" the stunned young man recognized Rumi's voice. He cast his eyes about his surroundings but saw no Aunt Rumi. "Where are you?"

"Your mother and I are passed beyond the edge of this world. But your spilled blood has called us back this once… I speak now so that you may live on, and not come to us before your time." The disembodied voice spoke.

Then they heard a second ghostly voice. "Kisshoumaru…"

"Kisshoumaru?" Kyuuzou recognized his mother's voice, but who was Kisshoumaru?

"Okaa-sama!" Kyuuzou cried out just as Kanbei said in a fearful voice, "Cousin Shizuka, is that you?"

"It was I who stood between the two of you, a moment ago." The second disembodied voice answered.

Kanbei cast his eyes about the clearing uneasily while Kyuuzou asked the sky. "Why, Mother? Why did you not let me kill him? He is our enemy!"

"Because… enough people have already died over this matter of 'honor'…And he has suffered on your account as you have on his…" came the cryptic reply.

"On my account? Why do you say that?" Kyuuzou cried out, confused. "I don't understand!" He was the one who suffered in shame, loneliness and despair all these years, kept breathing only by the thought of vengeance, while that uncaring, indifferent samurai went about gaining 'glory' and enjoying life. Kanbei could not have suffered as he did.

Then the two men heard Rumi's voice speak again. "Go together to the Temple of En in Nakatsu Province. There is an enchanted pool there. They say when people look into the water together, they can see all the times they shared, even the times they did not know they crossed paths."

"I do not understand…" Kyuuzou said in a tormented voice.

"You will, once you do as your aunt says," Shizuka's voice spoke gently. "I will meet you there when you look into the waters of the pool."

Then the two men heard no more voices in the stillness of the graveyard.

* * *

**Author's Comments**

All right, dear readers, I don't plan on releasing further chapters of Retribution until I've released part of companion fic _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor_. You'll see why if you read upcoming chapters of _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor_. That story contains yet another piece of Kanbei and Kyuzo's shared past – a key detail that might solve (or complicate) the Kanbei/Kyuzo dilemma here. So please follow _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor_. (More chapters should be out soon.)

- "No matter who wins this match, we will both be losers" was first spoken in Chapter 10.

- _En_ can be roughly translated to be the 'destiny' of relationships. To have 'en' with something/someone is to be fated to meet and share a path. Anyway, the concept is rather difficult to explain. There is a saying, "Without en, you can be neighbors and never know each other. With en, you will cross a thousand miles to meet each other."

- In this story, Kyuuzou and Kanbei have 'en' – they have crossed paths a few times before S7 even without knowing it. See companion fics _Unforgiven, Wolf Warriors_ and _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor_.

- The child Kyuuzou put a curse in Kanbei in _Unforgiven: _"May the one he loves hate him." Perhaps this curse has come true in the form of Kyuuzou himself. To a lesser extent, it also came true in prequel fic Edge of Alienation (still in progress), in Kanbei's relationship with an OC. And Kanbei had the hunch his love life was cursed in the even earlier prequel fic _One Life, One Love_, when Kanbei became engaged to someone who did not love him (but did not hate him either).

- The idea of dueling in front of the grave of someone beloved came from Saikaku's Great Mirror of Male Love. In Saikaku's book, there was a short story about a samurai who accidentally killed another samurai during a hunting trip. The killer shot a distant moving object thinking it was a deer. It turned out to be a man. The man's male lover, another samurai, traced the killer's identity from the arrow found in his lover's body. He later challenged the killer to a duel in front to his lover's grave, taking 'revenge' for the accidental killing.

- "_The old ronin realized that if Kyuuzou could not kill him, the vengeful son's only honorable choice was to take his place as the intended offering to the spirits of the deceased."_

This line was inspired by an incident from Chinese history. (Song Dynasty maybe? I don't remember the exact time period.) A soldier and a male actor loved each other. When rebels attacked the city, the warrior was killed. The actor tried to take revenge for his lover, but was unsuccessful, so he took his own life. A commentator from a later era noted that this act would have been honored by contemporaries if the actor had been a woman. But because he was a man of low social class (entertainment professionals were traditionally considered one step up from prostitutes), his 'sacrifice' was 'ignored' by public opinion.

- Kyuuzou's swords Suirou and Karou were given to him in Wolf Warriors chapter "Big Brother". The swords had no names then, but Kyuuzou later named them "Water Wolf" and "Fire Wolf" after Second Sister Mizuho (since the first kanji in her name is 'water') and Third Sister Ayame (who has a fiery temper).


	27. Revelation

Notes:

- For the map of the world of Retribution, see my profile page.

Read _Checkmate_ and _Demon from the Past_ chapters of companion fic _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor_ to get the full context of the Kan/Kyuu history mentioned in this chapter.

--

A considerable distance lay between Yoshin State in the south and Nakatsu State in the north. To reach Nakatsu, Kanbei and Kyuuzou had to travel through Hironishi, Akashima and Tosa. The long journey seemed longer still when spent in the company of a deadly enemy. Kyuuzou was now despising himself for all the times he allowed Kanbei to touch him. Whether they were traveling on busy city streets or deserted forest paths, the two men walked in silence and assiduously avoided eye contact.

Akashima was Kanbei's home province. The tall ronin was glad that their Akashima route did not take them within sight of Reiji Castle, where the Confederated Army had slain the retainers of the Aokuma Clan, including Kanbei's parents, before setting fire to the castle. Still, being 'home' after six years brought back mixed feelings for the war veteran. He wondered how the survivors of his clan were faring.

Kyuuzou too, recalled Akashima. It was there he fought on the Westward March, the last major Confederated campaign in the Great War. The silent samurai took pride in being among those who brought a quick and decisive end to the century-long conflict that made life miserable for the common people for too long. But after he saw Kanna, he was not sure if the lives of the common people had improved much after the war.

Ukyo's samurai-vs-Nobuseri experiment did not extend far beyond Tanba Prefecture, the state over which Kougakyo City's government had nominal authority. Both Kanbei and Kyuuzou knew they had to be on high alert for bandits as they moved through Hironishi and Akashima. Sworn enemies or not, the two samurai continued to guard each other as needed - if one slept, the other kept watch. But whenever Kanbei felt Kyuuzou's cold scarlet eyes on him, he was chilled to the bone. He once hoped to be the one who could warm the young man's heart, but now the dark samurai felt cold, so very cold.

Their journey proved uneventful as far as bandits were concerned. It was with relief that Kanbei finally passed the border of Tosa into Nakatsu with the slender samurai walking beside him. By this time, the wounds on Kyuuzou's hand had already closed.

The strange rock hills of lower Nakatsu were a famed sight. They looked like wide pillars reaching for the sky, and trees grew out of them at strange angles. Despite his dark mood, Kanbei could not help taking a deep breath at the beautiful scenery. Kyuuzou too, was eyeing this wondrous natural spectacle with some interest. Second Sister Mizuho had told him of Nakatsu's beauty before. But now he could see it for himself.

At long last they came to the Temple of En at Sanshou Hill. The temple was a yellow marble building with ornately carved wooden beams. The head priest, a long bearded elder, greeted them as they stepped past the entryway into the temple's outer court. "Are you here to seek a vision, honored guests?"

"Yes, we are," Kanbei bowed as he spoke. "Please accept our humble offering." He held out a brown paper envelop with both hands. Within was a string of cash.

It was then the previously silent Kyuuzou suddenly spoke. "That is _his _offering. Please accept _my_ humble gift," the younger man said as he offered up his own pink paper bag of flowers and incense with both hands.

Looking from one samurai to the other, the Priest of En noticed two small scars on the bigger man's neck. Then his eyes came to rest on the reddish spots on Kanbei's white shirt. They were faint stains – the owner must have tried to wash them out, but the priest had little doubt as to what they were – blood. The bearded old man had an inkling that this strange pair were not friends. But his well-schooled expression did not betray his doubts.

"I thank you, honored patrons," the priest in the gray robe said politely, gesturing towards the main building's entrance. "You can leave the offerings before the altar in the worship hall."

The two warriors followed the Priest of En as he led them past the tall marble pillars of the main hall. Bowing before the idol-less altar, the samurai placed their offerings on the dark wooden altar table, next to the dozens of other offerings left by other devotees. Then they bowed their heads to the floor once more.

After the couple rose to their feet, the priest said, "Come with me, I will show you the Pool of En."

The two warriors left the main hall and followed the elder down the open corridor leading to the inner court of the temple compound. They came upon a couple of novice priests – a young woman and a young man –painting a mural on the outer wall of the inner court.

Oblivious to the visitors, the young priestess was engaged in the activity of gossiping while she brought her large paint brush to the whitewashed wall, "… Yes, it was last week. I saw the fellow dunk his 'friend', if that was really his friend, into the pool in a fit of rage."

The young priest, his small paintbrush diligently mixing blue pigment in a stone dish, answered his colleague. "That fellow must have seen something in their shared past that he did not know about previously. And whatever he saw must have truly upset him. Well, I wonder what it could be… a betrayal, maybe?"

The old priest frowned slightly at his disciples. Gossiping about past visitors was not at all in keeping with the sanctity and dignity of the temple, particularly in the presence of new visitors. The elderly man made a mental note to have a word with the young novices later. But if the two warriors behind him heard those idle comments, they showed no reaction.

Passing through the round tiled entrance of the inner court, the trio approached the marble pool running down the length of the inner temple courtyard. Blue, pink and white lotuses bloomed in small clusters on the clear water.

"Look into the water and it will show you visions of your shared past," the old man said to the two samurai. "Be patient. Sometimes the visions take a while to appear."

Kanbei nodded. "Thank you, honorable priest," the old ronin bowed politely.

"Honored patrons, I will now leave you to your communion. May your visions bring you peace." With those words, the priest turned and left.

Kyuuzou could hear the priest's long robe rustling as the elder exited through the arch of the courtyard and made his way back down the corridor. Kanbei had already knelt down beside the pool, resting his elbows on the raised marble ledge. The red samurai took a deep breath and reluctantly took his place beside his sworn enemy.

For a while they saw nothing in the water except their own reflections.

"Mother said she would meet us here," Kyuuzou thought. "Where is she?"

It was then the water started to ripple. Kanbei saw strange patches of dancing light and color in the pool. These gradually took the form of people, houses, fields and trees. A vision of the past. He glanced at his slender companion. Kyuuzou must be seeing the same thing too, for the slender warrior's pale face had turned paler.

Kanbei turned his attention back to the water. In the strange vision, he saw a blond child of about ten years of age, holding Shizuka's sword. The child ran into a farmhouse, drew the sword and attacked four samurai from behind. "He looks so young!" Kanbei mused when he recognized Kyuuzou in the vision. Even at that age, Kyuuzou had alarming speed and remarkable skill. The child was the one who killed his men, the former commander could see for himself now. So that was why Shizuka's sword was clean when she drew it. The other sword – the blood-stained one – was in Kyuuzou's possession.

Kanbei saw a child, his scarlet eyes wide with horror, watching in the closet as he cut down his cousin. "My son," Shimada heard Shizuka's voice in his head. The horrible realization dawned on the old ronin. So that was where Kyuuzou first saw him 16 years ago. The old warrior felt pain ravage his heart. The boy had suffered on his account. Yet could he have prevented it even if he knew?

Kanbei cast a glance at the younger samurai. The man beside him was gripping the edge of the pool so tightly that his knuckles were white. Kyuuzou's jaw was clenched but he did not turn away from the vision.

The water rippled and the scene changed, much to the relief of both men. Now Kyuuzou saw Big Sister as she looked when she was twenty-seven years of age. He was not expecting to see her here. In this vision, Haruko, dressed as a peasant man, was standing on a hill with an ebony-skinned peasant woman. Someone was speaking to the couple. Kyuuzou recognized that someone. It was Kanbei, in his youth. He was offering a stuffed bear with black rings around its eyes to Tashiro senpai.

"That's my toy bear!" Kyuuzou realized. "So Kanbei was the samurai whom Haruko senpai spoke so well of… But if only Haruko senpai knew what he had done to my family. 'Big Brother' would have slain Kanbei for me."

Kanbei, too, was not expecting to see Tashiro Haruko in that vision. In that scene, they were both young. Kanbei was dressed in the uniform of the Allied Forces. The Southlander was disguised as a male peasant. Kanbei saw the pale samurai take the stuffed animal from him and ride off into the south. He saw her enter a house and give the toy to a tow-headed boy. It was Kyuuzou, looking a little older than he did in the last vision. But definitely still a child. Young Kyuuzou touched the white bear with black legs as if it was a miracle. Kanbei saw him hug it as he went to sleep. Playing about the lips of the sleeping child was the vaguest hint of a smile. The old ronin could not help smiling sadly. So, he had given a gift to Kyuuzou before they even met. A small comfort to an orphaned child from the man who orphaned him. A bitter irony.

But almost immediately, new doubt entered Shimada Kanbei's mind. The second time they met, Tashiro Haruko told Kanbei that her brother – the one who received the toy bear – was fighting in Akashima. That 'brother' had to be none other than Kyuuzou. That meant that…

At this very moment, the waters rippled once more and the vision changed again. Now Kanbei and Kyuuzou saw the Azalea House Restaurant in Sai'an City. In this scene, Kyuuzou was older, a boy of about 16. Kanbei was sitting two tables away. Their backs were to each other, each man unaware of the identity of the other. Indeed, Kyuuzou was not even aware of Kanbei's presence in the restaurant. Kanbei heard once more Kyuuzou's young voice speaking in outraged shock about a fallen hero.

Kanbei was still a young man in that vision. Yet Kyuuzou noticed that he looked older than the Kanbei in the last scene. His hair was longer, and his face more careworn. Observing how Kanbei wore a sympathetic expression as the dark samurai inadvertently eavesdropped on an even younger Kyuuzou, the crimson warrior now thought with bitterness, "So he had empathy for me while I was but a faceless stranger. Why? Why does he have to care? I don't need his condescension!"

Then the vision shifted again, moving to a place familiar to Kanbei - Reiji Castle in his home province of Akashima. Confederated soldiers were fighting their way into the castle even as the defending samurai of the Aokuma Clan put up a fierce resistance. Kanbei saw Kyuuzou once more. The skinny samurai was sprinting down a hallway in pursuit of two other samurai. The old ronin recognized those two samurai – his father and his mother. He saw Kyuuzou's almost reluctant face as Shimada Seibei crossed swords with the enemy soldier. Kyuuzou was a young man now, but his face still had not shed all traces of its childish roundness. There was still a trace of boyish innocence in that pale face. Yet even children had to kill or be killed in that madness known as the Great War. Kanbei knew what would follow next. He wondered if he would be able to bear it. But whether he could bear it or not, he saw it. He saw Kyuuzou cut down his father, and then his mother.

Kyuuzou saw himself once more in Reiji Castle, Akashima Province, listening to a man cry out, "Mother! Mother!" over the military radio. He saw himself shudder as he hit the "Off" button on the communications panel.

Kyuuzou was wondering what this vision had to do with his shared past with Kanbei when he heard his mother's voice speaking in his head. "The two samurai you slew were his father and his mother…"

So, the man whose anguished voice he heard over the radio six years ago was Kanbei. The crimson-eyed samurai could not marveling at the irony. The poetic justice. He stole a glance at the man beside him. Kanbei, staring at the water, was visibly trembling with distress. Kyuuzou smirked. How he delighted in hurting this man as he deserved.

But one moment later, the young veteran heard Mother's voice once more. "The people you killed were my uncle and aunt. My father's younger brother and his wife. So it came to pass that people I love had the duty of killing each other. Such is war."

Kyuuzou's smirk faded as the color drained from his face.

The two men saw the vision shift from a cold indoor scene to a bright outdoor scene. But the brightness was not from the light of the sun. It was the light of a raging fire blazing against the evening sky. Kanbei could see Kyuuzou's slender, graceful figure looking up at Reiji Castle. The young samurai was watching silently as his crab claw mecha comrades set fire to one castle wall after another. As the orange flames flickered to life, they cast a warm glow on Kyuuzou's pale face, making the rather plain youth look, for lack of a better word, beautiful.

At that moment, Kyuuzou was beautiful.

Beautiful like the great fire that engulfed Kanbei's daimyo's castle. The former Allied Forces commander pondered the cruel irony. The fortress of the military governor of Akashima Province was now a pyre for the lord of the Aokuma clan and his loyal retainers. Shimada knew his parents' bodies were burning within the castle as he observed the dancing flames reflected in Kyuuzou's scarlet eyes. The look on the young samurai's face was almost innocent, almost like that of an awestruck child watching a big, beautiful bonfire.

At that sight, the old soldier thought he felt something die within him.

"War, to me, had become a senseless contest to determine who would live to go home to see their children." Shizuka's voice spoke. "That was why I left the battlefield. I hope you can understand my choice, Kisshoumaru, even if you may never agree. Rumi and I wanted to make a new life together – without fighting."

Kanbei bowed his head.

Then they saw the water change once more. This time it showed a vision of Kyuuzou and Kanbei in the desert the night before they were to attack the Capital. The scarlet warrior was lying asleep against the hull of the wrecked Nobuseri as Kanbei knelt down beside him and gently wrapped his jacket around the young man's slender form.

Kyuuzou's shoulders began to shake.

This vision melted into another – Kanbei embracing Kyuuzou's fallen body in the Miyako. Now Kyuuzou could see what he had not been able to see before – how the dark man looked at him after he was dead. The look on Kanbei's face was one of deep sorrow, regret, and something more. The tall ronin gently removed his glove and passed his hand over those staring scarlet eyes, closing them with the caress of a lover, not the touch of a comrade-in-arms.

Observing this tender gesture, Kyuuzou thought, "What a waste of time and effort. I was already dead."

Then they saw one last vision in the water – Kanbei returning to the fallen Miyako, desperately searching through the ruins to find the one person he was forced to leave behind. At last, the tall man glimpsed the red-clad samurai, half hidden beneath a crumbled piece of ceiling. With uncharacteristic haste, the broad-shouldered warrior ran over and heaved aside the debris that covered that broken body.

Observing this scene, Kyuuzou said to himself. "How pointless to hurry. Delay would not have made any difference for a dead man."

But now that Kanbei had found the lifeless samurai, the old ronin slowly got to his knees beside Kyuuzou's corpse. Shimada proceeded to carefully lift the slender frame off the floor. He held the dead Kyuuzou close, gazing into that pale face with an expression that was a mix of tenderness and despair. Kyuuzou saw in his vision how Kanbei's strong arms bore his limp form back to Kanna. The commander laid him down gently in the water shrine, taking as much care with the thin body as he would if Kyuuzou was still alive

"He probably regrets going through all that trouble for me, now knowing what he knows," the silent samurai smirked sarcastically. But behind his smirk, he felt inexplicably sad.

"I take my leave now, my son and my cousin," the two men heard Shizuka's voice speak once more.

"Mother, don't leave,' Kyuuzou said voicelessly. But he felt her presence no more. The water stilled. The two men saw nothing more and heard nothing more in the Pool of En.

So absorbed was the crimson warrior by the visions and their revelations that the young man only now realized with shock that Kanbei had laid a big firm hand on his shoulder.

"How could I be so careless as to allow myself to be caught in this vulnerable position?!!" Kyuuzou scolded himself in alarm. Kanbei's hand could now easily shift to a vice-like grip on his neck. The older man could dunk his head in the water and hold him down until he drowned. Terror flooded Kyuuzou as unbidden memories of drowning in the sea of blood came to his mind.

Kanbei was physically stronger. The younger swordsman would be at a clear disadvantage if Kanbei attacked from behind him while he was kneeling beside the pool. At that thought, the slender samurai flung himself away from Kanbei, rising to his feet at the same time.

Kyuuzou met Kanbei's eyes as he started backing away from the pool. But the look in those dark brown eyes was not one of murderous vengeance. It was one of sad understanding.

"You did your duty as a soldier," the older man said in a neutral tone that could not quite mask his inner turmoil. "I forgive you..."

The tall ronin rose to his feet. Kyuuzou made no answer but Kanbei continued addressing him in a weary voice. "…But I understand if you still hold a grudge against me. After all, I made you who you are, in a way. Not only did I trap my own spirit within the sword, I forced your spirit to join me there."

Then Shimada turned his back on the younger man. As Kyuuzou watched Kanbei walk with heavy step towards the arch of the courtyard gate, he felt a stab of pain in his heart. He felt another stab of pain with each step the old veteran took away from him.

"He hates me now!" Kyuuzou thought as the long-haired man walked through the round gate without looking back. "It is only his annoying so-called magnanimity that caused him to say those condescendingly gracious words. But why should I care if he hates me? After all, I hate him too."

The silent samurai wondered at the strange feeling that threatened to overwhelm him. A sense of deep, deep loss. But why?

"He can never look at me the same way again!" a strange thought came uninvited to Kyuuzou's mind. Then he realized that during all the time they spent together, he had always taken for granted he would have Kanbei's adoring gaze, no matter what he did. After all, the man had 'loved' him even knowing that Kyuuzou could be the one to kill him. Kyuuzou had always told himself that he despised that strange greedy look of need and admiration in the man's dark eyes . Yet he took perverse delight in the thought that the old fool would keep worshipping him with his eyes even until the very moment Kyuuzou killed him. But that was not to be.

Now that the silent samurai no longer had Kanbei's desiring gaze, he felt abandoned. But why?

--

"Don't go!" Kanbei thought he heard those words echo in the empty silence of the temple. But he was sure no one spoke. He took another step down the long corridor.

"Don't leave!" the soundless plea came again to his mind. Like the unspoken thoughts of another being. He followed the source of those unspoken words instinctively, turning around to face Kyuuzou. The red-clad samurai stood in the arch of the inner court gate.

Neither man moved for a long, long time. Only a few yards lay between them, but that distance seemed unbridgeable.

Kyuuzou did not know what to say. But finally the thin young man spoke. "Don't you feel obligated to kill me by the code of the ancestors?" Yet the question sounded strangely hollow to his own ears.

"There were a few reasons I gave my sword to Katsushiro after the battle of Kanna." The tall samurai said slowly. "One of them was that I wanted to find a new way of seeing the world, a new way of living. I always wanted to fight a winning a battle. But after I had my wish, I was still not happy. Because I lost you. I finally realized there is more to life than the way of the sword."

Kyuuzou bit his lip and remained silent.

Kanbei paused and took a deep breath. "I took up my sword again only because I thought it would please you. But now I know something I should have realized long before. I am not someone who can please you."

Kyuuzou shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not knowing what else to do. He was not sure what Kanbei meant by those words. The dark samurai continued. "But if you still feel obligated to kill me, we can resume our duel at a more appropriate location."

The old veteran waited for a response from the silent samurai who was now looking away from him. When no reply was forthcoming, Kanbei sighed and said, "If you have no more business with me, please excuse me. I have to return this sword to Katsushiro. And I am guessing there is someone waiting for you. You should go back to her."

Then the tall ronin walked down the corridor and out of the Temple of En without a backward glance.

As Kyuuzou stood staring at the horizon long after Kanbei had disappeared from view, he heard the temple priest pass in the hallway behind him. The man was chanting:

"It is written… The clouds are still, no wind blows, it is the heart of a human that is in tumult…"

--

**Author's Comments:**

- The priest's chant is adapted from a Buddhist saying.


	28. Homecoming

**Notes:**

- In the past (and in some parts of the world today), most non-vegetarians were effectively vegetarian since they could not afford to eat meat (except on special occasions). Their daily protein came from other sources. Hence the 'vegetarian' diet of the Mount Kei'an students.

- Kyuujiro first appears 14 years ago in companion fic _The Ghosts of Chrysanthemum Bridge_

- There is NO love interest between Kyuuzou and any of the female Ocs. Neither Kazumi nor Yasue are more than acquaintances with Kyuuzou. Kyuuzou met Kazumi briefly twice – once when he was 16 (and she was 6) and once again when he was 20. He is now 26. Kyuuzou only met Yasue once when he was 20 and she was 14. Yasue has been taking care of Kyuuzou's cat Kyuujiro.

- Since the three individuals are part of the same 'in-group' – being students of the same dojo – they assume a degree of familiarity. Yasue is Kyuuzou's direct junior, so she refers to him with less formality than Kazumi does. (Yasue, Kyuuzou, Ayame, Mizuho and Haruko were all students of Aikawa Sensei, though not necessarily at the same time. Haruko inherited the dojo and Yasue from the old Sensei. Kazumi, however, is a student of Haruko only, and thus one level removed in the dojo lineage.)

**Vocab:** _kouhai_ – junior, _senpai_ – senior, _aniki, o-ni-sama_ – respectful terms of address for older brother (can be used on non-relatives)

* * *

Mount Kei'an Dojo grew much of its own food. The students tended a vegetable and herb garden on the dojo grounds. Towards the east of the garden, there was a peach tree and a plum tree that yielded fruit year after year. The only major food expenses were rice, beans and tofu. 

Yasue and Kazumi had finished their training for the day. As evening descended, they went to the vegetable plot to water the plants and stir the compost bin. It was then they noticed a lone figure approaching the dojo, silhouetted against the setting sun.

Yasue squinted at the slender newcomer. When she recognized the distinctive form of the figure's S-shaped scabbard, she called out, "Kyuuzou senpai, is that you?"

The willowy figure came closer on the mountain path, swaying slightly as he walked. Yasue and Kazumi ran over to meet him. "Aniki!" Yasue greeted Kyuuzou's weary face. "We weren't expecting a visit from you! But welcome back nonetheless!"

Kyuuzou acknowledged his two juniors with a silent nod. The three figures walked together towards the house.

"We haven't started cooking dinner yet, but we'll have something ready to eat within an hour and a half." Kazumi volunteered. "Menu for today is stir-fried cabbage, broad beans, and tofu in daikon soup."

Yasue turned towards Kyuuzou. Her expression was more somber now. "Kyuuzou senpai, there's something we have to tell you, but I don't know if this is good timing… after all, you've just arrived… maybe we should wait…" The ebony-skinned 20-year-old bit her lip.

Kyuuzou shot his junior a sidelong glance. It was Kazumi who went right to the point. "Kyuujiro passed away last week," the pale-skinned 16-year-old stated quietly. "He died of old age, I think. At first I thought he was just sleeping, but when he did not wake up after a long time, I touched him. His body was already cold."

Yasue gave Kazumi a reproachful stare but Kyuuzou did not slow his step or otherwise show any emotion. He simply asked impassively as he continued walking. "Where did you bury him?"

"Behind the maple tree," said Yasue.

Instead of heading for the dojo door, Kyuuzou changed his direction and started walking towards the maple tree on the west side of the compound. The two young women followed him. The quiet samurai came to a halt behind the tree. There a heap of stones, each laid carefully upon the other, marked the place where the gray cat lay.

Kyuuzou stared silently at the spot where his childhood companion now rested in eternal sleep. During the four years they lived together, young Kyuuzou had paid Kyuujiro little attention beyond feeding him, cleaning up after him, and ensuring that the feline was free from parasites. Even so, the boy never rebuffed the signs of affection that the usually aloof animal deemed him worthy to receive once in a while. Now the samurai suddenly realized that he missed the cat, Kyuujiro's nonchalance notwithstanding.

The news of the cat's death did not surprise him – Kyuujiro was 14 years old. And last week, as Kyuuzou made his way through Totsuda State, he felt an odd sensation run up his spine, almost like the soft thread of a feline's feet. On thinking back, that must have been shortly after the time Kyuujiro's spirit left the cat's mortal body. The gray feline used to walk on Kyuuzou's back while the tow-headed child lay face down on the sleeping mat in his little room in Mount Kei'an Dojo. But at that time, the cat's feet were warm. "Maybe that strange chilly sensation I felt last week was Kyuujiro coming to say goodbye," Kyuuzou mused.

The scarlet samurai slowly got to his knees before the cat's grave as his strange train of thought continued. "Where do the souls of cats go?" the silent samurai wondered.

Yasue and Kazumi stood by silently, keeping a respectful distance so Kyuuzou could mourn the cat in private. But they had no idea what was going on inside that blond head.

"Why is it so much easier to love a cat than to love a man?" Kyuuzou was asking himself. "Why is it so much easier to have pity on an animal than to have pity on a human?"

"Maybe it is because cats don't do the bad things that people do." He answered his own question voicelessly.

"I will carve him a proper headstone." The two onlookers heard pale-haired young man murmur more to himself than to them.

Then, without warning, the scarlet samurai collapsed and fell to the ground, right before the astonished eyes of the two female fighters.

"Kyuuzou senpai!" Yasue cried out in alarm. "Are you all right?"

The twenty-year-old was not expecting the silent samurai to be pleased at the death of his pet cat. But she was not expecting the unsentimental Kyuuzou to take Kyuujiro's death **that** hard either.

Kazumi was now kneeling next to the fallen Kyuuzou, holding her palm to his nose.

"He's still breathing," the dark-haired girl pronounced her assessment. "Maybe he just fainted from exhaustion."

--

Sitting in her study, Tashiro Sensei was poring over the pages of a commentary on the Art of War with accompanying battle case studies when she heard the agitated voices of her two students outside. "Sensei! Sensei!"

The tall sword master stepped into the hallway to see Yasue and Kazumi carrying an unconscious Kyuuzou into the house. The two young trainees hurriedly set the skinny samurai down on the living room floor.

Haruko knelt down beside the fallen samurai and seized Kyuuzou's nearest hand to feel his pulse. There was a pulse. The young man was still alive, the sword teacher noted with relief. But almost immediately the broad-shouldered warrior noticed that a wide scar crossed her _kouhai_'s palm and another set of scars crossed his fingers.

Tashiro Haruko frowned. Where did those scars come from?

--

They laid him in his old room, next to the toy bear that used to keep him company.

"There's nothing wrong with him," the doctor had said. "Exhaustion and anemia, that's all. Just feed him when he wakes."

--

Kyuuzou was dreaming of strange things – visions from the past.

It was a winter day. He must have been about six years old. He was hiding behind a snow bank in the forest outside his village. Next to him was Aunt Rumi . Aunty carried a short crossbow, not the samurai's traditional long bow. The short bow was more popular with ninja than with samurai, although some samurai also used it. It was easier to keep the short bow concealed from an enemy. But those were not things Kyuuzou could even imagine. Not in those days.

The tow-headed child looked up at the tall, ebony-skinned woman drawing her bow. Then he turned his crimson eyes towards their unsuspecting quarry upwind.

"Aunty, it is so beautiful…" the pale child asked in a hushed voice. "Do you have to kill it?"

The former Confederated Army archer replied in a low voice as she kept her eye fixed on her target. "Yes, it is beautiful, sweetie. But if I don't kill it, what will we eat this winter?"

He heard the twang of the bow and the song of the soaring arrow so true to its mark. The magnificent stag fell. It struggled to rise to its feet despite the arrow in its chest. Kyuuzou watched, transfixed. He could almost feel the animal's desperation, sense its terror. But he did not have to watch this agonizing sight for long. A second arrow hit the stag right between the eyes. It fell to the snowy ground and rose no more.

Kyuuzou rose from his hiding place and walked over to the fallen beast. The child put his small hands on the animal's smooth shiny coat, marred by blood; he stroked the dead creature as if his touch could offer some comfort. The body was still warm.

Aunty carried the stag home. Mother gutted it. Together Mother and Aunt skinned the magnificent beast, quartered it and cured the meat. Nothing was wasted. The skin was made into shoes, the antlers were sold to a pharmacist to be made into medicine, the innards were cooked and eaten. But Kyuuzou refused to eat any of the deer. He did not feel inclined to do so. All winter he ate rice, beans, and taro. Mother and Aunt looked worried and whispered to each other that he was not getting "proper nutrition".

"What a troublesome child I was," the scarlet warrior thought in his dream. Then he floated once more through the dreamscape of his near-forgotten past. He came to the time when he was eight years old. To celebrate Spring Festival, Mother had slaughtered the chicken he had been raising for an entire year. It was the worst Spring Festival Kyuuzou had so far. He was angry at his mother. She did not understand that the chicken Osen was his friend. He refused to eat Osen and sat in sullen silence at the kitchen table during a time when all families were supposed to be celebrating and feasting with joy.

Other peasant children slaughtered livestock without blinking. Kyuuzou found even the thought of such a thing distasteful. But that was in the past.

"Where is that boy now?" the dreaming samurai asked himself. "What happened to the child who used to love beautiful things and hate killing? What happened to the soul who could feel other creatures' pain?"

"He died sixteen years ago. Shimada Kanbei killed him. That pure soul died the day Kyuuzou first took up the sword to kill because of Kanbei."

Over the years, whenever the young samurai felt a twinge a pity before he struck anyone down, he told himself there was no reason for him to show the world mercy because the world had shown him no mercy. Because Kanbei had shown no mercy.

But why did it have to be Kanbei? Why?

"What is left of me now?" the scarlet warrior wondered. "Who lives within this hull since my better self died 16 years ago? A vengeful spirit who has no more purpose to roam the earth?"

The spirit wandered into the mist of dreams again. This time he came to Mount Kei'an. He dreamt that he and Third Sister were still children. Second Sister had turned into an immortal goddess and was flying away from them into the sky. Still anchored on land, Kyuuzou, Kyuujiro and Ayame chased after her. The earthbound mortals raced across fields and over hills as Mizuho floated further and further away. Finally Kyuuzou lost sight of Second Sister. By now the child felt a sharp pain throbbing in his chest. Was it because he was winded from all the running? Or was it because Mizuho was gone? Part of him wanted to cry. He felt so tired and so sad. Kyuuzou stopped running and turned around. It was then the boy noticed that Ayame and Kyuujiro were no longer behind him. The girl and the cat were gone. Now he was alone, truly alone.

The boy took a good look at his surroundings. He was standing on a seashore, facing a dark, tumultuous sea of shadow. Behind him was nothing except gray mist. He was lost.

Where were Third Sister and Kyuujiro? Were they going to catch up to him? Were they lost in the mist? Will they come looking for him?

"Why does everybody leave me?" the child wondered out loud.

Not knowing what else he could do, Kyuuzou sat down on the sandy shore and stared at the shadowy sea ahead.

--

A day passed in Mount Kei'an Dojo, and then another. Tashiro Sensei waited, but Kyuuzou did not wake. All those years of training for that one duel, of trying to be a warrior strong enough to seek vengeance, of bearing all the grief alone without shedding a tear – all those years had finally taken their toll. Kyuuzou sought to become the ultimate warrior to defeat that man. But all that he endured on account of Shimada Kanbei had come to naught.

The moment Kyuuzou found that he already had his vengeance without even knowing it, the reason for his very existence was taken from him. And something else – something he did not even want to admit he wanted – had been taken away from him. Now he had nothing. Nothing left. There was no reason to wake up.

Kazumi came by Kyuuzou's room in the morning to monitor the samurai's progress. Her senpai's eyes remained shut. Carefully, she picked up the toy bear with black eyes and ears and placed it close to the young man. She wrapped his arms loosely around the bear.

"Feel better, o-ni-sama," the student said. Then the dark-haired young woman went back to her training and her chores.

At noon, when the dark-eyed girl opened the door to Kyuuzou's room, she saw that his arms were wrapped tightly around the stuffed white bear with black legs.

"Hey, he moved!" Kazumi announced to her senpai and sensei. "He is hugging the bear! Maybe he's regaining consciousness."

Heartened by the news, Haruko and Yasue went to Kyuuzou's bedchamber.

"Hey, kid," Big Sister called out as she slid the door open. "Are you awake?"

There was no answer from the thin samurai lying within. His scarlet eyes stayed shut, his thin arms remained wrapped tightly around the gift from the dark samurai Haruko met many years ago. The tall sword master with blue-black hair frowned. Was her junior just going to waste away and die without regaining consciousness? This did not look right. Should they get a second opinion from another doctor?

As Haruko and Yasue looked at each other with worried eyes, they heard the silent samurai break his silence. "Why does everybody leave me?" he said in a pained murmur.

In surprise, teacher and student turned their eyes back towards Kyuuzou.

"Wah," Yasue piped up. "I guess the cat's death hit him really hard."

The pale-haired young woman addressed Kyuuzou encouragingly, "Well, Kyuujiro might have left this world, but the rest of us haven't left you! We're all here! Sensei, Kazumi and I, we're all here with you!"

Thinking that Kyuuzou was showing some sign of returning consciousness, Tashiro Sensei raised her hopes. But these hopes were dashed when the blond man did not answer Yasue. He just lay there with his eyes closed.

"It seems that Kyuuzou is only sleep-talking," Haruko said, stepping into the room and kneeling down next to the younger samurai. "Wake up, kid!" the broad-shouldered warrior shook Kyuuzou's slim shoulders lightly.

Receiving no answer, Haruko shook her head and sighed. She got to her feet and headed to the door. "Find another doctor," Tashiro Sensei said to Yasue.

The student nodded. "Yes, Sensei."

As the tall mannish woman was about to slide the door shut, she heard Kyuuzou's soft voice behind her.

"Kanbei…" the slender samurai spoke in his slumber. "Why?"

"Kanbei? Who in the world is Kanbei?" Yasue asked curiously.

"I do not know," Tashiro Sensei replied slowly, staring at Kyuuzou's sleeping face. A single tear was now rolling down his cheek, slowly sliding down to the sleeping mat. Haruko had never seen Kyuuzou weep, not even as a child. The sensei had the intuition that what afflicted the young man at this moment was an illness of the soul and not of the body.

"He seems to be trapped in a dream, one from which he cannot wake or does not want to wake…" The master of Mount Kei'an Dojo remarked.

"Maybe, maybe this is not just about Kyuujiro after all…" Yasue surmised.

--

Tashiro Haruko strode back to her study, thinking that the name Kyuuzou called out sounded rather familiar. "Kanbei… where did I hear that name?" the wolf warrior asked herself. Then she recalled the unfortunate Allied Air Force commander she defeated six years ago using a vastly numerically inferior team of ninjas. Shimada Kanbei was his name. The former Confederated Army Special Forces officer felt a slight twinge of pity at the memory of that enemy samurai who was left with nothing – not even the chance to fight a losing battle. But that meant the Confederated Army commandos did their job well.

Still, could it be that Kanbei? Haruko shrugged. There were many people named 'Kanbei'. That had to be a mere coincidence.

Then the dark-eyed ex-samurai recalled that Ayame also mentioned the name 'Kanbei' in her most recent letter. Now that she remembered it, Kanbei was someone Kyuuzou was working with on the Kanna Project. Third Sister had met him briefly while she was in Kougakyo with Kyuuzou.

"Kazumi," the tall warrior addressed her youngest disciple as she stepped into the hallway. "I'm going to town to send a message to Hokuhei."

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

- Hokuhei is the northern city where Ayame lives.

- Haruko and Kanbei are both 41 years old at this point. Ayame is 29. Kyuuzou is 26.

- The Haruko vs Kanbei backstory is in _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor_.

- The dream scene is inspired by the closing sequence of _Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water_, in which Nadia, King and Jean were running endlessly, chasing after an aircraft in the sky; and a scene from the opening sequence of _Twelve Kingdoms_ in which a goddess with a streaming sash is flying above a herd of kirin.


	29. Facing the Past

**Note:** The line "If a chick cannot break its eggshell, it will die without being born" is borrowed from the Revolutionary Girl Utena anime.

**Warning:** Some strong language

* * *

"Kanbei… why?" the old ronin could almost hear Kyuuzou's voice echoing in his mind as he took the east road from Nakatsu to Kougakyo. 

Shimada Kanbei attributed this strange feeling to his own tortured imagination.

"Why?" Kanbei asked in return. "Why did things have to happen this way?"

Day after day, the tall ronin strode resolutely in the southeast direction, never looking back. Yet the vision of the slender young samurai standing in the arch of the temple courtyard kept coming back to him. Kyuuzou looked almost lost at that moment.

"I should not think about him anymore," the 41-year-old samurai told himself as he walked unflinchingly into the biting night wind. "It does neither of us any good. The best thing for Kyuuzou now is to forget that I ever existed. I hope he finds some degree of peace and happiness with that golden-eyed woman. Perhaps she can make him forget about me."

The old soldier sighed sadly as he journeyed on alone.

--

Kyuuzou had been asleep for a week in Mount Kei'an Dojo.

"He's going to die of thirst and hunger if we let him go on let this." Yasue said to Kazumi as the two students of Mount Kei'an Dojo knelt down beside the sleeping Kyuuzou.

Kazumi sighed. "Saa…" Then she asked. "Did Sensei get a reply from Ayame-sama yet?"

The 20-year-old swordfighter answered, "No, the letter was sent by fast turtle courier three days ago. It might just have reached Hokuhei by now. Then it will take us at least another three days to get a response from Ayame senpai."

"Does Sensei think Ayame-sama can help? Will she come to us?" her pale-skinned junior wondered as she gazed at the cloudy sky outside the bedroom window.

"I don't know…" Yasue admitted, "But we can't wait for her to get here, that is, if she's even coming here. Sensei did not say anything about summoning Ayame senpai; she only said that Ayame senpai _may_ know something that _might_ help Kyuuzou. But whatever the case is, Kyuuzou senpai might have wasted away by the time 'help' comes, if help comes at all."

Tashiro Sensei's two students sat in silence on the reed floor mat, peering at Kyuuzou's emaciated face.

"How about giving him some rice soup?" The senior student finally ventured. "You hold his mouth open while I pour the stuff down this throat."

"What if the stuff goes down his windpipe? We're going to drown Kyuuzou senpai!" Kazumi protested.

"Saa… the venture is not without its risks." Yasue answered her junior, "If we try to feed him, he _might_ die. But if we don't feed him, he _will_ die."

"Sensei is going to kill us if we cause Kyuuzou senpai's demise!" The 16-year-old stated matter-of-factly. The sole sign of Kazumi's apprehension was her twitchy fingers picking at the fibers of the reed floor mat.

At this reminder, her ebony-skinned senior blanched.

"Are you willing to take responsibility for Kyuuzou senpai's accidental death?" Kazumi asked Yasue bluntly.

The two young maidens stared at each other for a long time, their ears tuned to Kyuuzou's barely audible breathing. Then the older student said decisively, "I'll bring the rice soup"

--

It was a sunny day in Kougakyo. Shichiroji started work early that morning. Right after breakfast, he scrubbed and polished the wooden corridors of Yukino's inn. "It helps to have a mechanized arm," the former aide said to himself. After his first task was done, the blond picked up a broom and went outside to sweep the threshold of the House of the Fireflies.

While the former samurai was engaged in this mundane task, his mind could not help wandering to other matters. "I wonder where Kanbei-sama is now?" he asked himself.

Two months ago, Kanbei had bade farewell to Yukino and Shichiroji. The tall ronin did not speak of where he was going, but Shichiroji knew his old friend was going to meet with Kyuuzou. He wondered if this was the last time he would see Kanbei, but the war veteran understood it would be futile to try to dissuade his former commander. The dark man had said to the blond just before he left, "I will return to see you, if all goes well."

But as the days dragged into weeks, Shichiroji's hopes started to dim. "Did the two fighters duel? Was Kanbei killed?" the former aide could not help tormenting himself with these questions as he worked his way down the wooden steps with his trusty broom.

It was then he heard a familiar voice say, "Shichiroji!"

The pale man looked up from his work. Kanbei was standing in the courtyard of Yukino's inn.

"Kanbei-sama!" Shichiroji cried out with relief as he came down the stairs to meet his friend. "Please come in! You look tired."

He ushered the long-haired ronin into the inn and sat him down in a pleasant guest room. As the blond eagerly set food and drink before his old commander, he waited for Kanbei to give an account of what had transpired these few weeks. But the older man said nothing. He just tucked in his large bowl of broiled eel and steamed rice in silence. Shichiroji set his elbows on the tabletop and leaned forward expectantly, hoping that Kanbei would take the hint and fill him in on his adventure. But all the old samurai finally said to him was, "So, how have you and Yukino been doing over the past couple of months? Anything new in Kougakyo?"

"We have been doing fine. And nothing unusual has happened around here." Shichiroji was no longer able to contain himself. "But what about you? What have you been doing over the past two months? Is all well with you?"

"Do I look like I'm not well?" The dark man asked in an unreadable tone.

The blond paused for a moment. Then he queried. "Is Kyuuzou-dono…"

Kanbei answered slowly as he set down his bowl, "He is still alive." Beyond that, the old commander did not say more. It was all very unsatisfying to the curious Shichiroji.

After Kanbei had finished his meal, he said to Shichiroji. "Thank you for your hospitality. I am in your debt."

"Don't mention it," the blue-eyed man replied with a smile. He poured Kanbei another cup of _koucha_. Shichiroji's commander had always preferred red tea to green tea.

"I will leave Kougakyo tomorrow," the dark-haired samurai stated as he picked up the porcelain teacup.

"Where will you be headed, Kanbei-sama?"

"Back home, to Akashima Province," came the almost sad reply.

"Oh???" Shichiroji was surprised. For Kanbei, the memory of home had been so full of sorrow at loved ones lost. So full of the shame of failure and frustration at deeds not done. As far as Shichiroji knew, the old ronin had not been back to Akashima since his last unhappy visit at the end of the Great War. Shichiroji did not think Shimada would ever return home. But it seemed that he was wrong. The blond shot his friend an odd look.

"It is time for me to face my past." The former commander said cryptically. "I wish to pay my respects to our deceased clan members. I wonder if their swords still stand in the shadows of Reiji Castle as I last saw them, or if their graves have been moved. Or perhaps their graves are still there but their swords have been stolen. Whatever the case may be, I wish to see for myself and set things right if I can."

Shichiroji gave his friend a small, pained smile. "Please give them my regards when you see them," he said softly.

Kanbei nodded. "I will."

--

Yet Kanbei had only been gone for a week when Shichiroji received another unexpected visitor at the House of the Fireflies. This one was much less welcome. When the thirty-one-year-old came to the door of the inn one afternoon, he caught sight the former enemy combatant who was last seen in Kyuuzou's company. The dark warrior wearing double katana was marching into the court of the House of the Fireflies with what Shichiroji interpreted to be a fierce, murderous look in her topaz eyes. The blond noticed that Kyuuzou's so-called sister brought a lot of baggage in addition to her twin swords – a backpack, a bow, and a quiver full of arrows.

Shichiroji also had a lot of baggage – but of a different kind.

"She's armed to the teeth! Is she here to murder me?" the blond samurai cursed silently. "That yellow-eyed demon from the Great War! I will die fighting this time!"

"What are you doing here?" The Allied Forces veteran snapped at the Confederated Army veteran when Ayame reached the foot of the stairs leading up to the inn's entrance.

The unsmiling visitor went right to the point. "I'm looking for Kanbei."

"He's not here anymore!" Shichiroji said with more than a hint of impatience. "Please leave!"

Shichiroji had unwittingly given his foe more information than she started out with. All that Ayame knew until this point was what Kyuuzou had told her – Shichiroji was living in the House of the Fireflies, and he and Kanbei were close associates.

"Ah, so Kanbei was here…" The dreadlocked woman thought. "I didn't know that." Kyuuzou's Third Sister was more certain than before that she could drag information on Kanbei's whereabouts out of Shichiroji. And now she was twice as determined to do so.

"I will leave," the golden-eyed war veteran answered the blond uncompromisingly, "after you've told me where Kanbei is."

"And why should I?" Shichiroji replied uncooperatively. "What business do you have with him? How do I know you will not harm him?"

"What do you take me for?" The dark beauty's ire was rising. "I already told you, the Great War is OVER! I have no intention of killing anyone who does not threaten me and mine. Just tell me where to find Kanbei! I need to talk to him!"

"He's not even in Kougakyo anymore, so forget about it," The pale man said evasively.

"So WHERE can I find him?" Ayame demanded. "This is urgent. It concerns Kyuuzou."

"I'm still not telling you," Shichiroji declared firmly. "How do I know if I can trust you?"

Ayame's eyes narrowed as she recalled the words Haruko wrote to her. "If a chick cannot break its eggshell, it will die without being born. Kyuuzou seems to be trapped in a strange dream. The dream is his shell. Our _kouhai _will die without waking if he cannot break his shell. I pray that he would have the strength to break free of this state. But in case he does not, please make haste…"

The visitor's desperation quickly congealed into fury. Kyuuzou's Third Sister finally exploded into a string of expletives. "You #$ piece of ----!" She screamed at Shichiroji, "So you would let my brother die just because you have something against me personally! You're SO asking to have your a-- kicked and your nose broken!"

Ayame threw her backpack and her archery equipment down on the stone courtyard floor. Her hands went to her sword hilts as she stepped forward. "Tell me where Kanbei is!" The former samurai commanded. "He might be the only one who can help Kyuuzou!"

The blue-eyed man started slightly but he pressed his lips together stubbornly and remained silent. He wanted to ask what was happening with Kyuuzou but his entire being revolted against speaking further with this hated enemy who was a living reminder of the trauma and the grief of the war.

"Bloody #$!!!" Ayame swore as she drew her swords. "Do I have to start TORTURING you to make you talk?"

Shichiroji shifted into fighting stance as he reached for the walking stick he kept tucked in his belt. With one quick flick of his wrist, the innocent-looking short stick extended into a three-pronged spear.

Just then, a woman's anxious voice spoke from behind the unfashionably-dressed hotel employee. "Anata, what's happening?" Yukino had just stepped out of the inn's door.

Shichiroji was about to say to his employer, "Dear, please get back into the house," when Ayame, who sensed that the new arrival did not have the _ki_ of a fighter, shouted first. "Get back into the house! For your own safety!"

The dark-haired fighter was not looking at the woman who had just stepped up behind Shichiroji. Ayame's golden eyes had not left her opponent for a second. But Yukino understood those words were meant for her. It was this outburst from the unfriendly stranger that led the innkeeper to think that maybe the fighter confronting Shichiroji was not exactly a villain, that perhaps there was a misunderstanding.

The pale-skinned woman resolutely stepped in front of Shichiroji, firmly pushing his spear out of the way, much to the outrage of the blond man. "Please, good guest, can we sit down and talk about the business that brings you here?" The incredulous Shichiroji heard Yukino address the dark beauty.

"Talk?" Ayame's personal policy had always been "Kill first, talk later." But a dead Shichiroji would be a useless Shichiroji.

Kyuuzou's Third Sister cautiously eyed this black-eyed stranger whom she did not know if she could trust. After all, this kimono-clad lady was apparently Shichiroji's woman. But there were no other options besides incapacitating and torturing Shichiroji, and the success of violent tactics was not guaranteed. Some samurai would rather die by biting off their own tongues than give up information about their comrades.

The golden-eyed warrior lowered her twin swords.

--

Shortly later, the black-haired innkeeper was seated with the golden-eyed woman in a private tearoom in the House of the Fireflies. Shichiroji was not there with Yukino. He was stewing in the next room, doing breathing exercises to control his angry shivers.

"Tea?" Yukino asked Ayame.

"No thanks," the dark-skinned woman replied. "No disrespect intended, but I'm in no mood to eat or drink while my younger brother lies wasting away unto death." In reality, Ayame was too practical to deny food and drink. She was only wary of being poisoned by a stranger.

After having heard the warrior woman's story, Yukino said. "I'm sorry to hear about the condition of Kyuuzou-dono. This is indeed urgent… If you can wait a moment, let me try to speak with Shichiroji and find out exactly where Kanbei is."

The woman with dark dreadlocks curtly nodded her assent. The innkeeper rose quietly and left the room.

Ayame counted the seconds that passed as she heard a man's raised voice and a woman's gentle implorations drifting in from the next room. All hope now lay with the persuasive abilities of Yukino.

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

- As to why Shichiroji ended up having so much baggage from the war, see companion fic _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor._

- Kanbei's last visit to Akashima is described in "The Shadow of the Sword" chapter of _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor_.


	30. Journey to Akashima

**Notes: **

- Illustrated version of Chapters 14 now online. New illustration has been added to Chapter 28. See my profile page for link to illustrated chapters.

- Reworked Chapters 27 - 29. Check out the (hopefully) improved versions.

- In this ficverse, Kougakyo is in Tanba Prefecture.

- For the map of the world of Retribution, see my profile page.

- In the 'real world', typically only high-ranking samurai were trained in equestrian archery, and the majority of samurai, who were of low rank, did not have this benefit. The warriors who went mounted into battle were usually officers of significant rank. (Source: Ratti/Westbrook, _Secrets of the Samurai_)

-Ayame, despite her sword skills, is not likely to be a very skilled equestrian archer, considering her social background. In the South, East and West of this ficverse, (as in the 'real world') only high-ranking samurai were formally trained in mounted archery, though that did not stop people of lesser lineage from trying to acquire such skills. The Mount Kei'an Dojo students had some training in mounted archery; Mizuho excelled at it, as mentioned in Happy Endings, but Ayame's aim is not perfect. (See Wolf Warriors "The Way of Ashura" chapter).

-On the topic of archery, it was the skill of most "traditional significance" to a samurai. Next in importance came spear-fighting. Sword fighting came in only third. (Ratti/Westbrook in _Secrets of the Samurai_ ) Ratti/Westbrook describe archery as "more exclusive and aristocratic in nature". In an interview with the Tokyo U history professor in the Otogi Zoshi anime DVD, the Japanese historian said that the primary weapon of the high-ranking warrior was the bow. In the Hei'an era Otogi Zoshi anime, the son/daughter of the leader of the Minamoto clan carried a bow, quiver and short sword into battle. Minamoto no Raikou did not even carry a katana. Tsuna, the low-ranking warrior accompanying the clan leader, was the one wielding the sword.

This, however, did not mean that high-ranking samurai did not learn to use the katana with skill. (It was important in close-range combat) It was just not the weapon that 12th century military nobles chose to identify their status with. Lidstone observes in his _Kendo_: "people in high positions were delighted when their ability as archers was acclaimed but made every endeavor to have their prowess with the sword hushed up."

During the later Sengoku Jidai (I believe Seven Samurai is set towards the end of that period), the bow/spear still had supremacy over the sword because these long/mid-range weapons mattered more in the battlefield situations of that era. It was only during the relatively recent Pax Tokugawa, when there were much fewer battles for samurai to fight, that the prestige of the sword increased. The nature of violent encounters had "moved from the battlefields to the streets, mansions, and castles, finding particular expression in a series of intrigues, assassinations, half-aborted revolts, and numerous instances of petty lawlessness… the importance of the bow and arrow or of the spear in combat was lessened, while the … importance of the sword was greatly enhanced." (_Secrets of the Samurai_, Ratti/Westbrook)

**Warning:** Some violence.

* * *

In the crimson warrior's seemingly never-ending dream, he was still a child sitting on the gray sand beach, staring at the dark, foaming waves ahead. The boy's skinny fingers aimlessly drew circles in the Sands of Time, his dull crimson eyes were fixed on the Sea of Shadow. Kyuuzou knew not that at this moment in the waking world, his thin body was being propped up by "Big Brother" Haruko while his junior Yasue was trying to pour a bowl of rice soup into his mouth. 

Yasue gave an exasperated hiss as a trickle of rice soup spilled from the corners of her senpai's stubbornly closed lips. Seeing this, Tashiro Sensei unapologetically pulled Kyuuzou's jaws open with her large strong hands, forcibly unclenching his teeth.

Tilting the unconscious samurai's head slightly back, the sword master told her student. "Try again." This time, the soup went down Kyuuzou's throat with less resistance. The two double-sword fighters cautiously laid Kyuuzou back down on the padded sleeping mat. "Turn him on his side this time so that he doesn't get bedsores," instructed the Sensei. Yasue complied.

Their task of feeding the patient accomplished, the two women rose to leave the room, only to hear Kyuuzou murmur "Kanbei…" the moment they turned their backs on him.

"He's calling for Kanbei again?" Haruko raised her eyebrows slightly.

"The bear!" exclaimed Yasue as she glanced back at her sleeping senpai. "We forgot his bear!" The pale-haired maiden briskly crossed to the other side of the room where the white toy bear with black legs and ears was sitting neglected in a corner. Earlier, before they attempted to feed rice soup to the unconscious samurai, Tashiro Sensei had pulled the bear out of Kyuuzou's arms and tossed it aside.

Now Yasue placed the stuffed bear against Kyuuzou's chest and wrapped his arms around it once more. The blond samurai slowly embraced the toy animal.

Haruko stared at the strange sight. Why was it that only the presence of a childhood toy could cause the seemingly unconscious Kyuuzou to show some signs of awareness?

At that moment, Kazumi's voice floated in through the open window. "Sensei! A fast turtle courier just came by with a letter from Hokuhei!"

Making their way down to the first floor, Yasue and Haruko found Kazumi waiting for them at the foot of the stairs. With both hands, the youngest student presented a blue paper envelope to Tashiro Sensei.

Tashiro Sensei opened the letter. She noted that it was dated three days ago. The contents read:

_Haruko-sama, _

_I will leave for Kougakyo immediately. I believe I can find someone in Iyashi no Sato who may know the whereabouts of the aforementioned Kanbei. If I locate Kanbei, I will endeavor to bring him to Kyuuzou as soon as I can. In the meantime, please take good care of 'imoto-chan.' _

_Regards, _

_Third Sister_

Turning her head slightly, Tashiro Sensei cast a stern look at her eldest disciple who was craning her neck in an attempt to peep at the letter over the tall Sensei's broad shoulders. Yasue took a step back apologetically, but was still not ashamed enough to refrain from asking. "Is it from Ayame-senpai?"

"Yes," the sword master answered. "She wrote that she is going to Kougakyo to ask after the whereabouts of Kanbei. The letter was written three days ago, which means Ayame should have reached Tanba Prefecture by now."

--

In an airy private tearoom in the House of the Fireflies, a woman carrying twin swords sat alone at a low table, her backpack, bow and quiver set on the floor beside her. Ayame was tapping her fingers impatiently against the lacquered table top when she heard a knock on the door. The screen door to the guestroom slid open and Yukino re-entered. Trailing behind the black-haired woman was a sullen blond.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting," the innkeeper bowed gracefully before the golden-eyed swordswoman. Then Yukino turned towards her companion. "Shichiroji-dono…" she began.

The unsmiling man addressed Ayame. "Kanbei has gone to Akashima Province, but I won't tell you his exact destination in the province…"

"WHAT?!!" Ayame roared. She could not possibly search an entire province for one man.

"… But I will take you to him," Shichiroji added grudgingly. "If you attempt to harm him, I will be there to stop you."

"You paranoid creature!" The dreadlocked woman muttered under her breath. But much as neither war veteran fully trusted the other, Ayame did not want to waste more time arguing. Shichiroji's offer was an acceptable compromise.

"Very well, shall we leave now?" Kyuuzou's Third Sister rose from her seat and picked up her backpack and archery equipment.

--

The fragile truce between the two former foes lasted until they got to a fast turtle dealership in the outskirts of Kougakyo. Ayame insisted they should pursue after Kanbei on turtleback – they could not afford the time it took to travel on foot. Shichiroji did not disagree with the mode of transportation, but an ugly argument broke out over who should pay for Shichiroji's fast turtle.

"This whole journey is YOUR idea, so you should pay for my ride," The man insisted stubbornly.

"My idea?" The golden-eyed woman snarled. "You could have told me exactly where Kanbei is going so that I can go there on my own, but YOU insisted on tagging along! And now you want me to pay for your land turtle?"

Ayame was not an individual of great wealth, but she had wisely brought just enough money to buy a fast turtle in the suburbs of Kougakyo where prices were lower than they were in the city proper. However, she did not have enough cash to pay for two turtles.

"If I set a precedent by paying this time, this fellow will want me to pay for food, water, new shoes, sun screen or whatever else he considers a 'necessity' for this journey…" Ayame eyed the blond coldly. But Kyuuzou's life force was probably draining away with each passing second they stood here quarrelling.

Shooting a withering glare at Shichiroji, the akindo woman whipped out her Merchant Bank of Hokuhei credit card. "Charge this please," she spoke briskly to the fast turtle dealer.

Ayame scowled at Kanbei's former aide. "Well, I catered to your wish this time. So it is only fair that I get to decide the next major course of action on this journey, whatever that may be. Let me make it clear in advance that you will acquiesce to my wishes when the time comes."

"Within reasonable limits," Shichiroji scowled back as he mounted the land turtle his foe had paid for.

--

Leaving the metropolis behind, the two war veterans crossed the Tanba border and galloped west through the northern region of Nankai Prefecture. Shichiroji kept his extendable yari within easy reach, in a spear-holder attached to his mount's saddle. Ayame, carrying the sword Shourin across her back and wearing its twin Aoki in her belt, kept her bow in her left hand while she steered her land turtle with her right. A quiver of arrows rested on her hip.

Nankai Prefecture was a place that Ayame was familiar with – it was there she spent the better part of her girlhood as a trainee in Mount Kei'an Dojo. But never for a moment did the armed travelers let their guard down. Ukyo's samurai-vs-Nobuseri experiment was largely limited to Tanba Prefecture, the state over which Kougakyo City Government had jurisdiction. Beyond Tanba State, Nobuseri still roamed the land.

The former samurai cut through the state of Nankai without incident, but when they passed the northern edge of the Gray Forest on the Higashihara border, Ayame sensed watchers among the trees. "Could the Nobuseri have worse timing?" Third Sister cursed under her breath as she drew an arrow from the quiver and fitted it to her bow.

"Prepare for battle!" the former Confederated Army captain barked at her companion.

"Who gives you the right to order me around anyway?" Shichiroji answered mentally while turning his attention to the ten Mimizuku bandits riding out of the forest with their bows drawn. He heard Ayame's crisp command. "Take out their leader! I'll cover you with my arrows."

"A convenient strategy to get me killed while she hides behind me," the blue-eyed man muttered under his breath. But still, he had to honor their earlier 'agreement' that his former enemy had the 'right' to make the next major decision on this journey. With one quick motion, the former Allied Forces samurai extended his telescopic spear to full length.

As Ayame let fly her arrows at the left flank of the approaching bandits, the blond rode towards the bandit leading the charge, deflecting Nobuseri arrows by deftly spinning his spear on the right flank of his mount. Still, it had been many years since he had practiced mounted warfare, and the samurai was not as dexterous as he would have liked. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the pair of Mimizukus approaching on his left aim their bows at him. Shichiroji made a motion to switch his spear over to the left flank but found himself split between caution and haste - the move had to be exercised with some care as to avoid lopping his own land turtle's head off.

"I'm too slow!" Shichiroji barely finished his thought when he saw the two Mimizukus on his left fall to the ground, struck down by arrows. Shichiroji was vaguely aware of Ayame's presence behind him. Quickly, he turned his attention back to his target.

The former soldier dodged a Nobuseri arrow by leaning to his right, conveniently extending his yari at the same time to trip the fast turtle charging at him. The Nobuseri's mount fell to the ground, throwing its rider with a bellow of agony. The dismounted Mimizuku had barely gotten to his feet before he was struck in the head by another of Ayame's arrows.

Still, the human warriors were outnumbered. There were 7 more bandits, including the leader, Shichiroji counted. And they were so far undeterred. Just then, the blond man heard someone give a ear-splitting battle kiai behind him. The sound was so loud and unearthly that not just the bandits but also Shichiroji were momentarily stunned. Two more arrows whizzed from behind Shichiroji and a couple more Mimizukus tumbled off their turtles.

"Was that crazy yell from that bad ass Confederated Army veteran?" the blond recovered a split second faster than his opponents and charged forward to impale the bandit leader on his three-pronged yari. Black grease spurted from the Mimizuku leader as Shichiroji cast him to the ground.

Upon seeing their leader's demise, the remaining four Mimizuku scattered in different directions, running back towards the cover of the trees. Ayame drew her bow and shot at the bandits fleeing east. One more Mimizuku fell to the ground, leaving a riderless turtle galloping towards the forest. As the dark-haired woman reached into her quiver for another arrow, one of the bandits fleeing west turned and fired an arrow at her. Out of the corner of her eye, Ayame saw the parting shot. She tried to steer her mount out of the line of fire but Ayame's Kougakyo-bought fast turtle was not as well-trained and as maneuverable as the battle-ready fast turtles used by samurai. "Move it!" she willed the beast but in the split millisecond it took to make this wish, a sweep from Shichiroji's three pronged yari had knocked the enemy projectile aside. Ayame returned fire, shooting down the fleeing Mimizuku.

"Forget the rest! Let's leave quickly!" Shichiroji said to the woman. Ayame scowled but seeing that the two surviving bandit archers had already reached the cover of the trees and were out of range, she spurred her mount to follow after the escaping Shichiroji.

--


	31. Between the Dead and the Living

**Vocab **

_- kachi_ – lower samurai (the _kachi _are subdivided into ranks, and these divisions may vary between clans. The majority of samurai belong to the _kachi_. Only a minority belong to the higher samurai.)

_- kyunin _– higher samurai (also further divided into ranks)

- _akindo _– merchant(s)

**Notes**

- In this ficverse, Kanbei belongs to the _kyunin_ category since his father and uncle were of the rank of _churo_ (retainers of the first rank, paid not in rice but in land from the daimyo). The woman he was betrothed to in companion fic _One Life, One Love_ was also of _kyunin_ category, but her family ranked above his – her father was of the cabinet of superintendents (higher than the _churo_ and reporting directly to the daimyo). But she did not love Kanbei (their marriage was arranged). Instead she loved a samurai from the _kachi_ category, with tragic results.

- different clans divide their upper samurai and lower samurai differently. The _kachi_ vs _kyunin_ division I use in this ficverse is that of the Okudaira clan as presented in _Secrets of the Samurai_ by Ratti/Westbrook. I'm borrowing elements of the Okudaira organization as well as elements of the Yamanouchi clan organization for the samurai clans' internal divisions in this ficverse.

- In the Retribution ficverse, a samurai's rank in the Confederated Army – Kyuuzou's side – may not be the same as his/her rank in his/her clan of origin. This is due partly to the Feddies' practice of mixing samurai from different clans in even the smallest unit, and their policy of allowing the enlistment of commoners like Kyuuzou, Ayame and Mizuho, as long as they demonstrated the required fighting skills. On the 'losing side' of the Great War, the Allied Forces of which Kanbei was a part tended to transplant clan ranks into the combined army, because smaller units and their officers were comprised of samurai contributed by the same clan. Once in the combined armies, samurai could get promoted beyond their clan ranks.

- The two combined armies that fought against each other in this ficverse had a different ranking system from the contributing clans. In samurai clans, the ranks reflected function, e.g. in the _kachi_ category, accountants ranked above palace guards who in turn ranked above foot soldiers; in the _kyunin_ category, the ministers ranked above the physicians who ranked above the retainers of the first rank, to give an example from the 'real world' Okudaira Clan. But in the Confederated Army of this ficverse, _kyunin_ refers to any officer ranking Major and above, while _kachi _refers to anyone ranking Captain and below. (So Kyuuzou and Ayame were both in the category of _kachi_ even though Ayame outranked Kyuuzou) The lowest of the _kachi_ were the _ashigaru_ (foot soldiers) - as commoner recruits, Kyuuzou, Ayame and Mizuho all started their military careers as _ashigaru_ of Private rank. A samurai who went into the Confederated Army as part of the troop contribution from a samurai clan (e.g. Haruko) may, depending on his/her clan rank, skip the _ashigaru_ stage and start out as an officer, or at least skip the Private rank and start out as a Specialist or Corporal.

- In this ficverse, each state was ruled by a samurai clan, aka military government, during the Great War. In the post-war years, the state governments on the winning side were mostly left intact (one exception being the situation described in the last chapter of 'Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor', in which power was transferred from the samurai clan that used to rule Tanba State to the merchant corporation running Kougakyo). The samurai clans/state governments on the 'losing side', however, were decimated if not outright eliminated during the Westward March of the Confederated Army.

* * *

A strange duo, one dark, one pale, rode up to a highway rest stop in Higashihara State. The taller of the two was a blond of average build, dressed in rather mismatched colors – light purple jacket, loud yellow shirt and maroon pants. He did not carry anything with him other than a small knapsack and a walking stick. The shorter traveler was a swarthy woman with near-black hair. She carried twin swords in pale turquoise scabbards, a short bow, a half-empty quiver and a large backpack. This woman's sharp yellow eyes scanned the rest stop's concrete compound. Observing that the restrooms had plumbing, her stony expression gave way to a quirky smile. 

Even the fast turtles had the luxury of piped water in this place. Three fast turtles belonging to other travelers were drinking at a round fountain into which a small stream of running water spouted. The spout was molded in the shape of a land turtle's head and water poured from the stone beast's mouth. Ayame promptly dismounted and brought her fast turtle to water at the concrete fountain.

"Running the water prevents mosquitoes from breeding," Shichiroji thought as he slid off his fast turtle and led the beast to the turtles' drinking fountain. "I would guess the water is probably pumped back up to the spout and recycled. The Higashihara State government must be functioning reasonably well to provide travelers with such amenities on state highways."

According to news brought by travelers to Yukino's inn, governance in the states on the 'winning side' was generally much better than that in the states on the 'losing side' over the last few years. Shichiroji's mind wandered to Akashima State where his young self had entered the service of Kanbei's clan 16 years ago. "I wonder how things are in Akashima Province. I heard there is effectively no government there although there had been talk that the town-based merchant corporations are trying to extend their rule into the countryside. Then I also heard rumors that some survivors of the Aokuma Clan are trying to reorganize…"

The blond samurai's thoughts ran on as he listened to the sound of his land turtle lapping up water. "That S.O.B. Amanushi used the Confederated Army to defeat the samurai clans backing the shogun, but he did not make it a priority to set up functioning provincial governments in their place. I have been told that the Emperor awarded some of the territories of the losing clans to the merchants who financed the court. Other territories were given to favored courtiers, to high-ranking Feddie samurai, and to key clan leaders who supported him. The remaining lands the Amanushi held in his own name – these regions, according to gossip, are in the worst state because little or no effort has been made by the Amanushi to restore the infrastructure destroyed by the war or to maintain public security… It is unfortunate that most of Akashima falls into the latter category, from what I've heard."

"Hey," the double-sword fighter standing next to the former samurai interrupted his mental meanderings. "Thank you for blocking that arrow for me just now."

"Don't bother thanking me. I didn't do it for your sake," came the Allied Forces veteran's caustic reply. "The only reason I am here is because I cannot stand by and let Kyuuzou-dono die a second time, that is, assuming his condition is what you described it to be."

"Thanks for saving my life anyway," the former Confederated Army officer gave him a slightly twisted smile.

"Well, you took down the Nobuseri trying to kill me, so I suppose we're 'even'," Shichiroji answered grudgingly, turning his eyes back to the turtles drinking greedily from the fountain.

"You were pretty good at fighting on turtleback," Ayame remarked. "I'm guessing that you must be a high-ranking samurai?"

"Quite the contrary," Shichiroji replied, loosening up slightly at the compliment. "At the end of the war I was still a captain, ranked among the _kachi_."

"Oh?" the dark woman said. "Well, your clan must have given even their lower-ranking members a broad training."

"It was not so," The pale man answered. "But my master, Shimada Kanbei, was very kind to disregard rank and train me in the skills which he had learnt as one of the higher samurai. Of course I could never surpass someone like him who was born into a family of high rank and studied these arts since a tender age."

"You regard Kanbei highly, I see." Ayame said as she led her land turtle from the water fountain to the nearby turtle-feeding station.

"Yes," the blond samurai answered the other former warrior as he followed with his land turtle in tow. "Commander Shimada is a generous and magnanimous man."

Approaching the blue-shirted attendant manning the turtle feed counter, Ayame passed the turtle feeder a handful of coins. "Food for two turtles, please?"

The rest stop attendant promptly filled one of the nearby feeding troughs with cut grass and leaves. Ayame led her fast turtle up to the manger and the beast promptly dunked its head into the wooden trough. Shichiroji's land turtle followed eagerly.

For some moments, the two warriors stood watching the turtles chew through the juicy green leaves.

"Can you tell me more about Kanbei's relationship with Kyuuzou?" Ayame asked Shichiroji suddenly.

The man was vaguely uncomfortable at this line of questioning. Although Kanbei had never spoken to Shichiroji about his private feelings towards the scarlet samurai, the former aide was sharp enough to perceive that his commander looked upon the slender warrior with open desire. Shichiroji was not sure of Ayame's relationship with Kyuuzou. Was Kyuuzou's senpai also the scarlet samurai's lover? Did she see Kanbei as a threat and a rival?

At any rate, the blond with the bad hairdo did not wish to discuss his old friend's personal affairs with a near-stranger. Shichiroji focused on the rhythmic sound of turtle jaws crunching vegetation while he considered a diplomatic answer. Then he decided that even if he wanted to answer Ayame's question, he did not have anything of substance to tell her.

"I do not know much beyond the fact that Kyuuzou-dono joined our team after he killed a Raiden threatening Kanbei in the desert." Shichiroji addressed Ayame in a neutral tone. "He went with us to Kanna and fought bravely under Kanbei's leadership. He was killed in the Capital while trying to save Kanbei from some rapid-fire gunner mechas."

"I see," the svelte swordfighter replied.

To change the topic, Shichiroji asked a question in turn. "How did Kyuuzou come back to life, may I inquire? I saw him die with my own eyes."

Ayame fixed her golden eyes on him, She gave a crooked, sarcastic smile that was not exactly pleasant to behold. "Even if I told you how he returned to the world of the living, you would not believe me."

Shichiroji turned his attention back to the two beasts grubbing away greedily at the manger. He changed the topic once more. "You must be a high-ranking samurai," the man remarked, "to be so skilled in equestrian archery."

The woman snorted. "Me? I am not, and had never been, a high-ranking samurai. Like you, I was belonged to the _kachi_ and my rank was Captain at the end of the war."

"You're a samurai of the Northlands, then?" Shichiroji asked. "I've heard that all the Northern samurai are skilled in mounted archery, regardless of rank."

"You guessed right that I'm from the North," Ayame replied. "And it is true that the low-ranking Northlander samurai are formidable equestrian archers surpassing the high-ranking samurai of other regions. This is largely because the northern warriors are part-time nomads who take turns grazing the flocks of their daimyos while not in military training or at war. They grew up on the backs of the fast turtles. But I am not one of them. I was not even born a samurai, nor did I regard myself as a samurai after I was released from the armed forces. I came from the akindo, and have returned to the akindo…"

"She wasn't born a samurai?" Shichiroji said to himself. "Come to think of it, that fact could be easily deduced from her manners…" But Shichiroji was not born a samurai either. His family were tanners – people of a tainted occupation belonging to the class of the outcastes.

His former foe continued. "…So I don't have the Northern samurai's skill in mounted archery. As you probably noticed just now, I missed about as many as I hit. "

"You are being too modest," Shichiroji said courteously.

"No, I'm not being modest," The double-sword fighter gave a bitter smile. After all these years, the memory of the misaimed arrow that cost an innocent life still pained her. Now it was Ayame's turn to change the topic.

"Say," The Hokuhei native asked her traveling companion. "Have you seen a real Northern cavalry samurai in action?"

"No," the blond shook his head. "Though I've heard that in the riding competitions of the North, your samurai can hold their balance while leaning sideways out of the saddle. And from that position, those samurai still manage to shoot speeding targets a hundred yards away. Few if any samurai outside of the Northlands can manage such a feat."

"What you've heard is true," Ayame said. "I have seen some of the riders of the Kuroyama Clan, famed tamers of wild land turtles. 'Proud children of Heaven', we used to call the Northlander cavalry in the old days. They probably deserved the name. I knew a particularly charismatic Kokuryu'an samurai who could charm wild fast turtles into following her will."

The barest hint of smile ghosted across the dark woman's face. For a moment, the flinty look in her topaz eyes was replaced by a light that Shichiroji could not decide was sad or merry. "Maybe that Northern samurai charmed more than just wild fast turtles," The man said to himself. Suddenly the former enemy soldier standing next to him seemed a little more human.

"Hey, shall we get lunch?" The blond asked. "I'll pay for our meal, since you paid for the turtles' feed."

Fortunately for the two travelers, the rest of the journey through Higashihara Prefecture was rather uneventful. On the fourth day after leaving Kougakyo, they crossed the border into Akashima State, the home province of Shimada Kanbei.

--

It was late afternoon in Akashima Province when a somewhat weary but still alert Kanbei approached the burnt ruins of Reiji Castle. The outer court's charred timber gate was still standing though the adjoining walls had crumbled. The ruins of Reiji looked the way they did when Kanbei last saw them 6 years ago, shortly after the fires of war gutted the Aokuma Clan's main castle. But the homecoming samurai saw something there that he did not expect – two fast turtles were sitting in the shadow of the sagging gate. Shimada sensed the _ki_ of yet another two living beings that he could not see. But since he did not detect any killing aura from those unseen presences, he decided to approach the gate cautiously.

The seasoned soldier came within 40 feet of the tall gateposts that stood like scarecrow-like sentinels to the sad remains of his daimyo's castle. Kanbei paused, scrutinizing the seemingly unaccompanied fast turtles resting beside the left gatepost. Just as he was wondering where the animals' owners were, pale Shichiroji emerged from behind the burnt timber pillar like a ghost, his thin purple jacket floating in the evening breeze.

"As careful as always, my friend," The blue-eyed man called out, grinning at Kanbei.

"Shichiroji! What are you doing here?" Shimada exclaimed as he strode forward quickly to meet his friend.

"I thought we could catch up to you on the highway since you were traveling on foot, but I didn't see any sign of you on the road so we came here directly." His former aide explained. "We've been waiting here for nearly a day."

"We?" The dark ronin asked, puzzled. Shichiroji glanced towards his left.

Kanbei followed the direction of his friend's eyes and noticed a seated figure resting against the flank of one of the fast turtles. The bulky body of the kneeling beast had previously shielded the dark-haired woman from Kanbei's view. Ayame raised her head and peered over the fast turtle's hump at the new arrival.

"This is Ayame-dono, Kyuuzou's Third Sister," Shichiroji introduced the svelte swordfighter. "We've all met before in Kougakyo."

Kanbei eyed the shorter warrior warily. "Good lady, what business brings you here?"

Ayame rose to her feet. "Eight days ago, I received a letter from my _senpai_ telling me that Kyuuzou had fallen into a strange sleep for four days and refuses to wake. Three days had passed between the time the letter was written and the time I received it. In the message, my _senpai _says Kyuuzou wastes away without eating or drinking. All that convinces us that his soul is still in his body is that he speaks the name 'Kanbei' even in his unconscious state. He would have been asleep for 15 days by now."

The white-clad ronin did not answer. Alarm and grief flared within him when he heard of Kyuuzou's failing health, but Shimada told himself it was pointless to be pulled back into caring for someone who did not want him to care. Kanbei masterfully calmed his swirling emotions. The tall man deliberately looked past Ayame, focusing on the crude graves that lay behind her in the shadows of Reiji Castle. Tall, coarse grass had already grown over those hundreds of earthen mounds. His earlier guess was right – the swords that marked the spots where his clan members lay had been removed. Stolen, or taken into safekeeping by survivors of the clan? He did not know.

Ayame's flashing yellow eyes perceived what appeared to be Kanbei's drifting attention. She frowned and raised her voice slightly at the tall samurai. "The fact that Kyuuzou calls your name and not the name of any other causes me to think that perhaps your presence will do him good."

Kanbei was still silent. His eyes were fixed on the distant graves of the Aokuma Clan samurai who fell during the Confederated Army assault. Could he locate his parents' graves among eight hundred heaps of earth? Shimada wondered if he still remembered the path Masao showed him, and realized that he did not. Sorrow washed over him like a numbing flood.

Ayame, seeing that Kanbei did not even bother to look at her as she was speaking, was by now more than a little irritated.

"For a supposedly 'kind' leader, he is rather indifferent towards Kyuuzou's condition, considering that my brother died to save him!" The double-sword fighter thought. "Not to mention that he does not honor my speech at all! This fellow is in all likelihood a high-ranking _kyunin_ snob who despises _kachi_ and commoners, and takes our respect and service for granted! He probably thinks I don't even have the right to talk to him. Or maybe he hates me because I fought for the other side!"

But the former Confederated Army captain suppressed her rising fury for the sake of Kyuuzou. "Kanbei-dono, please come with us and try to wake Kyuuzou," the usually haughty Ayame pleaded. "Or he will die without opening his eyes."

"I am not sure if I can help you," Kanbei finally spoke in a neutral voice without turning to look at Kyuuzou's _senpai_.

Ayame's previously pleading expression morphed into an angry scowl. "I do not know what transpired you and Kyuuzou! But clearly he is bonded to you in some way since he calls for you. Will you not go to see him, at least?"

"Maybe the one whom Kyuuzou needs is you." Kanbei answered in an unreadable voice.

The golden-eyed akindo woman did not comprehend the veiled meaning behind Kanbei's words. So she responded without irony. "Of course I plan to be at his side as soon as possible."

At that unwavering declaration from the beautiful swordfighter , the dark-haired samurai felt a stinging resentment. Up to now, Kanbei had hoped to leave the memory of Kyuuzou behind, but why was it that he could still feel jealousy on account of the young man? Over the past few weeks, the old ronin had repeatedly told himself it was pointless to love Kyuuzou or even to think of him, but now Shimada realized that he had not truly let Kyuuzou go.

Oblivious to Kanbei's feelings, Ayame continued. "After Kyuuzou died, his spirit called to me from the realm of the dead. That was how I guessed he died. Then I summoned his soul back."

"Why is she even here?" Shimada wondered at this woman who seemed to share a strange bond with Kyuuzou. "All she has to do is go to him, and he will awake." He finally voiced his doubts. "Ayame-dono, it seems you should not delay in going to Kyuuzou-dono."

Ayame broke into a smile, thinking that she had converted the ronin to her point of view. She turned and patted the fast turtle sitting next to her. The leathery beast promptly rose to its feet. "Of course, let us go!" The dreadlocked warrior addressed Kanbei.

"Us?" Kanbei asked. "I don't think Kyuuzou wants me near him! We did not part on good terms! And as you just said, your power is sufficient to bring him back to the world of the living."

"You don't understand, do you?" Kyuuzou's Third Sister finally lost her rather limited patience. "You do not have to spend much time with Kyuuzou to know that no one can truly force him to do something that he does not want to do! Kyuuzou only came back from the dead in response to my call because he WANTED to return. This time, he is not dead – yet. And I did not sense him calling me. Our _senpai_ who is now watching over him says he speaks your name. When my _kouhai_ was a lost soul in the sea of blood in the underworld, he was calling for someone to save him from his torment. I heard him call my name. It might be the 'natural' thing for Kyuuzou to do – I tried my best to protect him when he was young. But this time, I suspect he is not asking for a rescuer. He does not need me! He needs you! I do not know what passed between you two that caused you to decide that the life of a man who once died for you means nothing to you! But I know he is calling for you!"

"No, you are the one who does not understand!" Unspoken words came to Kanbei's mind in response to Ayame's tirade. "You clearly have no knowledge of what lies between me and him! In the Capital, Kyuuzou did not try to save me out of any affection; it was only so that he could kill me himself. And now, he is calling my name probably because he has decided he still wants to kill me."

But Kanbei kept his thoughts to himself.

"Well? Will you come with me or not?" Faced with the wall of Kanbei's unreadable, stony silence, Ayame raised her voice.

The sullen Kanbei continued to look right past Ayame at the silhouette of Reiji Castle's ruins down the road. Ayame's blazing yellow eyes narrowed as her angry gaze bore into the tall samurai. The svelte warrior took a wide step towards Kanbei, directly blocking his way to Reiji Castle.

Ayame's gesture was largely symbolic – the road was wide enough for Kanbei to walk past the shorter fighter if he so wished. But Shichiroji, standing by passively and watching this charged impasse, had a fair idea that Kanbei would not be able to walk away so easily should the double-sword wielder choose to make herself a nuisance.

"Somehow they remind me of flaming spirits confronting each other at the gates of the netherworld, one blocking the way of the other." The blond mused. "Though, in this case, I'm not sure which one is the demon gatekeeper and which one is the soul who seeks a path forward."

Shichiroji turned his eyes towards the distant horizon and saw that the sun was starting to fall below the hills. "Ah, so it is the fading light that has the strange effect of making those two look like scary apparitions," The idle observation came to the sloppily-dressed blond, "The red glow of the sun's dying rays makes an already angry Ayame appear more incensed, and an already haggard Kanbei look more worn and wild. I wonder what they would think if they could see themselves right now."

"Will you see Kyuuzou again or not, you heartless man?" Ayame was now shouting at Kanbei. Her fast turtle stomped its big feet, eager to run again.

Kanbei raised his eyes to the heavens and sighed. What could he do for Kyuuzou? He had already learnt the hard way that effort was not enough, that love was not enough. But maybe if he made his presence felt, Kyuuzou would awake this once just so that he could kill Shimada. Perhaps that was enough reason to go to him.

The former samurai aide, who had been unobtrusively quiet all this while, finally spoke. "Kanbei-sama, Reiji Castle isn't going anywhere. You can always come back later. But if you don't go to Kyuuzou now, you will be asking yourself 'How would events have turned out if I had gone to him?' for the rest of your life. If you go to him and the worst still happens, at least you will know for certain that you have done all that you can."

Shichiroji's gaze shifted to the graves in the shadow of the castle and back to Kanbei. The blond's lips turned up slightly in an odd, understanding smile tinged with sorrow. "Go to him, my friend," The pale man met his friend's dark brown eyes. "The time is now. The dead we will always have with us, but the living are like the flower that fades tomorrow."

Kanbei finally answered his friend's honest gaze. "I will gladly go with Ayame-dono, if only so that I can see Kyuuzou-dono again. Although I do not know if my presence will help him."

The woman with twin swords grinned gratefully at Shichiroji. "How about you two share a fast turtle?" She gestured the other beast sitting under the gate.

"Oh no," Shichiroji interjected. "Kanbei-sama can have that turtle all to himself. I think I'll stay here for a little longer and seek out the surviving members of our clan. I want to see how they are faring in this day and age."

The blond turned to Kanbei. "Perhaps I will still be here when you come back, but if I have to return to Kougakyo before that date, I'll try to leave word for you. At any rate, you two should not delay your journey any longer. Send Kyuuzou my best wishes when you see him."

Kanbei nodded. Then he quickly mounted the fast turtle.

Silhouetted against the setting sun , Shichiroji watched the two riders gallop into the east.

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

- Illustrated Chapters 14 and 15 are up on my site.

- The riding and archery skills of the Northland samurai are inspired by video footage of Tibetan, Mongolian and Kazakh riding competitions.

- the story of Ayame's misaimed arrow is found in Wolf Warriors chapter "The Way of Ashura"

- The charming northern samurai Ayame mentioned is Motofuji Mayumi of the Kuroyama Clan. She was originally conceptualized as a humor/parody character from another of my S7 ficverses (Beyond the Blade) but I will be reusing that character in Mandate of Heaven (which occurs in the Retribution universe).

- In the North of this ficverse, The Northland samurai were descended from nomadic herders, not from peasants like the samurai of other regions. (The bulk of 'real world' samurai were descended from the peasant class) This is why the northern warriors have a stronger tradition of mounted archery.


	32. Truce

Three and a half days after leaving Akashima Province,, Ayame and Kanbei had finally reached the trading town of Kawara at the foot of Mount Kei'an. They rode down the moderately busy main street of the town, picking up their pace the moment they set foot on the country road that would take them up the mountain.

Ayame's fast turtle fell into step next to Kanbei's mount. "We're almost there, Kanbei-dono." The dark-haired swordfighter pulled a shiny pink canister out of her canvas backpack. "But before we enter the dojo, you should use this!"

With a light flick of her wrist, Ayame cast the canister at Kanbei. Catching the flying cylinder in his quick fingers, Kanbei saw that the pink object was a spray can of deodorant.

Kanbei realized that the former enemy soldier's words were an order, not a suggestion.

How the former Colonel Shimada, commander of mighty mecha and brave men, hero of Kanna, managed to submit to such indignity, Kanbei did not know. But they say a man would do anything for love.

--

It was midday when Kazumi ran into the stone courtyard of Mount Kei'an Dojo, shouting, "Sensei! Senpai! There're two fast turtles approaching. I think the riders are Ayame-sama and someone else!"

Without delay, Tashiro Sensei and Yasue made their way outside to greet the visitors. Ayame was dashing up to the gate on a fast turtle. Following behind her on the narrow mountain path was another fast turtle ridden by a dark man of about Tashiro Sensei's age.

Ayame dismounted in one fluid motion, flying off the turtle to land lightly in front of Tashiro Haruko. "O-ni-sama!" The woman's yellow eyes glowed with joy at the sight of the tall sword master.

"Good to see you, imoto-chan!" The pale-skinned warrior smiled down at her _kouhai_ as she placed a large hand on Ayame's shoulder. Then Haruko looked towards the tall samurai who had just dismounted near the courtyard entrance. The long-haired visitor was at that moment facing away from them. He gave the reins of his fast turtle to the waiting Kazumi while graciously thanking her for attending to the beast.

As Kazumi and Yasue led the two fast turtles away to the stable, Kanbei turned towards the Sensei and stepped forward. Ayame made the introduction without delay. "Senpai, this is Kanbei, Kyuuzou's leader for the Kanna Project."

A brief look of surprise crossed Haruko's face when she looked at Kanbei full in the face. But Kanbei did not look at all surprised to see Haruko. "It is my honor to meet the Master of Mount Kei'an Dojo," the dark man said calmly as he bowed.

From what he had learnt earlier through the enchanted pool in Nakatsu, Shimada had already guessed that the _senpai _mentioned by Ayame was none other than Tashiro Haruko/Haruhiko, the samurai responsible for destroying his entire regiment, not in open battle but by sabotage. But his keen desire to see Kyuuzou again pushed whatever feelings he might hold towards coming face to face with this bitter enemy out of his mind – until now.

Shimada Kanbei's gut reaction at the sight of former Major Tashiro was strong revulsion, despite his polite exterior. The ex-commando officer represented those who had robbed Colonel Shimada of everything – honor, homeland, family and comrades. The fact that those who wreaked destruction did not do so out of malice - but rather out of a soldier's duty - did not lessen the bitterness and sorrow of those whose lives were destroyed.

Kanbei noticed that the tall, straight-haired swordfighter now wore her twin scabbards suspended from her belt, unlike the last time he saw her six years ago. Then, the enemy samurai carried both swords strapped to her back, a more practical arrangement for a commando who had to scale walls and crawl through narrow tunnels. Observing the former Confederated Army officer in her new role as dojo master, Colonel Shimada noted a little sourly that life seemed to have treated his nemesis more kindly than it did him.

"Perhaps nothing has truly changed since that day six years ago except the number of wrinkles on our faces," the same thought came to the mind of both former commanders. The two broad-shouldered warriors were now regarding each other in a manner that, while not overtly hostile, was not exactly friendly.

Ayame looked curiously from one tall samurai to the other. "Have they met before?" she wondered.

Under a clear blue sky, Shimada Kanbei and Tashiro Haruko - two former commanders, two former enemies – were eyeing each other through a blood red haze. It was as if they were in Irakawa Castle all over again.

Three thousand slain samurai stood between the warrior whom Kyuuzou called 'Big Brother' and the man who would have loved Kyuuzou. Yet perhaps one man could unite their wills, if only briefly.

For a moment, Kanbei wondered if he could take another step forward toward the dojo door and Tashiro Sensei without wishing he had his sword with him. He could almost hear the restless ghosts of his fallen subordinates from the Second Regiment howling to him from the netherworld.

Tashiro Sensei observed the newcomer with her cold obsidian eyes. So it was _that_ Kanbei after all. Talk about coincidences. Underneath an unperturbed exterior, she kept her senses tuned to the energy aura of this unexpected visitor, expecting a sudden surge in _sakki_ – killing aura. But while the _ki_ from Kanbei was not exactly benign, it did not have the quality of _sakki_ either.

"I regret the circumstances of our last meeting." Tashiro Haruko finally said. Both samurai knew that it was just a polite lie. The former Confederated Army Special Forces commander had no regrets about annihilating Kanbei's regiment, all three thousand lives.

"I come here in peace," The Allied Forces veteran replied. "I bear you no hate. It was your duty to take full advantage of your enemy's weakness."

"You were not weak, but luck was on my side," the former Major Tashiro gave the expected response of formulaic humility.

"No, it was not luck," the ex-Colonel Shimada thought, but he held his tongue. After a short pause, his one-time nemesis spoke.

"I was exceedingly glad when the war ended, if only so that we need not do such bloody deeds to so many again."

Kanbei had not been glad when the war was over. He was lost without battles to fight and foes to slay. There were times when the Allied Forces veteran wished for the past, when he was the commander of a regiment and master of the skies. But he had since realized that this was a selfish wish. Without war, fewer people of every class would die. Now Tashiro Haruko's words only made him feel shame that he ever desired war so that he could glory in his skill.

But the dark samurai was not the only one who felt shame. Looking at the defeated Allied Air Force commander, Haruko was once again reminded of how she bought that stunning victory over Kanbei with the cold-blooded murder of a defenseless prisoner-of-war. Of how she did 'evil' so that 'good' might come.

But the past had to be set aside for there were more pressing things in the present.

"I am here for Kyuuzou," Kanbei said. "My foremost concern is for his well being."

"Then we have at least one thing in common. Let me bring you to him." The broad-shouldered former samurai turned and headed back into Mount Kei'an Dojo. Without tarrying a moment, Kanbei and Ayame followed her though the wooden courtyard gate.

--

Tashiro Sensei slid open the door to Kyuuzou's room and Kanbei peered in cautiously. Kyuuzou was lying on the sleeping mat, motionless. The old ronin felt a stab of sorrow in his heart when he saw that the slender young man was hugging the toy bear he gave him fourteen years ago.

"I'll leave you for a while," Haruko said to their guest, "My disciples will bring you some refreshments shortly."

"Thank you, I am sorry to impose," Kanbei said politely.

"No, it is our honor," came the formulaic reply. As Tashiro Sensei turned and left, Kanbei stepped into the bedroom and knelt down beside the sleeping samurai. He brought his hand to Kyuuzou's forehead, gently brushing stray strands of blond hair out of the way. The younger samurai's forehead was still slightly warm. Kyuuzou was still alive. The old ronin felt relief wash over him.

At that moment Kanbei heard someone behind him clear her throat. He turned his head. Ayame was still standing at the door of Kyuuzou's room, her arms akimbo. The dark woman with near-black hair was eyeing Kanbei warily.

"Can you please… leave me alone with Kyuuzou?" The middle-aged samurai asked.

Ayame's topaz eyes narrowed. Her scowl deepened. "Do I even have to say it out loud to the obtuse man?" Kyuuzou's Third Sister wondered. "The answer is NO!!! WHY would you want to be left alone with him if your intentions are honorable?"

But firm footsteps came down the hallway. Haruko had returned. Stepping up behind the younger woman, the tall handsome warrior put a strong arm around Ayame's slim shoulders. "Come, dear sister," the Sensei said in an even voice. "You must be weary after your long journey. Shall we go to the kitchen and have something to eat together?"

Reluctantly, Ayame allowed Big Sister to steer her away, but not before she said to Kanbei in a threatening tone. "If you even have a single thought about Kyuuzou that does not pertain to your lot, I will personally kill you!"

Kanbei suspected that Ayame would have killed him – and killed him slowly - if she knew what kind of fantasies he had about the young man before.

Tashiro Sensei gave Shimada a semi-apologetic look, then she slid the door shut. The dark man turned his eyes back towards Kyuuzou as the women's departing footsteps echoed down the hall. Finally alone with his beloved enemy, he took the young man's right hand in both his own. There were thick scars where Kanbei's sword had gashed Kyuuzou's palm and fingers. Kanbei wondered if that hand would have the same sensitivity when it came to wielding a sword again. He gently rubbed those cold, slender fingers in his large, calloused palms. "Kyuuzou, please wake up!" Kanbei whispered. "I'm here now! Come back to me!"

Then the old warrior bowed his head and prayed as he held that cold hand to his cheek.

--

**Author's Comment:**

- For the Kanbei vs Haruko back story, see companion fic _Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor_.

- The way Kanbei and Haruko communicated, e.g. Haruko does not regret destroying Kanbei's regiment but she says, "I _regret_ the circumstances of our last meeting," and Kanbei is not sorry about imposing on Haruko's hospitality, yet he says, "I am sorry to impose," is not considered dishonest by some traditional East Asian/Southeast Asian communications standards. This is because both parties understand the true meaning behind what the other person is saying. These are codified responses, so for those who understand the code, they are not misleading.


	33. The Sands of Time

**Notes:**

- Haruko's native dialect, Nankai'an, which Ayame also speaks, is very close to the Common Tongue of the Empire. This is why Ayame chooses temporarily to speak to Haruko in another language - the speech of the Northern province of Juushuu (which she wrongly assumed Kanbei could not understand). Ayame's father is of Juushuu'an descent but their family had been living in Hokuhei City for a few generations, so Ayame's first language is actually Kokuryu'an. Her second language is the Common Tongue (Ayame spent many years in Mount Kei'an Dojo in Nankai Prefecture; Nankai'an speech is a regional variation of the Common Tongue) Her third and fourth languages are Akashiman (her mother's ethnicity, as well as Kanbei's ethnicity) and Juushuu'an. Haruko learnt a little Juushuu'an because she had to travel to Juushuu on covert missions in her youth, but she can understand much more of it than she can speak.

- Kanbei and his enemy Haruko first crossed paths in Juushuu Province when they were 27 years old. (They're now 41).

* * *

An afternoon passed in Mount Kei'an Dojo. The sleeping Kyuuzou remained silent and unmoving, oblivious to the white-clad watcher sitting next to him. When evening descended, Yasue and Ayame came by Kyuuzou's room. Ayame was holding a bowl of rice soup in her hand. 

"Did Kyuuzou show any signs of consciousness?" The dreadlocked former samurai asked the tall ronin as the two women knelt down beside the sleeping Kyuuzou.

"I called his name, but he did not respond." Kanbei admitted.

A look of disappointment crossed Ayame's face, then she stated in a businesslike tone. "It is time for us to feed him."

The old ronin obligingly moved aside as Yasue propped Kyuuzou up. Ayame forced her _kouhai_'s mouth open and poured the rice soup down his throat. Sitting by and watching Kyuuzou's senior and junior manhandle the skinny young blond, Kanbei finally asked, "Can I be the one to care for him from now on?"

Ayame's flashing golden eyes shot him a glare that seemed to say, "And just what do you mean by that?! Is our care not good enough for him?!! Think you can do better?!!!"

Observing that her _senpai_'s volatile temper was starting to simmer, Yasue intervened cautiously. "Kanbei-dono, why don't you make make that suggestion to Sensei over dinner? Now that Kyuuzou _senpai_ has been fed, it is time for the rest of us eat. Come with us to the dining room. Kazumi is setting the tables even as we speak."

With some reluctance Kanbei left Kyuuzou's bedside and followed the two double-sword fighters downstairs.

--

Haruko was already seated at the low center table in the dojo's dining area when Kanbei and Yasue entered. Ayame took her seat at the small wooden table on the Sensei's right while Yasue joined the young disciple Kazumi at a family-sized dining table nearby.

"Please take a seat," The master of Mount Kei'an Dojo addressed Kanbei, gesturing towards the low table on her left. Kanbei suspected that under normal circumstances, the Mount Kei'an people would eat together at the family table, but he was not complaining about the current arrangement. In a way, he was glad that he did not have to eat at the same table with the samurai who annihilated his regiment.

"Did Kyuuzou show any signs of consciousness while you were with him?" Tashiro Sensei asked Shimada when he had taken his seat.

"He does not stir from his sleep," the long-haired man said sadly.

At this, Ayame turned to Haruko, addressing her _senpai _in the language of the northern province of Juushuu. "This man has proven himself to be absolutely useless! Don't tell me I went through all that trouble of bringing him here for nothing!"

Kanbei's unchanged expression hid his irritation at the woman's discourtesy. It was obvious to the old soldier that Ayame had assumed that he did not comprehend Juushuu'an. Kanbei had once been stationed in Juushuu State during the Great War and understood a little of the Juushuu'an tongue. Most high-ranking commanders would not have bothered to learn the native languages of the regions they fought their battles in. Young Kanbei, however, was a different sort of samurai. He made it a point to visit the peasants of Juushuu and even had one of the military interpreters instruct him in basic Juushuu'an. Some of his aides told him that learning the local language was a waste of time – many natives of Juushuu could speak the Common Tongue. Commander Shimada had disagreed then – the peasants were cunning and sometimes they pretended they could not understand the Common Tongue if they did not feel like cooperating with Allied Forces samurai from out-of-state. On a different note, what better way was there to break the ice with the locals than by speaking their language? Yet sometimes the commander thought that perhaps his aides had been right – every time he had occasion to speak with Juushuu'an peasants, they had in fact conversed in the Common Tongue.

Shimada never thought that his Juushuu'an language lessons would come in handy. Until now. Kanbei could understand part of what Ayame just said, enough to know it wasn't flattering to him. But he kept his eyes ahead, not looking directly at either of Kyuuzou's seniors.

Tashiro Sensei apparently did not share Ayame's assumption about Kanbei's linguistic deficiency. "Peace, my sister," The tall warrior answered her _kouhai_ in the Common Tongue while eyeing their guest warily. "It has not been a day since Kanbei-dono arrived. Perhaps there is hope yet."

"I do not wish to be a burden to you," Kanbei spoke in a polite tone to Kyuuzou's two _senpai_. "If I may so request, I would like to make myself useful by caring for Kyuuzou's daily needs from now on."

"Very well," Haruko said. "You can feed and bathe him henceforth, until he wakes."

"WHAT?!!!" Ayame mouthed the word soundlessly, but her contorted expression more than made up for her silence. It was quite clear that Third Sister strongly opposed the idea.

But Big Sister did not seem to pay the younger woman any heed. The sword teacher gestured at the compartmentalized meal trays set before them. "Please, let us eat before the food grows cold."

--

As soon as he had finished his meal, Kanbei returned to Kyuuzou's room, resuming his vigil next to the sleeping blond. He passed the moments listening to the nearly inaudible sound of Kyuuzou's shallow breathing.

Twilight turned into night. Kyuuzou still showed no sign of stirring. Kanbei laid himself down next to the sleeper, wrapping his arms around Kyuuzou to give that thin body a little more warmth. But the old ronin who embraced the sleeper did not slumber. The dark-eyed man spent the night gazing at that still, pale face under the moonlight.

"I will hold him until his body dies and his spirit fades, if that is all I can do." The dark samurai thought resignedly, "This may be the only time that Kyuuzou would allow me to embrace him like this." Yet the white-clad warrior did not stop whispering the young man's name, hoping to call him back to the waking world.

Thus the old soldier spent another day, and yet another, holding the pale samurai in a desperate embrace.

--

A small, thin boy sat alone in the Sands of Time, on the shore of the Sea of Shadow. The dark gray sea ahead reminded Kyuuzou of the ocean at the south end of Nankai Prefecture. A long time ago, Mizuho and Ayame had taken him to a beach there. It was their last trip together before his two _senpai_ left the dojo to join Haruko's platoon.

There was nothing to do at Shounan Beach except watch the waves and look at the strange shapes of the wind-swept beach pines, blown and bent by the vagaries of coastal weather year in and year out. Yet there was one constant amidst the seasons. The water was always cold. Few people swam in the Southern Ocean for pleasure. The sea also held danger for those on the shore. Big waves sometimes swallowed the carcasses of fallen beach pines, sweeping them out to sea and suddenly casting the great logs back onto shore when least expected, putting the lives of fisherfolk and beachgoers in danger.

But for the quiet Kyuuzou, the unwelcoming south seas held their own charm. All those years ago, his fourteen-year-old self had felt a strange thrill when he dipped his bare feet into the bitingly cold waters of a crystal clear stream cutting through the sand to meet the open sea. Kyuuzou liked visiting the edge of the Southern Ocean, even though he could not swim and build sandcastles there the way people did on the shores of the warm, turquoise Northern Ocean that he had heard of but never seen. The violent grandeur of Nankai's crashing waves and the cold melancholy of the sea winds struck a chord with that young, hollow soul who thought of himself as a man who shed no tears and who needed no love.

Now Kyuuzou was facing a strange sea like the one he visited in his boyhood. But this sea was darker and more forbidding than the sea at Shounan. He could not see the horizon beyond the dark waves – somehow sea and sky seemed to merge into shadow in the distance. Kyuuzou stared and stared, trying to discern where the sky started and the sea ended. There was nothing else for him to do. Nothing else he could think of doing.

For a very long time the slender blond child sat in the sand. He might have sat there forever if left undisturbed. But a figure appeared in the distant mist behind him, striding towards the edge of the sea. It was a broad-shouldered young man with dark wavy hair. This striking figure with the stature of a warrior came to a halt next to the child. He too sat down in the sand.

For a long time, the odd pair sat side by side without saying a word, listening to the gusty sea wind whip their garments about.

It was the dark-eyed samurai who broke the silence. "Kyuuzou," the tall young man said, "come, let us go home."

The boy did not look at the warrior. He quietly ran his fingers through the fine gray sand.

Finally the child answered softly. "Home? I don't have a home. You destroyed it, remember?"

But he said those words in a voice without rancor, without anger, and indeed, without life.

"Yes, I remember," the dark man took a deep breath. "But will you come home with me?"

The pale child's dull red eyes continued to stare at the crashing waves before him. "Go home with you? Where to? To your home?"

"I don't have a home." The handsome young samurai answered in turn. "You and your comrades destroyed it, remember?"

But he spoke those words in a voice without bitterness, without hate and without blame.

The small boy replied. "Yes, I remember… everything, even the things I tried to forget."

"I cannot wipe away your memories," The tall man said earnestly as he gazed down at the small figure sitting cross-legged beside him. "But we can make new memories! Beautiful ones! Come with me! I will make a new home for you. No, we will make a new home together!"

The thin pale boy sat motionless in the Sands of Time, his unblinking ruby eyes still fixed on the dark waters in front of him. Then the child suddenly spoke in an unreadable voice. "Did you know that I used to dream about you? … They were bad dreams."

"No, I did not know." The man responded slowly. "But we can make new dreams, good ones."

The tall warrior held out his hand to the child in a silent plea as the sun, the moon and the stars slowly continued in their set paths in the heavens above. The thin boy sat staring ahead, and the young man beside him offered his hand still. For a long, long time, they sat together, until at long last, the boy turned to face his companion.

"I do not need your pity." The tow-headed child stated firmly with cold pride. But his stiff upper lip trembled just a little.

"It is not pity that brings me here and keeps me here," came the dark samurai's reply.

Cold crimson eyes met warm brown eyes, and two souls looked into each other's depths for the first time.

"I _need_ your forgiveness!" The tall man pleaded, holding the child's gaze. "But I know it is a privilege to be granted, not a right to be demanded."

Kanbei closed his eyes as if to prevent his tears from forming. Kyuuzou's thin frame quivered momentarily.

"Do you regret that you ever loved me?" The young boy finally asked in an almost plaintive whisper.

"No," Kanbei answered plainly. "I have never stopped loving you."

--

The first thing Kyuuzou saw when he opened his eyes in the morning was Kanbei's worried face next to him. "Why is this man lying so close to me?" The silent samurai wondered as he shifted slightly on the thin sleeping pad. He could feel the warmth of the other man's body enveloping him. But Kyuuzou did not pull away from the dark samurai's embrace.

"Thank Heaven you're awake!" The dark ronin's lips quivered. "I am here for you to dispose of as you wish! Kill me if it pleases you! But I will not leave you again unless you tell me to go!"

All the other samurai said in response to the older man's impassioned declaration was, "You reek of cheap deodorant. That smell alone is enough to wake the dead."

"I am so sorry," the old soldier said with an embarrassed expression as he sat up and drew back. "Maybe I should have taken a bath, but I did not want to delay my journey here…"

It was the younger man who closed the distance, slowly raising his hand to the other samurai's face. Kyuuzou's scarred fingers wiped away the tear that, unbeknownst to Kanbei, was running down his cheek. When those slim fingers trailed their way from cheekbone to chin, the dark man seized the pale hand tightly with both his hands, as if he was afraid that it would be snatched from him once more. Kanbei pressed that scarred palm to his lips as he closed his eyes and took a deep, ragged breath.

"Can I have my hand back now?" Kyuuzou finally asked after a few seconds of silence. A vague look of hurt crossed Kanbei's face but the older samurai complied immediately with Kyuuzou's wishes. The crimson-eyed swordfighter slowly sat up. Then, without warning, he flung his slender arms around the man sitting beside him, brushing his lips against Kanbei's ever so lightly.

A brief look of astonishment flitted across Kanbei's face as he saw an almost imperceptible smile pass Kyuuzou's impassive features.

"Do you not want to kill me?" Kanbei asked cautiously.

The blond shook his head slowly. "No," he said quietly. "I forgive you."

The next moment, the tall ronin was returning Kyuuzou's chaste kiss with overpowering passion. The broad-shouldered warrior wrapped his strong arms around Kyuuzou. The young blond closed his eyes, allowing himself to be lost in the older man's heated embrace as his slender fingers tangled in Kanbei's long wavy hair.

Finally, Kyuuzou broke off the kiss so he could catch his breath. The young man opened his eyes and looked into Kanbei's dark eyes. It was at that moment Kyuuzou realized he was looking at a world of color for the first time in sixteen years. He saw that Kanbei's eyes were dark brown, nearly black. His hair was dark brown too, with strands of gray in them. Kyuuzou saw for the first time the ceiling of his room was blue. And he noticed that the morning sun cast a warm orange glow on the white walls.

The beauty of the morning light was moving, but not nearly as moving as the look of love in the dark man's eyes.

Then the silent samurai knew his world was red no more.

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

_- "Did you know I used to dream about you? They were bad dreams."  
_The backstory to this line spoken by Kyuuzou is told in the "Twisted Destinies" chapter of companion fic Unforgiven.

- The backstory of Kyuuzou's 'crimson vision' is in the "Crimson Blindness" chapter of companion fic Unforgiven.

- The image of Kyuuzou getting lost in his dreams and finally sitting down in the Sands of Time of the Sea of Shadow was inspired by songs/text from two anime:  
- Samurai 7's own opening theme Unlimited: "Lost in the sands of time, I had given up, until I met you…"

- One version of Twelve Kingdom's ending theme Getsumei Fuuei also uses the expressions "sands of time", and "lost in a false dream… "

- "Sea of Shadow" was also used as part of the title in one of the Twelve Kingdom chapters.

- The idea of Ayame (and even Haruko) knowing multiple regional languages is inspired by friends and associates from India and Africa. For example, an Indian acquaintance who is of Sindhi origin but born and raised in Tamil Nadu is able to speak his home language Sindhi, the state language of Tamil (belonging to a different linguistic family from either Hindi or Sindhi) and the most common national language Hindi, not to mention English. Similarly, a West Central African friend could speak the language of his ethnic group, the language of the dominant neighboring ethnic group (which is as different from his mother tongue as say, Italian is from Spanish), as well as the colonial languages French and English. So people who can speak multiple languages are actually quite common in some parts of the world.


	34. The Road Ahead

**Acknowledgments:**

This chapter is for Sin. The maple tree scene is inspired by Sin's gift art of Kyuzo. The illustrated version of this chapter will be released on my site sometime in the upcoming weeks. Check my profile page for updates on illustrated chapters.

**Vocab:**

_bushi_ – member of military class, warrior. _shi_ denotes an individual of elevated social status. (But not quite at the level of 'noble'. Most samurai, even some daimyos, were not considered nobles. It was only after the Imperial Restoration that all the daimyos entered the ranks of the nobles. Source: wikipedia)

_bujin _– person(s) who practice(s) the arts of war. Not necessarily a member of the military class.

_akindo – _member(s) of merchant class

**Note:**

- for the context of Kanbei and Haruko's conversation with regards to "learning from the best", see pre-series companion fic "Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor." At this point, Kyuuzou does not even know of Haruko's mission against Kanbei's castle during the Great War because the operation was classified information. Ayame knew of the mission only because Haruko was charged in military court with a crime connected with the operation and the court clerk Sawa leaked the news through the "female samurai gossip grapevine." But neither Kyuuzou nor Ayame knows that Kanbei and Haruko had faced each other during the Great War.

* * *

Mount Kei'an Dojo rejoiced that "Fourth Sister" had returned to consciousness. Ayame had been the first to rush into Kyuuzou's room at the news. The svelte swordfighter elbowed Kanbei aside, much to the annoyance of the old ronin. The akindo woman pinched the embarrassed Kyuuzou's pale cheeks, shrieking, "I'm so glad you're back!!! I thought we lost you this time!" 

Yasue and Kazumi decided to celebrate their senpai's awakening by cooking up roasted chestnuts, mashed taro dessert and a load of other dishes. Kanbei was glad when the fussing Ayame finally left Kyuuzou's side to go to the kitchen and help the young maidens with the cooking. Then Tashiro Sensei invited Kyuuzou and Kanbei to the living room for some tea, listening courteously as Kanbei politely retold the seven samurai's adventures in Kanna Village.

"That was a brilliant strategy." Tashiro Haruko remarked in a blandly polite tone when Kanbei related the account of how the Kanna defense team had infiltrated the Nobuseri base by hiding four samurai in rice bags and hitching a ride in a Raiden's cargo compartment.

Kanbei gave his former foe a bitter smile. "I can hardly take credit for the idea. After all, I had the 'fortune' of learning it from the best of the Confederated Army all those years ago."

Haruko suspected that the subtitles under Kanbei's speech actually read "After all, I had the MISfortune of being similarly deceived by the dirtiest lowdown #$ rat bastard of the Confederated Army - that pathetic excuse for a samurai who consorts with underhanded, dishonorable ninjas!"

The Special Forces veteran could only respond to the ex-Colonel's backhanded 'compliment' with an equally bitter smirk.

Kyuuzou's keen eyes shifted uncomprehendingly from one tall warrior to the other. He had gathered by now that Haruko and Kanbei did not exactly enjoy each other's company, but he did not quite know why. Observing that the light in Kanbei's eyes had turned cold and flinty, Kyuuzou gave the dark man a questioning look. When the old ronin caught his glance and turned towards him, the gaze in Shimada's dark eyes became warm and gentle once more. Kyuuzou felt strangely relieved.

At this moment, the living room door slid open and Ayame popped her head in. The dark woman said excitedly to Haruko, "Tashiro senpai, you should tell Kanbei of how our all-ladies team kicked Nobuseri butt in Kaneda Village two years before Kanna!" Then the golden-eyed woman headed back to the kitchen again.

"So, she was eavesdropping," Kanbei thought with a degree of irritation. The polite, cautious conversation between the two former enemies continued after Ayame left. Kyuuzou made no attempt to participate in the dialog despite both Kanbei and Haruko's attempts to direct the conversation to him once in a while.

Moments later, the screen door opened once more, letting in the aroma of roasting chestnuts from the kitchen, and Third Sister. "Hey, Kanbei," the yellow-eyed woman stuck her head into the living room, "Since you don't have any urgent tasks to occupy you right now, shouldn't you make it a priority to take a bath? How many days has it been since your last bath? That deodorant doesn't take care of the root problem, you know. And while you're at it, wash your clothes! With HOT water. Just ask one of us and we'll boil some water for you!"

After the blunt announcement, Ayame left just as abruptly as she arrived. Shimada gave a small smile of forced politeness as Tashiro Sensei hid a sarcastic smirk beneath her neutral expression. How she loved Third Sister, who said what needed to be said without apology.

Kyuuzou kept a cool face, having avoided making eye contact with either Ayame or Kanbei.

"It seems that this Ayame woman must pop in every few minutes or so, just to look at Kyuuzou." Kanbei observed silently. Even though the dark ronin noticed by now that Ayame did not appear to be Kyuuzou's lover, he still felt vaguely threatened by her presence. In Kanbei's perception, the 29-year-old beauty had a strong affection for the younger samurai, and on his part, Kyuuzou held a fierce loyalty towards his senpai.

Before long, the meal was ready, and a humble feast was laid before Kyuuzou and Kanbei. Kazumi, Yasue and Ayame bustled around them, pouring tea, serving soup and ladling heaps of rice into their bowls. Kyuuzou felt oddly out of place in the midst of this excitement. Never before did the dojo have such a celebration. And it was all because of him???

"Do so many people care about me?" The silent samurai wondered as he inhaled the aroma of hearty home cooking from three different states. Somehow his mind could not quite get used to the idea of being the center of attention. And to be loved by someone who did not want to part from his company – all this was strange to the quiet loner, although he was not averse to it if that someone was Kanbei.

Where would they go from this point on?

He did not know. All Kyuuzou knew was that it felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his soul at the moment he forgave Kanbei for the past. The old depression and simmering anger that lingered like shadows at the back of his mind had fled in the light of this new thing called love. The crimson warrior had no words to describe what he felt – was it gladness? He did not know, for he did not think he had truly been glad before.

--

_Two days later…_

Under the maple tree on the west side of the Mount Kei'an Dojo compound, Kanbei sat by silently as Kyuuzou and Ayame put the finishing touches on a small granite gravestone. The tombstone read, "Kyuujiro, a good cat, beloved friend and true companion, Genna 1 – Genna 15."

Earlier, Kanbei had watched as Kyuuzou and Ayame worked shoulder to shoulder, painstakingly carving the grave marker. The sight of that woman annoyed Shimada, despite his rational mind telling him there was no reason to be annoyed. The old soldier would not mind helping with the task, but he decided to quietly observe the working duo instead. Kyuuzou would look up from his work to throw Kanbei the vaguest hint of a smile every now and then, but Kanbei knew he was the outsider here. Kyuuzou was paying his respects to a past that Kanbei did not know, a past the silent samurai shared with Ayame.

The old soldier had a few glimpses of that past over the past couple of days. Shortly after Kyuuzou came back to the waking world, the young man and Ayame went to pay their respects at yet another tomb behind the dojo. Kanbei had followed them to the small wooden shrine housing a simple altar. It turned out to be the symbolic grave of a soldier – no human remains lay within. Kanbei noticed a large cedar chest lying beneath the altar table. But he did not know that it housed a few pieces of scrap metal. A long yew bow stood in a stand on the altar, together with twin swords in dark green scabbards.

"This is our shrine to 'Yoyuki'," Kyuuzou explained quietly. Then he bowed his head and lit a stick of incense before the altar.

"Yoyuki?" Kanbei asked in surprise. Yoyuki, shogun of divine archery, was a popular subject of paintings in samurai households. But no image of the ancient archer adorned this shrine.

"'Yoyuki' is the nickname Kyuuzou and I gave to our Second Sister," Ayame answered. "But we only used it behind her back. She would never have accepted such an appellation, being as humble and as modest as she was."

Kyuuzou was still standing before the altar in silent contemplation. The dark-haired woman beside him lit a stick of incense and placed it in the incense holder. Ayame bowed before the twin swords Kibo and Maboroshi. As the war veteran raised her head, she glimpsed Kanbei's quizzical expression out of the corner of her eye. The long-haired samurai was staring at the wooden spirit plaque in front of the bow with a slightly perplexed frown. The calligraphy on the plaque read "Mizuho of Mizuta Village, Keicho 1 – Genna 8"

The _akindo_ woman addressed Kanbei. "You might think it strange for us to give such a lofty name to a woman of peasant birth. But she deserved it. I had seen my honorable sister shoot down two eagles with a single arrow when they were attacking the peasants' chickens."

Kyuuzou continued Ayame's speech. "Yes, like us, our _senpai_ was lowborn." The scarlet samurai stated in a matter-of-fact voice. " 'Yoyuki' had no beauty of face and claimed no noble lineage. But she was kind to me, and indeed to all who were weak. Second Sister never thought herself higher than others, not even during the years she wore the label of 'samurai' and performed deeds of skill and valor in the war. Mizuho ne-sama never sought her own fame and glory. She only fought so that peace may come. Perhaps this is why we think her worthier than twenty daimyo's daughters, even if they be fairer than the sun."

Kanbei was vaguely surprised at Kyuuzou's unexpected eloquence, which seemed even stranger when combined with his dispassionate tone. "There is so much about Kyuuzou that I still don't know," the war veteran mused. He hoped to see more deeply into the young man's soul in the years to come.

But at that moment, the tall ronin said graciously, "I would offer my respects to your honored _senpai_, if it is not too presumptuous for me to do so."

Kyuuzou stepped aside with a barely perceptible nod. The blond man and Ayame watched silently as Kanbei lit another stick of incense before Mizuho's altar and bowed in respect.

The idea of nicknaming a woman 'Yoyuki' did not offend the former commander. The thought of someone born a peasant surpassing most _bushi_ as a _bujin_ did not threaten the ego of the dark samurai. What bothered him was how Kyuuzou and Ayame 'naturally' continued each other's speeches. He cringed inwardly every time they self-referenced as 'we' and 'us'. The tall ronin knew his jealousy was unreasonable. "But how can new love not doubt?" he asked himself as he recalled this scene from the day before. Now, Shimada observed the thin man and the beautiful woman setting the tombstone in place before the cat's grave. Their movements seemed to complement each other.

When the two former students of Mount Kei'an Dojo had completed their task, Ayame walked over to the nearby maple tree and swung herself up into it. She found her place on a large branch and gave a sigh of accomplishment. Kyuuzou followed her up, climbing into the tree as nimbly as a cat. To the dark man's relief, the red samurai did not sit next to Ayame. The silent samurai picked a branch on the other side of the trunk. He glanced down at Kanbei from his elevated seat.

The tall ronin would not mind climbing up the tree to join his not-quite-lover, but the maple tree might not bear the weight of all three of them. Both Kyuuzou and Ayame were considerably lighter than Kanbei.

Kyuuzou was now gazing at the distant horizon with an unreadable look in his ruby eyes.

Perceiving that Kanbei might be feeling a little left out, Ayame explained, "Kyuuzou, Kyuujiro and I used to sit in this tree when we were youngsters."

"I see," Kanbei said in a neutral voice as he looked up at the two slender double-sword fighters sitting in the red tree.

"So, where are you two going next?" The dark woman asked the two men. The silent samurai remained silent. He cast an almost soft look at Kanbei who answered. "I wish to journey to my home province of Akashima, where you last found me. I hope to lend my strength to rebuilding the infrastructure destroyed by the fighting, as well as pay my respects to the members of my clan who fell during the Great War. Kyuuzou has kindly agreed to accompany me on my travels."

"You're not taking him from us for good, are you?" The topaz-eyed woman grinned down at Kanbei almost threateningly.

"Eeto…" Kanbei did not know what answer to give as he glanced upwards at the dreadlocked swordfighter. Was that _akindo_ woman jesting? What was she getting at?

Ayame smirked as she jumped off the branch and landed lightly on the ground next to Kanbei. The svelte swordfighter addressed the ronin. "Can I talk to you in private for a moment?"

"Well… sure," Kanbei replied cautiously.

"Come with me," Third Sister said as she marched off, her firm footsteps crunching through the fallen maple leaves. The tall man got to his feet. He raised his head to look at the red samurai sitting in the red tree. "I'll be back soon," he said gently.

Kyuuzou responded with a quiet smile that made Kanbei's smile broaden into a grin. The dark ronin gave his slender companion one last longing look before turning to follow after the dark-haired woman.

From his perch on the tree branch, Kyuuzou eyed the two departing figures curiously. What was it that Third Sister wanted to tell Kanbei?

--

Ayame led Kanbei towards the vegetable garden behind the dojo. She came to a halt next to the peach tree. Then she turned around to look Kanbei in the eye.

"You're making me jealous, you know?" Kyuuzou's senpai stated bluntly.

Kanbei raised his eyebrows. This woman was making him nervous. He disliked the ambiguity of Kyuuzou's relationship with Ayame – almost antagonistic, and yet oddly close; it was a strange 'affection' that was not conditional on 'attraction', a devotion that was perhaps even stronger than the bond of lovers, or so Kanbei thought. The idea irked Shimada. He could not decide how to view this strange 'rival', if the petite beauty could even be called a 'rival' at all.

As if reading his thoughts, the woman standing in the shade of the peach tree smirked. Then she explained. "All these years, I thought I had seen every expression on Kyuu-chan's face – not that there were that many to start with – but it seems that I was wrong. The expression on his face when he looks at you is one that I've never seen before."

Kanbei remained quiet. Ayame's face took on a more solemn look. "In times past, I have worked so hard to coax a smile out of that child, and rarely did I succeed. But you - all you have to do is be here, and he smiles for you."

The old soldier considered this revelation.

"Just what does he see in you, I wonder." Kyuuzou's Third Sister now put on a look of wide-eyed surprise.

As Kanbei raised his eyebrows at this individual's unbelievable rudeness, Ayame laughed. "I was just joking, Kanbei. But as to what I'm going to say next, it won't be a joke."

The tall samurai eyed the shorter swordfighter warily. A slight wind was blowing; the shadows cast by the swaying branches of the peach tree danced rather erratically across Ayame's face, making it difficult for Kanbei to read her expression.

"Kyuuzou has opened to you a part of his heart that he has never opened to anyone." An unsmiling Ayame looked Kanbei right in the eye. "If you ever trample on what he has given you, you'll not only have to answer to my swords, but to the blades of all the people of Mount Kei'an Dojo, do you understand?"

"You have no cause for concern," Kanbei replied in a calm voice, observing the almost murderous light in the woman's yellow eyes. "I will try my best to make Kyuuzou happy."

Ayame tilted her chin up, crossing her arms as she leaned back against the rough bark of the tree. She shot Kanbei a piercing glance. "And by the way," the woman added. "Don't try to 'Kyuu-chan' him. That's the exclusive prerogative of myself and my sisters. He'll pulverize anyone else who tries to call him that. Even you."

"It is as you say," Kanbei responded coolly with forced politeness.

"I'm going to write you a letter before you leave," came Third Sister's odd reply.

With that, Ayame strode off in the direction of the house, making her way through the leafy green rows of vegetables traversing the dojo garden. A puzzled Kanbei stared after her. If Kyuuzou's Third Sister had something to tell him, couldn't she say it now instead of writing it in a letter? Ayame did not seem to be one to restrain her speech.

--

Ayame, Kyuuzou, and Kanbei left Mount Kei'an Dojo the next day, bidding farewell to Tashiro Sensei and her students. Tashiro Haruko invited the departing visitors to return to Mount Kei'an at summer solstice the next year. Kanbei knew that Haruko had extended the invitation to him only out of courtesy and out of respect for Kyuuzou. On his part, Kanbei graciously accepted his former enemy's invitation for the sake of politeness and for the love of the crimson samurai.

The odd trio comprising of a tall dark man, a slight blond and an even shorter dreadlocked woman headed down the mountain path together. At the foot of Mount Kei'an, their paths diverged. Ayame would now travel north to her home city of Hokuhei while Kanbei and Kyuuzou would go west to Kanbei's home province of Akashima.

As Kyuuzou bade Third Sister farewell, she addressed him kindly, "Take care of yourself. We'll meet back here at Mount Kei'an next summer solstice, as we agreed with Big Sister. In the meantime, you can write to me, you know."

Ayame smirked. Kyuuzou bowed, keeping his passionless expression.

The dark-haired woman turned to Kanbei. "I have a letter for you," she said as she removed a sealed envelope from her pocket and handed it to the dark man. "Don't open it until you reach Kawara Town at the foot of Mount Kei'an next year."

Kanbei raised his eyebrows at the strange instructions. But he responded politely as he placed the yellow paper envelop in his inner pocket, "It will be done as you asked."

"And no peeping at the letter," Ayame wagged her finger at Kyuuzou. "It's for Kanbei's eyes only." Then the woman leaped onto her fast turtle.

Kyuuzou stood gazing after the dust clouds left behind by Third Sister's mount galloping down the north road. After a few moments he turned to Kanbei. The dark man had mounted his fast turtle. Kanbei extended his hand to the slender samurai. Although the younger warrior needed no help with getting on the beast, he accepted Kanbei's offered hand and seated himself in front of the broad-shouldered samurai.

"You can hold the reins," the tall samurai whispered in Kyuuzou's ear as he wrapped a strong arm around that slender waist, The fair-haired swordsman allowed himself a faint smile as he took the reins from Kanbei.

The fast turtle trotted into the west. The wind blew against Kyuuzou's pale face, but the slender fighter felt only the assuring warmth of the broad-shouldered man sitting close behind him. He could not remember the last time he had been this close to happiness. This was the first time Kyuuzou felt something akin to, for lack of a better description, a sense of belonging.

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

"shooting two condors with a single arrow" is a Chinese saying equivalent to "killing two birds with one stone."

Yoyuki (Japanese pronunciation) was a legendary Chinese warrior whom the samurai liked to depict in archery-themed art. He was nicknamed "shogun of divine archery." Yoyuki was said to have shot down a bird flying above the clouds, guided only by the sound of the bird. (Source: Secrets of the Samurai)

For the Kyuuzou-Kyuujiro-Ayame story, see companion fic _The Ghosts of Chrysanthemum Bridge_.

As to the origins of the scrap metal which lay in the wooden chest under the altar, see Chapter 2 of companion fic _Happy Endings_.

Just one more chapter to go ;-)


	35. Full Circle

**Note:**  
See "Crimson Blindness" chapter of companion fic Unforgiven for the story behind the significance of this moment for Kyuuzou.

* * *

_The day before Summer Solstice, Genna 15_

Yasue and Kazumi were in a festive mood. Sensei had declared the next day a holiday. It was last year when Ayame _senpai_ and Kyuuzou _senpai _agreed to return to visit Mount Kei'an Dojo on Summer Solstice. But due to the vagaries of travel conditions, their arrival might be a little late – or a little early. Ayame's timing would be more predictable since the transportation routes between Hokuhei and Nankai were tolerably well-maintained. But for Kyuuzou and Kanbei who were coming from the western state of Akashima, the roads would be more rough.

At any rate, the two students of Mount Kei'an Dojo had already prepared Kyuuzou's old bedchamber for the arrival of the visitors, clearing out the junk that they stored there during the rest of the year. Since Ayame and Mizuho's old room was now the room of Kazumi and Yasue, their female _senpai _would stay in Haruko's old room, which the tall warrior occupied before she became Sensei and moved into the instructor's quarters.

The dojo pantry had been reasonably well-stocked with food that the two disciples harvested from the vegetable garden, but the sword maidens wanted to add flair to their cuisine by seeking out the flavors of forest – ferns and mushrooms.

It was mid afternoon when Kazumi and Yasue rode a fast turtle to a lush pine forest halfway down the mountain. This evergreen wood bordered Morning Cloud Meadow on the east side of Mount Kei'an. Morning Cloud Meadow was so named not just because people could watch the sunrise from this scenic spot, but also because the colors of the summer flowers that grew here were as rich and as deep as the colors of the morning sky.

The wildflowers were now in full season, but the maidens paid the nearby meadow no heed. Their eyes sought only the delicious _matsutake_ mushrooms that grew under the shadow of the pines and the crisp ear mushrooms that sprouted from tree trunks.

The duo seemed fully focused on their mundane task until the fast turtle they had tethered to a pine sapling lowed lightly. Kazumi's right hand casually went to her sword hilt while her left hand picked up her half-full basket of ear mushrooms.

Some yards away, foraging for _matsutake_ near the roots of a large pine, Yasue spoke calmly. "Another fast turtle is approaching. I felt its vibrations through the ground. I would guess it is carrying two people or one very heavy person from the sound of its tread."

"It can't be either of our _senpai_. Kyuuzou should be taking the west road and Ayame would arrive from the north." Kazumi quickly untied their own fast turtle. She led the animal deeper into the woods and hid it.

Yasue dropped to the ground and pressed her ear against the earth, listening to the footsteps of the approaching animal until her dark-haired junior returned to her side. "The pace of the beast is not hasty," The pale-haired warrior said as she stood up. "I sense no _sakki_. Let us see. Perhaps it is not an enemy."

At that, the two sword students climbed swiftly up the tall pine, each finding her perch on a firm branch.

Minutes passed before the riders that Yasue spoke of came into sight. A single land turtle carrying two people was walking at a leisurely pace up the trail to Morning Cloud Meadow.

"It's Kyuuzou _senpai _and Kanbei-dono!" Kazumi said in a hushed voice, recognizing the new arrivals. "They're early! And why did they take the east road?"

"I do not know," Yasue whispered back, peering at the distant figures from their hiding place among the leaves of the large evergreen.

The fast turtle came closer.

"Hey, Kyuuzou senpai is…" Kazumi observed the crimson samurai seated in front of the broad-shouldered dark-haired man.

"… blindfolded." Yasue finished her sentence, raising her eyebrows at the sight of her senior with a handkerchief bound around his eyes and Kanbei's strong arm coiled around his slim waist.

The turtle came to a halt at the edge of the blooming meadow. The two hidden watchers saw Kanbei dismount first. The tall samurai then cautiously helped Kyuuzou down from the beast's saddle.

Under Yasue and Kazumi's puzzled gaze, Kanbei took the blindfolded Kyuuzou by the hand and led him into the field of flowers.

"There are flowers in front of us." The young man said as Kanbei steered him forward. The dark samurai turned to look at him, probably to make sure that Kyuuzou had not already removed his blindfold.

"I can smell them," the pale samurai stated flatly in response to Kanbei's questioning gaze which he could not see but could sense. The older man gave a wolfish smile in return. Then he led Kyuuzou towards the part of the meadow where the blooms were the thickest. The crimson warrior kept a strangely passionless face as he let the slender fingers of his free hand trail over the tops of the wildflowers.

"What's going on?" Yasue wondered.

"I have no idea…" Kazumi answered in a low, cautious voice.

The two men finally came to a halt in the middle of the meadow where the reds, the pinks, the whites, the yellows, the oranges, the blues and the purples grew in a mad blaze of glory.

"All right, you can open your eyes now!" The dark-haired ronin declared triumphantly to his companion. The blond pulled his blindfold off. For a moment, no emotion broke the surface of his impassive face. Then the vaguest hint of a smile started playing about Kyuuzou's lips as he took in the breathtaking sight of wildflowers of every hue spiraling away from him, spreading across the meadow as far as the eye could see. 16 years ago, Ayame had tried to console the 11 year old Kyuuzou by taking him to this place of wondrous colors, but at that time, Kyuuzou's _senpai_ had not yet realized that the only color the boy saw was red. "What a waste of her time and energy to bring me here!" The young Kyuuzou had thought. And knowing that he could not see what Third Sister wanted him to see had only hurt him more.

Now the crimson warrior was looking at the full beauty of what Ayame wanted him to see all those years ago.

The scarlet samurai turned towards Kanbei, who held his gaze with smoldering dark eyes.

"My crimson cloud of the glorious morning!" The wavy-haired samurai declared. "I hereby give to you all the colors of the heavens and the earth, the seas and the mountains! For when I look at you I am reminded of the beauty of the sky at sunrise!"

Now even the usually uptight Kazumi was trying to stifle a snicker. "What awful lines men come up with!" She shook her head. "Kyuuzou _senpai_ is not vain enough to imagine himself handsome, nor does he put his trust in physical beauty, for _senpai_ is one who already knows that his true worth lies elsewhere. That poor Kanbei isn't going to get anywhere with this flattery."

Yasue chuckled. "Ah, but the gallant warrior might be sincere. After all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder."

If Kyuuzou sensed the presence of his two _kouhai_ or heard their distant talk, he did not show it. The crimson samurai was now pouting at Kanbei. "Don't pretend that this is your idea." The young man tried to keep himself from smiling. "Now I know what Third Sister wrote about in her 'secret' letter to you. She asked you to do this, right?"

"But the speech, the speech is completely mine. I put much thought into those lines." Kanbei protested, trying to put on an injured expression. Yet the middle-aged man could not help breaking into a grin when Kyuuzou, still pouting, turned his face away.

Amidst the fragrance of a thousand blooms, the dark man stepped forward boldly and wrapped his arms around Kyuuzou's slim waist. The slender samurai still kept his face turned away from his older companion but Kanbei bent and pressed a gentle kiss to that blond head. He could not see the passions written on the younger man's face, but he suspected that Kyuuzou was, at this moment, smiling at the swaying summer flowers.

_THE END_

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

Dear Readers,

After more than a year, _Retribution_ is finally completed! Many thanks to those who followed this tale to its conclusion! I very much appreciate your patience and support!

The written fic has come to an end but still, my work on Retribution will continue for some time to come:

I am planning to illustrate all the chapters of Retribution eventually. At the moment, illustrated chapters 1-15, 17, 21, 28 are hosted on my S7 fansite. I hope to illustrate Ch 16 at some point in the near future. Illustrated chapters 30, 32 - 34 will be up sooner, thanks to Sin who did some cool fanart for me. You can either subscribe to a feed on my fansite (link available on my profile page) or watch my livejournal (fic illustrations and WIPs generally go there first before the final pieces appear on my site) for Retribution illustration updates.

I am still in the process of releasing illustrated chapters for Retribution's pre-series companion fics "Wolf Warriors", "Happy Endings", "Edge of Alienation", "One Life, One Love", "Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor", "Unforgiven", etc. Subscribe to a feed on my site, or check the site's update log regularly for news.

Retribution might have a sequel with an M rating, eventually. I've already started work on the first two chapters. Obviously, stuff happened in between the time Kan and Kyuu left Mount Kei'an in the previous chapter and their return visit a year later in this chapter. And life goes on after this chapter too. The question is how will the survivors of Kanbei's clan react to Kyuuzou? Aside from the fact that he is a former enemy soldier and the son of the disgraced deserter Shizuka (which probably no one will know as long as neither Kanbei nor Kyuuzou says a word about it) , there is the issue of the customs of Akashima Province being very different from those of Yoshin Prefecture or Nankai Prefecture (places where Kyuuzou grew up).

If Haruko and Ayame knew more about the Akashiman customs, they might not have so lightly let Kyuuzou leave with Kanbei. In Akashima, the legal division between _kyunin_ (higher samurai) and _kachi_ (lower samurai) is practically the distinction between two castes. (similar to _kyunin/kachi_ divisions during the Tokugawa era) Higher and lower samurai cannot intermarry with each other. The _kachi_ can marry commoners but this is out of the question for _kyunin_. In Akashima, anyone from among the _kyunin_ can rise to become daimyo if he has the might. But such an advancement is legally prohibited to _kachi_. While Kanbei was born a _kyunin_, Kyuuzou was a commoner who managed to become a _kachi_. In Haruko's Nankai Prefecture, class distinctions are not as rigid. The samurai clan of Nankai is more like a non-hereditary military government (although children tend to stay in their parents' professions and it's not that easy to join the warrior class), the hierarchy of the samurai clan is flatter, and marriage between classes, while not extremely widespread, is not considered taboo.

And there are not just social obstacles, but also personal ones. Is it realistic for someone with Kyuuzou's history of peer relationships (or rather, lack of them) to suddenly turn into a loving partner? Ayame and Kyuuzou's siblinghood can hardly be considered a healthy 'peer relationship' – on its worst days, it's more like a kid brother tolerating a barely tolerable older sister whom he feels obligated to be loyal to but secretly wants to surpass. Mizuho and Haruko are also not his peers, they are his seniors.

The only peer Kyuuzou was recorded as having some (NON-romantic) regard for in this ficverse is minor OC Akira (See companion Wolf Warriors and Unspoken) but Kyuuzou never expressed his feelings. Akira died without ever knowing that Kyuuzou went beyond tolerating him but actually appreciated and respected him. Kyuuzou seemed to get along with minor OC Masahiko (whom he calls "Masa-kun") who appears in Wolf Warriors and Happy Endings but it is doubtful if their relationship went beyond comrade/acquaintance level. In short, Kyuuzou never had a real peer relationship, even a friendly one. It would be interesting to see how he would get along with Kanbei.

And to complicate things, Kanbei's ex might make her reappearance. (Kanbei has two sort-of exs. The first one, Chihiro, doesn't really count cos' she was an arranged marriage candidate. And she is conveniently dead. But as for the second so-called ex, things get a little complicated.)

So before I can start the sequel, I need to finish (or at least get a lot more traction on) the pre-series fics "Edge of Alienation" and "Mandate of Heaven", because they will flesh out the history and character of Kanbei's sort-of ex Michiyo, whose existence Kyuuzou certainly won't be happy to know about. ;-)

But "Edge of Alienation" and "Mandate of Heaven" aren't my top priority right now cos' there are a few other fics – both one shots and multi-chapters - outside the Retribution universe that I finished way back but am yet to edit and/or upload. So my main focus will be on getting these out first. One thing at a time.

At any rate, those who still want a Retribution fix can still get new stuff in the form of Retribution art! Drop by my site from time to time.


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